Other, Everywhere.

9 Dec

Hello my Unusual Beauties, Happy Thursday! I must issue a bit of a warning: my Musings were plentiful over this past week, and I am having a hard time organizing the ponder. A lot of my thoughts and reactions have stemmed from the last week’s Musings post. Let us start with that, then. The response to last week’s monumentally locquacious essay on intuition and self preservation was unparalleled. I am so stunned, that I have not written one reply for fear of interrupting the sheer reverence that has since been my companion. I am incredibly humbled and  I am shaking my head in astonishment at those of you Readers who contacted me in some form to share your own stories of following intuition and also your harrowing experiences of having to choose self-preservation in an episode of fight …or flight. Such warriors among us! Not at all surprising, of course, since we are Kristen Stewart supporters, after all; and she, the Reigning Other Queen is an exemplary guide of courage and self-preservation in an increasingly chaotic environment.

So what had began with what I can only really describe as a buzzing, the last six days have been eventful. Purchasing the Eclipse DVD with “commen-tree (duh)” aside, there were not many instances of  Stewie sightings or amorous pictures  illustrating Kristen and Rob’s undeniable mutual admiration for one another–which lends to the listless energy rippling through the fandom–but I mean eventful in terms of isomorphism. What is isomorphism, you ask? Well, via google, you’ll find jargon highlighting mathematical logarithms, alignment, similarities and equal points…but really I’m referring to that moment of realization of:


*Insert snicker-snorts from my brother Chew and maybe my mother, for my unabashed reversion to my hippie roots.* Luckily, my brother doesn’t read Musings very often and my Mother doesn’t read it at all (another story, another time, my friends). So no patchouli jokes from the peanut gallery today,mmmkay?!  I found that there were so many similarities, links and moments of synchronicity this past week that I was staggered and speechless. Impossible, KJ, you may scream, You, Speechless?? Simmer down a sec, and let me ‘splain.

The entire reason I began writing Musings was to help promote self-reflection and isomorphism–the recognition that not only is Kristen Stewart Other and worth defending, but WE ARE OTHER and we are worth defending and preserving as well. Last week, more than any week to date, I received private messages, emails and DMs from you poets outlining your reactions. A disproportionate, frightening number of you have experienced something similar to my scary KNOCKING encounter last week, and an alarming number of you have reported experiencing personal invasions and/or assaults that have, of course, effected and influenced you to this day.

Kristen's ponder > my ponder

Last week in my anecdote The Gift of Fear, I referenced an incident mentioned once in a previous Musings: I had experienced a life-altering event that I refer to as The Breakthrough, in which I talked a sexual predator/burglar out of harming me further when he broke into my home in broad daylight while I was alone.

** *SOBERING STATISTIC ALERT* ** Crime is on the rise in these dire times of our economic crisis. In the United States, according to The U.S. Justice Reports of March 2010, 1 of every 5 homes experience a home invasion/break-in, translating to approximately 8,000 break-ins per day. Even more terrifying, 38% of assaults and 60% of rapes occur during these home invasions.

Last week’s KNOCKING encounter re-triggered several reactions resonant with my own trauma recovery, and I suddenly found myself in an unfamiliar (to me) position of expertise. My mother’s email the next day  requesting my assistance with her friend (D, as I introduced him to you last week) was a startling reminder to me that every single day, people experience frightening incidents and will need support to process these events. I can do that. I can share my knowledge to help an Other.  This. Is. What. I’m. SUPPOSED. To. Do. Empower, support, guide, share.

I had begun a personal memoir project while in therapy back in 2006, in the aftermath of my own experience, because The Breakthrough drastically altered my path, actually righting it, but still causing unrest and tension. I was single, a first year doctoral student, in my Goddess-Only-Knows year of a psych internship; I moved out of my apartment, moved in with my family, took a leave of absence from my jobs, and traveled. I became ….pensive..However, I put that writing project aside a couple years ago in favor of pursuing Plan B (which placed me in the talons of BastardNation); so any creative or blissful leanings fell to the wayside. As a result of last week’s KNOCKING (Who’s there? Ohai Opportunity!) Episode, and sharing it with you Majestic Misfits, I am pulling out the old files, dusting off the journals I wrote and reinvesting some time and attention into finishing it. Just in time for my attentions to turn to a little private practice into which I’m trying to inject a spark of life. . .

Because it is the magic of Synchronicity, The Magical Little Practice began gaining momentum this week as well. I have received an influx of inquiries into receiving counseling services and have even booked a regular client. Also…*clears throat* I received a phone call from a mental health referral company requesting an interview with me to be videotaped and released online, as they found the practice and website (promoting Otherness and Bliss) on Google. So um, tomorrow (Friday) at this time, if I so choose, will be immortalized and possibly already going viral in promotion of The Magical Little Practice. I’m kinda freaking out, not gonna lie. While I feel pretty comfortable with my my skills in my job and my hope to have a thriving private practice, I’m nervous about details…Um…These are the important things I am plotting: Cut my hair? Tame it? Will my voice sound as tinny and whiney to prospective clients as it does in my own ears?  (though CC and JHiggs tell me I have a phone-sex voice, will that distract??) Will the camera pan to my shoes? #onlyhalfjoking

Louboutins...Appropriate Interview Shoes? Sometimes. Powerful? Always.

This all happened in the past few days after I felt the distinct SHIFT of isomorphism/synchronicity. Not a moment too soon, as I am just barely staving off the tsunami of panic surrounding financial hardships and am thiiiiiissss close to collapsing in tears on the floor in the fetal position.

Do you see it? Do you see how it all weaves together? Your letters  and comments highlighted your willingness to be brave and share a bit of yourselves with me. Your courage–like Kristen’s, like Claire Danes’s and our past/future Featured Rebel Royals, our shared traits of Otherness–inspires and reminds those of us who are flailing that we are powerful and can contribute in many ways for movement and harmony. We all are Ambassadors of Other.


In addition to encouragement for me to finish some highly personal projects that I neglected for years, and aside from the shift in realization that I had much to contribute to healing, you all have inspired me to seek other moments of isomorphism in the world of our Reigning Queen of Other, Ms Kristen Stewart. I received letters from a handful of folks suffering the heartbreak of trying to encourage Otherness in their children. Some Musings readers have young Royal-Rebels-In-Training experiencing the discomfort and agony of seeking self-identity in the shark-infested hallways at school. There is bullying, taunting, alienating, physical fighting, fractured hearts and shattered self-esteem at stake here, and these kids are only just entering in double digits of years of life. Sound familiar?

I recognized that these young rebels are experiencing the scrutiny and disenchantment of being labeled much like our Reigning Queen Kristen and her fellow Royal Rebels.  A friend, @Nhess_V sent me a message in reaction to last week’s essay containing a March 2010 article from The Independent, The Independent: Kristen’s Musings from The ‘Twilight’ Zone. In this article, Kristen shares with Charlotte Cripps her thoughts of labels placed on her, even in the midst of receiving BAFTA’s Rising Star Award. “I felt overwhelmed,” Stewart states regarding standing on stage in front of legendary actors in the industry (and Royalty, as Prince William was in attendance and presenting that night as well). She was ‘overwhelmed in the presence of “….These industry people, whom I don’t just admire, but who are the foundation of what I want to do”.

While Kristen refers to herself as awestruck, inspired and overwhelmed, her BullShit People, detractors and AssClown Critics label her instead as “Anti-Hollywood”, aloof, cold, distant and ungrateful. Even in her nomination and subsequent receipt of The Rising Star Award, Kristen’s attackers and the “nerdy bloggers” would diminish Kristen’s professionalism and her skills as an actor by referring to her as ‘that twilight girl’, claiming that she only won the award due to her appearance in a block-buster franchise. Of course, we know that she has an impressive resume bursting with critically and publicly renown work  (which leant to the Rising Star nomination in the first place), but commenters, evaluators and spiteful critics don’t acknowledge that. Because she presents as a shy, thoughtful young woman with an independent streak she is labeled unfavorably. The harm in labels however,  as I tell the mothers of Young Misfits and Others-In-Training, is that they are limiting and incredibly subliminal. Lather and repeat. Lather and repeat. If we are labeled enough, we begin to truly internalize this and sadly, we believe it.

those quiet moments, reacquainting ourselves ...with ourselves

Humans label, categorize, pre-judge because they simply need to know how to interact and behave themselves. I advised my friend K–whose daughter is struggling with Mean Girls-type behavior while in Middle School–that the Mean Girls bully and single out her daughter because she simply doesn’t act according to the label that was placed on her. K’s daughter is a perfect example of Other. She is highly intelligent, bright, enjoys school, is confident in her knowledge, and does not prescribe to just anyone’s expectations for her. She marches to her own beat, and that alone is what causes the bullies to ostracize and resent her. They are disconcerted and unsure of what to do with a confident adolescent girl…Because aren’t teenage girls supposed to be compliant (people-pleasing), feminine (but not too feminine as to be sexual), and well versed in popular cultural icons (but not in academic subjects)? It’s a travesty that K’s beautiful daughter questions her identity and strength and worth simply because she doesn’t discuss the latest lip gloss shade with her peers. It’s no wonder that middle school kids feel the pressure of great expectations, what with media or Hollywood outlets forming these ill-fitting labels and implementing them publicly on highly visible and relevant public figures such as Kristen Stewart.

“I am myself for myself and not for anybody else.”



*Attempts to go unnoticed in public

*Possesses an ‘unflinching sense of truth’

“Sincerity seems to be a problem today, but I prefer to be hated than be false and fool people.”~ Kristen Stewart

So, as I cautioned in the beginning, I had a sackful of thoughts but didn’t have any structure at which to address them, so we flowed. I won’t feature a new Royal Rebel today, not because we are lacking such beautiful creatures, but because I wanted to take this week’s post to address the profound effect you all had on me in the past several days. We’ll have plenty of weeks to get to know the many Soulful Majestic Misfits out there…Having said that, I cannot express my gratitude to you enough. You used your voices and spoke your truth. You encouraged me to access my power in the act of you highlighting your own. You shared with me personal experiences and struggles you and your beloveds, encountered;  you explained and better yet, implemented your role model status and represented Otherness in the community–at least you did, you beautiful rebels.

The Twilight Saga author and a particularly acerbic, mouthy Canadian “entertainment blogger” had a harder time of it, committing particularly painful faux pas. The former practically endorsed  a Kristen-Hating/Rob-Obsessed (not the harmless kind) website in her own audio commentary, and the latter caused unnecessary panic by issuing  misleading “spoilers” about the Breaking Dawn screenplay. Well, we can counteract those little wounds by continuing to seek out how we can further the movement of EMBRACING OTHER amongst the fandom and ourselves. In the next couple weeks as we near the end of 2010, we’ll review this epic year for Kristen and her Partner In Crime Robert; We’ll address holiday spirit, friendships, LOVE, Marriage, and OTHERNESS. New Featured Rebels queued for closer inspection? ….Natalie Portman, Helena Bonham Carter, Robert Downey, jr, Ziyi Zhang

Until next week…Keep Going, Guys. Keep On…Always, KJ





QUESTION: Do you have any  personal projects that were pushed to the wayside that you’d like to resume?

Do you have any tips for me on how to best present on-camera? *grimacing*


A/N: Thank you to my Cyber Sisters/Readers. You all provide me with such knowledge and support. You’re glorious and I bow down.

To the providers of all The Pretty…Tumblr has become my new go-to source for inspiration and gorgeous, gorgeous pictures. I think every single picture in this posting was found on Tumblr. I tried to link the sources to the images. Some I was successful with..Some not so much. THESE IMAGES ARE NOT MINE.

Marble…you’re my awesome partner in crime for plotting ways to get into a Sam Bradley concert. We TOTALLY have it for next time.

BOUFFANT… I just love you. Thanks for all the support and promoting you do for this little piece that I can contribute.

8 Responses to “Other, Everywhere.”

  1. Crystal December 11, 2010 at 4:55 pm #

    I wish I had read this sooner, I would have offered my television interview advice as it was something I was quite used to do with my last job. I loved being in front of the camera, enjoying that nervous terrified butterflies in stomach fear that they would ask me a question I couldn’t answer and while it happened more often than not, I always came through and delivered (even if it was pure bullshit in disguise on several accounts.)

    Wonderful post as always. To K – you should be VERY proud of your little Other in training. She sounds lovely and I am confident all of these misfortunes at school will only help her grow into a strong, independent woman just like Kristen and any Other.

    Lastly, phone sex voice? What other voice SHOULD a therapist have? It’s so much win. Trust me.


  2. true love December 10, 2010 at 8:15 am #

    K..i will continue saying..ONCE AGAIN..speachless..ur words are an inspiration to all..congrats on your clients..and can’t wait so see the video..u’ll be awsome..and don’t worry ur a beautiful lady..God bless..xoxo..;0)see ya..

    true love

  3. ladybug December 10, 2010 at 3:56 am #

    Right now there a few projects brewing in my mind…stuff I’ve always wanted to do but for some reason never did. Next year is definitely going to be one for taking acting!

    I’m wearing that cape 😉

    As for appearance on camera: don’t wear red or sripes (because they make fuzzy things on camera). Other than that I’m sure you’ll be fine!

  4. beans December 10, 2010 at 3:40 am #

    Another amazing Musings, KJ. Your words are so inspiring, I will most definitely be sharing them with my daughter. 😉

    I, as I’m sure everyone here is, am behind you all the way. Giving you my support and hoping that you will feel that when you are sitting in front of that camera. I have every faith that you will do a kick ass job. Good luck bb.

  5. Aai December 9, 2010 at 10:10 pm #

    Kai baby – no matter what you wear your inner truth strength and beauty will shine forth – wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
    Beautiful musings again- filing them all away so I can do my best to help my daughter navigate her way through the world with her own inner grace, strength, truth and beauty shining forth like yours.
    Good Luck Possum. Mwah.

  6. DeeDreamer December 9, 2010 at 8:25 pm #

    Loved your post…you’re an inspiration, as always! So much happiness for you and your big opportunity tomorrow. As I used to tell college candidates interviewing with my former company…Just be yourself. Show the people who’ll be watching who *you* are. You’ll connect with the right people who need someone with your counseling style and your methodology. Your message will be heard by those who are ready and meant to receive it! xo ~DD

  7. ellelala December 9, 2010 at 8:12 pm #

    Labels, KJ. Why are you always peeking in my brain and stealing my thoughts?! I definitely hear you on Labels. Labels = suckage. If you hear something so much, you believe it about yourself, even when that tiny Other voice inside of you is trying so hard to scream that IT IS WRONG. Often people slap those things on you with the very best intentions… and that just somehow makes it worse.

    Also, I’ll see your financial fetal position and raise you bursting into tears and scaring your parents. That was me this week. Good times. Not.

    I can’t wait to see your interview. Camera tips: 1. be aware of your posture, but don’t be stiff (and now I’ve freaked you out and you will be hyper-aware of everything), 2. try not to blink too much (you will now blink a lot), and 3. relax and remember that this is what you do and love. Your natural talent and compassion will shine through.

    Also… I think something is on fire on my street… random, but I need to go find out what the smell is.

  8. Sbella December 9, 2010 at 8:10 pm #

    Greatttttttt read! Cant wait for the next one. Ive been MIA for a few days. and gotta keep up with the other musings.! 😀

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