Within and Beside You

28 Jul
A/N: The images & lyrics featured here are not mine. Many resources are cited in embeds if you click the pictures. Song lyrics cited in the tail-end A/N along with today’s playlist. This essay is embarrassingly unbeta’ed. Be kind.

Open and just hold the lantern in the doorway

For the freedom of it

And you take the night air through your nostrils

And you breathe in out, in out

And you breathe just like that, just like that

Ohai there my loveliest of lovelies! Well, my Beauties, I am not even going to attempt to cover all facets of  the supreme epicness that erupted from this year’s San Diego Comic Con. Most of you witnessed it first hand either in San Diego after waiting in line for days (Props to my warrior girls @RobKris13and @Edmett) or by hovering around your computers watching a live-blogging and Twitter feed from morning til night. And the numerous blogs and sites were superb in gathering and posting images, sound bytes, and video clips for the fandom faster than a Cullen driving a Volvo, so we were never left wanting for long. You can read the accounts and the interviews to your heart’s content all over the place for hours and still have footage you didn’t get to yet. There’s a lot, is what I’m saying. I don’t need to add my tangential ramblings to the cacophony, so today’s Musings will be my attempt at being succinct *snickers* and hopefully not repetitive. Let’s see how that goes, mmkay? But I wanted to highlight what I thought lent to the reasons for our Rebel Queen’s rousingly successful Comic Con weekend and why her pristine beauty somehow grew demonstrably more profound . Kristen Brought. It. This was the best she has ever been. EVER.  What is our Unconventional Beauty’s secret? While  all the cooking channel viewing and fight training have certainly contributed, I’m willing to wager  that her impossible loveliness is in response to something more subtle, and personal. So let’s explore this further, yes? Ok, Cats, put your mittens around your kittens, and A-WAY we GO!’ (name that quote and I’ll love you for always).

Beauty In Loving The Craft

And we saw her standing there

Our first glimpse at our reigning Other Queen before the Breaking Dawn Press Panel arrived in the form of the above picture, and the accompaniment of gasps and endless—> !!!!!!!! 8302%)#!@$%@&-<–the joys of communicating emotions in cyberspace. However, the incoherency was understandable, in my opinion. Her hair in tousled waves framing her immaculate skin above a sheer top revealing the black bra beneath, Ms Stewart appeared effortlessly sexy and gorgeous.

And then she sat down at the microphone for the panel, flanked by her amorous colleagues (including the calm and gifted director Bill Condon), and spoke candidly, excitedly and engagingly with the press amid flashing lightbulbs and murmurs.Within moments, it was evident that  the girl deemed by previous critics and naysayers as “awkward, uncomfortable and hostile” was no more. Ladies and Gentlemen, your Reigning Other Queen has arrived.

Is this Heaven or…

We always knew she was a lovely gal, but she has far transcended that descriptor it’s almost insulting. I could wax poetic about her flawless complexion and luminous eyes for years, but I want to acknowledge the unapparent internal structures lending to her almost otherworldly loveliness. It has been said that true beauty emanates from the goodness and light within. Kristen’s light derives from a newfound self-assuredness Over the past year she has gained confidence by way of  interpersonal work in staying centered and trusting her inner compass. She tuned out the constant barrage of criticisms and heckling from haters and from those who simply do not get it. She became involved in highly respected film ventures a la’ On The Road and she maintained close contact with her longtime supportive network (her family, her partner, her work team including the lovely Ruth and the constant John). She also continued to research challenging and compelling work projects.

Film industry  greats and Stew-colleagues such as Sean Penn and Jodie Foster have raved about Kristen’s accurate instincts and sagacious decisions around projects she pursues and people with whom she endeavors to work. It is the home stretch of what will be a five-year project of Twilight. Kristen’s instincts as a seventeen-year-old Indie film actress did not lead her astray. When she first spoke with Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke in 2007 regarding potentially taking on the role of Bella Swan in the film adaptation, Kristen reports she accepted the job  because she felt an affinity with the awkward, shy protagonist and her path towards self-awareness. Because Kristen felt that there was an honest, universal, relatable story about Bella and her great love Edward.

And what a story it is. And how correct Ms Stewart is. She committed in every way (as Kristen Stewart does) to the role in what she thought was a “small independent film” with a large readership. Four years and three Comic Cons later, her colleagues of past, present and future, as well as the very late-to-the-party media community are bestowing accolades for the fierce and refreshing force that is Kristen Jaymes Stewart. Her confidence is derived from knowing that she was correct in following her instincts and in her investment in the work. She loves what she does for a living and it shows. There’s congruency–what you see is truly what you get–that indicates less tension and more certainty. There isn’t a need to downplay or mask  joy or displeasure (if that be the case) felt. And we can see her. All of her. The positive, confirming feedback is pouring in. SHE. WAS. RIGHT.

And she is DEFINITELY en pointe again. And if we thought her comfortable lightheartedness at Breaking Dawn’s Panel was illuminating, then hold onto your hats and glasses, folks, because her appearance at the panel for Snow White and The Huntsman two days later was stunning 

I did not find Kristen’s decision to take on the role of Snow White particularly alarming. I’ve read an earlier incarnation of the script and found myself nodding in enthusiasm as we learned that Ms White wasn’t going to be just your average singing Disney cartoon. It made sense to me and I felt connected to the message of this incarnation of The Fairest of Them All. This Snow White, Kristen Stewart’s Snow White would be a strong, courageous warrior and ambassador to The People. When Kristen walked out on stage Saturday afternoon for the Q & A session for SWATH, I felt the distinct chills in knowing that we are witnessing the evolution of royalty. 

A Beautiful Ferocity

You’ve probably seen the Comic Con panel videos by now. If you haven’t, and I understand if that’s the case–there are SO many goodies it overwhelms– check @Robstenation‘s site for the videos: here for Breaking Dawn  and for the Youtube version, click–> here for Snow White and The Huntsman via @epnebelle. Also I encourage you to visit a SWATH Fansite created and ran by a couple friends of mine, @Dancer1 and @Cheermom called The Enchanting Beauty. You’ll find the latest news for SWATH production and  Kristen  without the gossip.

There are noticeable differences in Kristen between Thursday’s Breaking Dawn interviews and SWATH’s panel. For one thing, Kristen and her SWATH co-stars have barely spent any time together as they’ve all been working on other films. And for another, discussing, defending and explaining Isabella Swan Cullen’s actions and motivations are so deeply ingrained for Kristen after these several years, there were some slip-ups, and blurred lines between Kristen’s and Bella’s identities. Mostly though, I would attribute Kristen’s comfort in discussing Bella because she has had the luxury of marinating in and portraying a character over a longer, wider arc of time than most film roles allow. And Kristen is a passionate defender of her Bella.

*raises eyebrow* mmmhmm

But for the Snow White panel, we caught glimpses of Kristen in the company of extremely attractive new co-stars, exhibiting an eagerness, curiosity and pride on a level unfamiliar to us. Between her playful and almost sisterly-like banter with Charlize Theron, and her witty and self-deprecating responses to questions, Kristen, passionate and proud SWATH cast member, answered the call to portray the Beautiful Royal Hellion Snow White. 

It probably doesn’t hurt that the cast and crew boasts Oscar nominees and winners, as well as some of Britain’s acting elite (HELLO Ian McShane and Bob Hoskins). And these promo shots of the leads in costume…? *sputtering*

Truly a Rebel Royal, yes? 

Though the project is still in pre-production, the SWATH Panel at Comic Con sufficiently raised the bar and generated overwhelmingly positive buzz from..like, everyone, including the press and respectable journalists. Forbes journalist E.D. Kain writes:

 “But if that still shot of Kristen Stewart [up above] is any indication, I will be lining up for tickets when Snow White and the Huntsman hits theatres.”

There is something extremely awe-inspiring about people who face situations that are unchartered. Quitting a job one has had for years to participate in the construction of a starter company; speaking truth when everyone around you has been dishonest. Kristen is leaving behind the usual art house indie films she calls home, as well as the enveloping, familiar arms of her Twilight family to take on a film touted as on par with Lord of The Rings (oh HELL yes). There is a ferocity about this decision that is so very Kristen and so very Other. 

 Beauty Surrounds Her  

You say which way, which way

That’s all right, we’ve gotten hip to it

Behind you, beside you, beside you

Since the beginning days of Twilight Tuesdays and pre-Twitterazzi, Kristen and Robert have sought each other’s company and support as they catapulted from quiet obscurity into the view finder for millions of  rapt “fans”. A large factor in Kristen’s almost ethereal Comic Con appearance is the presence of love, support and encouragement in her immediate circle. Both Rob and Kristen have referred to one another as “my best friend”, and Kristen includes Taylor among a small group of people she “would do anything for” in the name of protection.

In my psychotherapy practice, I often recommend and encourage my clients to attend group counseling sessions in addition to individual sessions. I do this because there is a basic propensity for people to gravitate towards one another, especially when bound by similar experiences. And healing expedites when we have partners and supportive players on our side. Rob has mentioned in interviews in the past that because he and Kristen moved through the utter chaos of becoming famous together at the exact same time, they shared a deep and loyal bond, running even deeper than their immediate, easy friendship.  No one can quite understand the challenges and successes that come from being thrown into public consumption the way that Kristen, Rob and to a similar degree, Taylor can. They have become their own little huddle. #BesideYou

At the last Comic Con the Twi-Trio attended, (2009), Kristen literally took time out of  her shooting schedule for The Runaways to attend the convention to talk about the heartbreak and depression she had to communicate on-screen as Bella Swan. While some people heard Kristen’s words, she was more-often-than not defined by and questioned about her hair style (called a shag, not a mullet), and the Bullshit People and Haterade-drinkers skulked off and created wholly new websites and chat forums to bash Kristen. When asked about Kristen’s hair by an entertainment reporter, Kristen’s friend and confidante Taylor declared, “I think she looks sexy”.

Meanwhile, Rob, Kristen’s accomplice in Otherness, stared lovingly at her the. whole. time…This year, in the debut of Confi-ConStew, Kristen returned the supportive, encouraging, uh, appreciation for Rob and his Cosmopolis half-hawk.


Isn’t it fun having supportive ridonk sexy partners in crime? Of course, Rob’s hair didn’t spark anything remotely close to the riot that Kristen’s shag did. Don’t think that Rob didn’t notice the hypocrisy, by the way. Robert Pattinson is a clever, observant bloke. He attended Comic Con with his unusual hairstyle full-well knowing that people would most likely comment, judge, and question him. I actually fist-pumped when I caught a glimpse of his interesting coif. I noticed he had cut it even shorter than how he wore it for the Cosmopolis shoot. Whether it was his intent or not, Rob drew attention to his hair and his just-completed, non-Twilight film while simultaneously illuminating the double standards that “supporters” in this fandom practiced all the time. Why is it that Rob is revered and celebrated as “quirky” and “charming” for rocking a half-hawk at Comic Con while Kristen, having her hair styled as Joan Jett for her [awesome] work in The Runaways was ripped to shreds and called (and still called) every derogatory name in the Smack Book??

C’mon, Ladies. We can do better than this.

Something to think about, no? Bottom line: One more reason Kristen shined at San Diego Comic Con this year was due to the reassuring and encompassing presence of her dearest Accomplices in Otherness. Of course Rob and Taylor have faith in Kristen, they always have. But it was evident as the Breaking Dawn and SWATH panels progressed through the convention, that dozens if not hundreds of folks were finally jumping on board the KSTEW Support Train. One fellow leading the Kristen Stewart Fan Club charge was the kind and visionary director of Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon. Mr Condon may have praised Kristen’s dedication and love for the story in six different occasions. He is Team Kristen all the way. Another new mentor and commanding Rebel Beauty in Kristen’s supportive group appears to be another Rebel Queen~

A Beautiful Congruency

‘Cause I need Freedom now

And I need to know how

To live my life as it’s meant to be

Can you spot our Rebel Other Queen?

While all her Twilight co-stars wore dresses and stilettos…what did our girl wear? *HUGE GRIN* The final point I wanted to highlight this week was congruency. In geometry, congruency is when lines are the same size and shape. In philosophy and sociology, congruency refers to harmony between actions and ideas. In psychotherapy, someone is acting congruent when they are speaking of feeling a certain emotion, and their face and body language reflects said emotions. Happiness and excitement may look something like this:

When I say I’m a defender of Others and Misfits, I will act accordingly. You will not witness me throwing insults or jokes around at the expense of someone who has a different appearance or set of beliefs from my own. Neither will you witness Kristen acting incongruently. If she is nervous, you’ll know it. She’ll bounce that knee all over the place, and bite her nails to the quick in between interview questions. What you see is what you get. The reason Kristen Stewart is our Ambassador of Other is because she never  falsifies who she is, even when she is pressured by outside sources (um, MEDIA TRAINING? Are you kidding me??) to conform to the out-dated cookie-cutter ideal.

Congruency is Kristen exhibiting pride in and excitement about the choices she’s made in her profession. It is in knowing that she will be in a very physically demanding role with SWATH (“I’ll have swords and cool weapons”) and preparing herself by training in horseback riding, yoga and weapon-wielding.

It is in the way she is not hiding the affection and respect she holds for her partner Robert. It’s lovely to see their open, mutual affection for one another…Not that he  could ever effectively downplay his admiration for her, but still…The one and only joint interview for the press produced their most warm, inviting and organic interaction of the whole Comic Con weekend. It was mesmerizing to behold, even though it was only 3 minutes long. A content, confident, open, uninhibited, supported and cherished young woman again redefined an antiquated idea of “Beauty”.

Well, my lovelies. There you have it. Those are my thoughts on the jaw-dropping awesomeness of Comic Con 2011 and the Other Legacy that is our Reigning Other Queen. I attributed her heightened (how is that possible??) beauty to her confidence and the confirmation of her solid intuition; also her congruency and her amazingly constant and unconditional support team. There’s excitement  and eagerness for her upcoming projects and the love she feels for her craft.  Ahhh, love. Let’s not forget: She is loved and she loves in return. And it shows. That may be the best reason of all for Kristen’s transcendence this week.

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others realize that beauty cultivates from within and beside us.

Embrace Your Other.

*    *    *

QUESTIONS: What were your reactions to Comic Con? What elements contribute to your confidence and beauty? Do you love your work? Do you surround yourself with supportive family and friends? Are you congruently (authentically) living your life?

A/N: Next time I’m resuming the usual MOO outline featuring “What The Fangirl Learned” and  a new Rebel Royal. You were lovely with suggestions last week, btw, thank you! You can expect a couple little stories about gals named Christina and Ellen in the near future.

Squeezey Hugs and Sloppy Kisses To:

@Nhess_V for always, always spreading the Other Support and Musings postings all over the place each and every week.

@Mel452, my Aussie Darl for having a BIRTHDAY this week!

@DeeDreamer16 for always checking in on me …and even though she didn’t mention it, for celebrating a BIRTHDAY as well recently.

Bouffant. For listening to me talk shit out. Per usual.

Katie. For sharing the best conversations EVER and pulling me out of the funk when I go there.

Lyric excerpts featured: 

Beside you ~ Van Morrison

The Cave~ Mumford and Sons

Essay Playlist: 

What I Am ~ Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians

Santa Maria~ Gotan Project

The Cave ~ Mumford and Sons

10 Responses to “Within and Beside You”

  1. thimbles July 30, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    aww, another lovely and spot on post, KJ.

    psst…to that little ending trivia quote: That’s Vince Fontaine, baby!

  2. nail July 30, 2011 at 4:31 am #

    i’m BLINDED by her light lately……………so, so, bright!….so happy for her.

  3. abstract way July 29, 2011 at 8:19 pm #

    What a beautifully written commentary. You have captured everything that I have always admired about Kristen so eloquently. I wanted to share with you my recent Comic Con experience as I was one of the lucky 50 that got to briefly meet Kristen, Rob, Taylor and Bill immediately following the BD panel. Because I knew it would be quick, I thought about what I wanted to say to each ahead of time.

    This is what I shared with Kristen:
    Actually for a moment I was dumbstruck by her presence. She’s like an exquisite porcelain doll, that exudes a quiet strength and confidence. But I gathered myself, leaned into her and said, “I love your fierce independence and how incredibly dedicated you are to your work. I have a daughter and if she grows up with a spirit like yours, I will be so proud.”

    I said it with love and her reaction was priceless. She really took it in, pressed her hand over her heart and told me how much that meant to her. I could tell she was genuinely moved. I thought she was incredibly lovely.

    I feel so fortunate that I was able to share that moment with her. I look forward to seeing her move through her career and her life. I know whatever choices she makes, her life will be unique and extraordinary.

  4. Emma July 29, 2011 at 6:58 pm #

    Thank you thank you

  5. ladybug July 29, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

    Your words are SO spot on my dear friend! SO.SPOT.ON.

    Congruency!! Oh.my.beating.heart. I might still be trying to figure out a lot of stuff in my life, but some of it I’ve got figured out. And I’m very very VERY specific of living by those standards. Cue story time (I’m sorry, but as you probably have noticed by now, I’m a bit of an over-sharer):

    There’s a lot of gossip at my workplace. Lots of “he said-she said”, lots of ” I didn’t do it- *throws blame on someone else*. Last week I was talking to a colleague of mine and she was saying someone came to her and wanted to talk shit about me. And then she made me one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten, she told the other girl: You know what? You guys are always trying to stir shit with her, but the truth is: I’ve never heard J. say a bad word about anybody.”

    I could’ve cried. It’s just so nice to know your efforts are appreciated. As I told you last week, I don’t do hate, I try very hard not to gossip, and I always try to see the good side of people/things. So that answers part of your question.

    YES. I definitely try to surround myself with nice, positive people. And I gotta say that I have found a really nice niche here on the interwebs. I think you know where it is ; )

    As for my reactions to Comic-Con/Confid-Con (FLOVE THAT!): NSIHGOIH)(&=)nbdmbdkjbs!!!!!! Does this answer your question? Kristen was more gorgeous than ever (I know I say this everytime, but she DOES!). And I’m SO excited for BD and SWATH. SO EXCITED! BD is completed and done with. Bill is happy about it, Kristen’s happy about it, Rob hasn’t seen yet (that’s our clueless boy!)… I’m ready to get this over and done with and move on! And SWATH: OMG have you looked at those people? Can they be prettier? No? I thought so too. And the talent! I seriously cannot wait to see this.

    *backing away from comment box slowly*

    Have a great weekend everyone! xx

  6. LCMom July 29, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    Loved #SDCC! What a week. Still compiling all the stuff, but still cant get over how solid Kristen was in all elements of the event. And yet, caught her grabbing Rob’s shirt in a little fist during a photo opp. I think she still is not 100% comfortable in front of a crowd, or maybe a crowd of cameras (can you even imagine!?) but her pride in what she does showed through loud and clear. Director Bill Condon’s comments about her were fantastic. I’m beside myself waiting for both Breaking Dawn and Snow White. Thanks for being a vessel for the feelings so many of us have for and about Kristen.

  7. MattB July 29, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    Splendidly on point and refreshing as usual. And this “congruency” thing, I like it. I think you are absolutely dead on that Kristen is showing her increasing comfort with the spotlight and the insanity that events like Comic Con engender and it shows in her body language and spoken expression. She was stellar at the BD events. Just seeing her have to wind herself up in the old clips of her preparing to go onstage at the first CC and then watching her performance this year made me very happy for her.

    I now think SWATH may turn out to be no less an iconic role for her than Twilight has been. The almost universal excitement being expressed for this project after the Hall H performance is very encouraging. The cast was very loose and displayed a lot of camaraderie for a group so little exposed to each other.

    Thanks for always giving us something to think about and apply to our own lives in such an enjoyable format.

  8. Fanny July 29, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    Thank you for seeing Kristen thru her TRUE fans “EYES”.
    She will be envied bec. not only is she talented,beautiful but has character as well.
    If ever things will not work out as far as her private life is concerned she should know how
    much she is loved WORLDWIDE.
    She will be fine with whoever PARTNER she chooses in the future.

  9. deedreamer16 July 29, 2011 at 4:46 am #

    Oh, KJ…Where to start? *happy sigh*

    I loved every image you chose for this post. Each and every one is simply luminous. But more importantly, I loved and couldn’t agree more with the content of this essay; Kristen *has* evolved. Not that she didn’t captivate and demand attention before, but there’s absolutely, without a doubt a sense of “rightness” to her — she truly seems to be in so much more of a comfortable place in her life right now. She’s confident, she’s excited, she’s proud, she’s loved. That’s a powerful combination!

    I’m beyond thrilled to see the partnership and playfulness already developing between Kristen and the SWATH cast, and I know the result will be spectacular on film. The portrait of Charlize and Kristen is stunningly gorgeous!

    Lastly, it’s Kristen’s congruency that makes her so genuine. Her integrity in who she is has always been apparent; it’s now a blessing others are *finally* catching up to the program. 😉

    So Many Hugs,
    xoxo ~DD

    PS Thank you SO much for the birthday wishes!!! It means the world. 🙂

  10. tk July 29, 2011 at 2:18 am #

    “Of course, Rob’s hair didn’t spark anything remotely close to the riot that Kristen’s shag did. Don’t think that Rob didn’t notice the hypocrisy, by the way. He attended Comic Con with his unusual hairstyle full-well knowing that people would most likely comment, judge, and question him. I actually fist-pumped when I first caught a glimpse of his interesting coif. Whether it was his intent or not, Rob drew attention to his hair and the project he just completed while simultaneously illuminating the double standards that “supporters” in rthe fandom practiced all the time. Why is it that Rob is revered and celebrated as “quirky” and “charming” for rocking a half-hawk at Comic Con while Kristen, having her hair styled as Joan Jett for her work in The Runaways was ripped to shreds and called (and still called) every derogatory name in the Smack Book??”
    Thank you for saying this-I had to restrain myself from commenting about all those hypocrites that drooled about Rob’s hair(while saying exactly the opposite in 2009) .Well the same thing happened at the mtvmas.Can you imagine the backlash had Krisren said and did the absurd things Rob did?Kristen again knows-it reminds me of the ew article where she pointed out the exact issue:
    ” Pattinson: None of those associations came out and gave a statement [criticizing Kristen] without being called upon by the media first — who were doing it specifically to get hits on their websites. That whole system of Internet journalists, where no one is called to account, is almost entirely about hate. All these people get away with doing it because they have no responsibility to anyone. All they need is to get a salacious headline and people click on it, because it’s easy. And it’s quite good being part of these Twilight films because you have to give so many interviews all the time, you can defend yourself. That’s the only way. All of us stick together, as well. There are so many little nerds behind their computers, on their little blogs.

    Stewart: See, if I said that? Crucifixion. You can say so much more than me. It’s insane.

    Pattinson: That’s not true at all. When did I say anything {controversial}?

    Stewart: You’re really good, but you could say, “I just took a s*** on the Queen’s face,” and people would be like, “Oh, I love him! I love him!”

    Pattinson: That is so not true.

    -Kristen, you obviously feel like you’re under more of a microscope.

    Stewart: I’m a girl, and our fan base is primarily other girls. I would be the same way. I’d be like, “That b—- doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

    That about sums it all up.
    Thanks for your thoughts-they are always to the point and very inspirational.
    Love and kisses from Greece.
    p.s sorry for any mistakes-English is not my first language

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