Muselet: New Day

18 Aug
A/N:  Images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam, and Pinterest.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image for a link to its origins. Totally unbeta’d, so any mistakes and stumbles are mine, allll mine. This is only a shorty, but of course there is a playlist. Click here to open a new page & listen——>(

Here comes the sun

Hello, Lovelies. Long time no musings, I know. Those of you who have been my journey mates these past two-plus years understand that any silence from this site is not indication of similar silence experienced by it’s author. I have been musing. Oh, how I’ve been tumbling through and under and over and every which way through the contemplative immensity these past four, [five?] weeks. It’s a matter of reining it in and sharing the ramblings in a cohesive manner. Clearly, as I’ve proven time and time again, my challenge is succinctness. 

….Since brevity is the soul of wit ~ Shakespeare

When I decided on a whim to post this little ditty, the clock was twenty minutes shy of switching over to “00:00”, proclaiming a new day; one, as Anne Shirley [an early Other herself, as she dreams from her house of Green Gables] jubilantly reminds us contains “no mistakes in it yet”. It has now grown five minutes past midnight. I only wanted to post a little heads-up. To let you know that Musings is coming atcha this weekend whether you are ready or not. I wanted you to know that I. Am. Here. I never left. 

I was inspired to return to this WordPress Wonderland of Otherness for many reasons: because I needed to; because I wanted to; because I have so many words in my head and love in my heart I feared I may implode. Also, because I feel The Shift. The clouds are easing up slightly allowing for precious, nourishing slivers of light to illuminate the sky, warm our faces. 

Also, I never had the chance to properly celebrate Musings’ two year anniversary and I simply cannot let much more time elapse without writing about this glorious, shattering, profound year. And to not acknowledge that is just WRONG. This year has been everything. And the past two months in particular have simply changed the game.  

So I’m writing the celebratory MOO post that I had planned for weeks ago. This was before July 17, before my husband and I made some pretty intense decisions which lends to why we’re today, quite literally, separated by a world;  before I became involved in three funerals, before I made an unexpected but most cathartic return to composing music and finding long-forgotten melodies within. 

I created this space over two years ago because I needed a forum to find my voice and connect with kindreds searching for theirs as well. I wanted to to do something to help dissuade the negativity and maybe do my small part in creating change that I wanted to see in the world around me. No time is more apt or essential than now. 

So I figure: Let’s pick up right where we left off. 

****From my July 31, 2012: Twitlonger

There is one simple, pure, and constant concept that has been a small measure of comfort to me this week. And that is this: nothing, nothing, nothing is black or white. Nothing involving human beings and their emotional capacity can be categorized so easily. There is a gray area. There is an essential consideration that is near and dear to MY heart– of OTHER. That idea that is indefinable, fluid and against simple explanation. Because there is ALWAYS more.

We do NOT know. There is a sequence of events, there are precipitating triggers, there are esoteric factors that we have no access to, and–here’s where it’s crucial to understand– It is not OUR right to access.

No where is there an Admiration Rulebook that states we retain [or deserve] the right to acquire personal, private details in ANYBODY’S lives, let alone regarding people we have never met. We were never invited into their relationship. In fact, Kristen and Rob did everything in their power to preserve and protect what is theirs. They both have countlessly reminded us that idolatry is unwarranted and in the long run, completely, utterly UNFAIR. To ourselves. To them. 

People have asked, begged, prompted me to say something all week, and while it is quite flattering to me that you, of such great, burgeoning minds, seek out my addled brain for guidance, there is another part of me that feels pressure.

Yes I’m a clinical psychotherapist. Yes, I Muse on empowerment and compassion and love. Yes, I am a supporter of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson: Together, separately, no matter. But I too am wading through stages of grief, loss, confusion. And sometimes, though this ‘twitlonger’ doesn’t reflect that, I am without words and direction too.

Two points I had hoped to make, before this spiraled out of control into a full-on Musings.

1) Musings On Other Queens–this ‘blog’– is not going anywhere. It never was ‘A Kristen Blog’ or ‘A Robsten [ugh, you KNOW how I detest that label] Blog’. It was a space I created so we could talk about the ways we can overcome labels, misconceptions and generalizations. A way to give voice to the underrepresented. It was intended for us to have a forum to encourage SELF-REFLECTION on how we can contribute to the lessening of stereotypes, possibly banishing the bullying and the hate-mongering.

I think we need that capacity more now than ever. And so no, MOO is not closing down or taking a hiatus other than it’s regular breathing schedule as I navigate my 3D life. And BOY is my 3D life colorful this month. Balance, babies, it’s all about balance.

This started it ALL. It aint stopping anytime soon, kiddos

2.) I honestly and soulfully believe that Kristen and Robert will move through this, in a way that is healing and right for Kristen and Robert. Not by our definitions or standards, but theirs. As it should be.

Also, any amount of processing and rehabilitation will take time. 

Sitting on Twitter, or watching entertainment ‘news’ channels obsessively is maybe the most damaging thing we could do right now. And I can say with utmost confidence and authority, that believing wholly in anything the “media” [tabs] churn out is a great disservice to … well, everything, everyone, including Kristen and Robert, the very people that bound us together in the very beginning.

In my twelve years in training as a professional listener…I have learned an open mind is the most compassionate and–most often–prevalent truth in the end. Compassion and support is what Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson need more than anything right now.

Be well and take care of yourselves. Cultivate all of your strengths and blessings in your everyday, tangible life. And while a young couple takes time to assess and evaluate their hopes, aspirations and paths, we can do the same.

See? We’re all rediscovering our humanity together.

In a letter I wrote to my CyberSisters a couple days ago, in the midst of my own personal anguish, I concluded:

“I want to tell you as a marriage and family therapist, that I see this devastation often. It happens. EVERY. DAY. In one form or another.

And, yes, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. the sun rises again and people-warriors make their way towards it’s warmth.

I have faith. I have so much faith.

So a 22 year old girl is human. She resides with the rest of us mortals. I am so happy for the company.”

I am so happy to be in your company.


See you this weekend for the commencement of celebrating Other? Yesssss. All my love and light… KJ

*    *    *


Ho Hey ~ The Lumineers

Ashes and Wine ~ A Fine Frenzy

Breathe Again ~ Little People feat Rachael R

Hold On ~ Alabama Shakes

16 Responses to “Muselet: New Day”

  1. LCMom August 21, 2012 at 6:06 pm #

    We are here with you K, not needing anything FROM you but wanting to experience … whatever.. WITH you. Come to us here when you can. It’s always like finding an old friend unexpectedly and wanting to invite them over for tea and a chat. Time to settle down and reflect. I have difficulty finding that time in my RL, which makes time here at MOO so valuable. When you’re ready.. we’ll be here.

  2. Joana (@dizzy_ladybug) August 21, 2012 at 1:49 pm #

    *hugs you fiercely*

    You never ever disappoint my dear. All the right words at the right times.

    I think this a great time to reflect on what our role in all of this is. They are/were on a pedestal where they never asked to be. I think they would/WILL be much happier down here with the rest of us. Fighting on. OTHERING ON.

    I believe in love, forgiveness, and humanity. And I have faith both of them do to. I will be here with all of my support and none of my judging, whatever may be.

  3. aitchcs August 19, 2012 at 1:08 pm #

    I hope to find some online communities that are still Kristen Fans! i am looking!

    • KJ August 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

      I’m so glad you peeked in over here at MOO! I support Kristen and Robert unconditionally as I have for my four years in this community. For other Pro-Kristen sites, check the side panel to your right on this front page and see the heading “RoyaL Rebel Supporters and AFfiliates” for their names and links. My dear friend CC runs KSIBTU (KStew is Better Than You) and she is brilliant and witty qualities that are especially important these days. The ladies at TeamKristenSite are lovely and Dan at Enamored With Stew is thoughtful and eloquent with his admiration of Ms Stewart. Check them all out. They run marvelous sites and offer intelligent perspectives. Happy Exploring! And Welcome! xo, KJ

      • aitchcs August 19, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

        Thank you! Very few people respond ever to me so I appreciate it.

        Love Aitch

  4. Clarisse August 18, 2012 at 8:34 pm #

    Your words are full of sensibleness.
    It’s a challenging time for many people but this is Life, right?
    It seems one way to move a step up in order to grow up…
    Each day brings a gift and each one should find theirs.
    Thanks for sharing your luminous thoughts

    • KJ August 19, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

      Hi Clarisse, thanks so much for peeking in and for leaving kind words. It is indeed a challenging time for many people these days, including myself. But every day is rife with blessings, I agree, it’s a matter of choosing to see these gifts over the challenges. Thank YOU for sharing your lovely thoughts. xo KJ

  5. Madeleine August 18, 2012 at 6:54 pm #

    Kjn, we love having your company and I am very happy that you are not going anywhere. I love musings !! We should have faith.

  6. Madeleine August 18, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

    Mija- we love your company and glad your not going anywhere. We should always have faith, support and compassion. Love your musings

    • KJ August 19, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

      Keeping the faith and hugging YOU, Mija! Thank you for sticking with me and for supporting and compassionately regarding Kristen. So much love. xo, KJ

  7. L(alotmoreofmagic) August 18, 2012 at 11:34 am #

    I am a strong believer in words having power. Your words have always been something I have read with interest because you have a way with them and I love the way you look at the world. But have you ever stopped to think the impact your words have on people once you send them into the universe?

    I was thousands of miles away and in a different continent when this happened. In the States, I dart into twitter frequently each day and I probably know way more than I should or need to about things. But when I am away I tend to put my head down and concentrate on work. In this case, I did not even hear the news until later, which in hind sight is a good thing I guess for I was not exposed to much of what was written in the media.
    But though I was away and intentionally made a choice not to read what was written in the American press, those words did reach me. One of the things I love to do while traveling abroad is read local newspapers and to my shock and horror, I found articles from American tabloid websites in respected newspapers abroad. These newspapers did not either care or check the source when they printed what they did. I was kind of bummed because it seemed to be an international thing. It was then I realized the power and reach of tabloid websites.
    I have long believed and said that though this fandom has negativity and drama that seem to overwhelm sometimes, it is the people who are positive and kind that in my experience are a majority that make this a place I want to be. I did not care about what was said in the media, but I was not sure if I wanted to be a part of the fandom if something fundamental had changed. I was a fan of two people for different reasons and I did not want to choose. It was then that I read your Twitlonger. Your words said exactly what I felt. For what it’s worth, your words made me feel that this fandom was a place that was fundamentally the same, a nice place to be despite the loud negativity that was taking center stage at that time.
    In many ways, what I do is a frivolous thing to many and they may never understand why I feel the way I do. But I know you get it. I am so happy to be in your company too. Thank you for that.
    Please do not underestimate the power of your words or your blog or what you tweet for you never know who will be reading it and when.

  8. Tammy August 18, 2012 at 9:50 am #

    So glad I found you on twitter! Finally in all of this fandom confusion,ive found someone I can truly feel good about! Thank you! TAMMY

    • KJ August 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

      Hi Tammy! Thank you for peeking in and hanging around to leave kind words. It is confusing out there, I know, but I assure you I’m here, have been here for years, and don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. There are too many wonderful topics of discussion and so many celebratory moments ahead of us to walk away now! Thank YOU for stopping in! xo, KJ

  9. Rain August 18, 2012 at 8:45 am #

    As always, your words make my head feel better 🙂 Thank you for being so open and so forthcoming. I’m glad there are women like you and Stewie in the world to keep my Raindrop on the road of independent other and inner happiness. We all need good role models, human models. We’re all human, we all err, we all make mistakes and stumble. The role model part comes in when we have to pick ourselves up, not how prettily we stand on the pedestal. It doesn’t matter how beautiful, talented, intelligent, and funny we may be, when we’re down, the grace in which we pick ourselves up, the humility we show, the forgiveness we give, that is how we show the world we are worthy. ❤ I am glad for you, glad to have you, as a part of this world, KJ. I'll always be here to celebrate the love and lovely all around us. Be well.

  10. Mon August 18, 2012 at 8:37 am #

    Really glad you’re staying. You can’t imagine my heartbreak seeing fansites closed down. Fair weather fans they are. All along they gushed how genuine, human, free-spirited Kristen is, and yet, once they found out she isn’t “perfect” and is capable making mistakes like a human being does. They adandoned her like dumping garbage. So disappointing.

  11. nail August 18, 2012 at 2:37 am #

    the best decision i’ve made during this entire *scandal* is to not look at a single pic …’s so much calmer in my head because of that….like every pic/article written in tabloids the truth is rarely present so why would it be in this case?…..i was shocked at how quickly fans rushed to judgement and hung onto every word written as fact…….i still am… that use to be levelheaded took every account of reactions/statements/ even feelings as truth… my question is ..where did all of our BS detectors go?..and would they have been set aside if the lineup had been diffferent in the scandal with the female being the victim?….or would it had been different if *Bella* had not cheated on *Edward*? 4 weeks later i’m still glad i didn’t look at those pics…i didn’t need to…like Kai said..a 22 yr old young woman made a mistake…she dared to be human.

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