Redefining Beautiful: Resilience, Kristen & Eeeby Everywhere

29 Nov
A/N:  Images displayed for this post are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam & Pinterest.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image to link to its origins. Pre-read by a luminous team of Rebel Beauties, headed by @deedreamer16 and @just2cusmile. So if you catch any remaining bobbles, they belong to ME.

It isn’t easy finding footing, once we’ve tumbled, as scores of us can attest. It is those who have fumbled and fallen to whom I gravitate, seeking validation and wisdom. It has been over three months since I’ve mused, and the ache in this knowledge is ineffable. Hello, my Royal Rebels and Majestic Misfits. After weeks of contemplation and more than a few entanglements with heartbreak, the flu, false starts and deletions, I’ve finally found myself ensconced in the sanctuary that is Musings again.

To Return

I have returned anew. I have cultivated and maintained this space for over two years and have been enriched in ways I never believed possible. Over the course of Musings’ evolution I’ve encountered kindness, compassion, wicked wit, cleverness, warmth and sheer intellectual genius in the form of you lovely Readers and Rebellious Beauties. I’ve also recognized that MOO’s original concept has emerged, expanded and naturally concluded. And while I considered wrapping up thoughts and archiving this ‘blog’ I have decided instead on another route.

In the end, after hashing it out with some of my dearest, I’ll continue to muse aloud, seeking more ways of Othering onward,  hopefully for the benefit of someone. ‘Someone’ might mean the few of you who read these ramblings, or clients, or folks in the Kristen/Robert/Twilight community, or fellow Others… maybe you, maybe me.

I think this new incarnation is even more faithful and congruent with Musings’ original mission to redefine beauty, honor the unconventional and ultimately expunge vitriolic judgment.  I will continue to applaud and highlight Royal Rebels in our midst and celebrate any Royally Rebellious gesture that our Reigning Queen Kristen Stewart produces, but we’re going global, guise. We’re going to take the spark that Ms Stewart and fellow Others ignited and blaze a bigger, brighter trail. I hope you decide to accompany me on the next leg of the journey.

Anthology of Otherness

So what did I do? I turned to the most brilliant people I know (that means YOU) and presented a question:

What does ‘Other’ mean to you? 

I asked a few of my CyberSisters, my Team Other Co-Captains, my friends from the MOO and @KSIBTU community to send in words, pictures, ideas, phrases and music that defines and illustrates their conceptualization of Otherness, Unconventional Beauty, and Royal Rebellion, across all realms: Kristen and Rob-influenced or not; 3D life, 2D life, or otherwise.

And the genius began rolling in. It occurred to me: I need to compile these new definitions into an index –an encyclopedia, if you will. To share. To refer to when feeling directionless, uncertain. 

I realize I was already kinda doing this the previous two years of Musings, what with Featured Royal Rebels and Stew Reviews, but you all know how I struggle with the ability to be succinct and contained. Also, in this forum, we’re interacting collaboratively, not with me just blah blah blabbbbbing AT you. Come on. You know one core principle guiding Royal Rebels:  Sharing is caring. 

So… below, are the inaugural entries for our Otherness Anthology. Please. Please give a warm welcome to the absurdly talented  [and aesthetically pleasing] poetic princesses: @buff_82 and @kate_suena.

Buff is up first, Katie’s definition follows, and then I wrap up the essay with my own contribution.

So… Buff: She’s the designer of both Musings’ and KSIBTU’s banners and themes over the years. She also is webmaster for my private practice’s site…and on top of it all, she’s mother to beautiful offspring, and a deft wordsmith in her own right. I am so pleased to call her my friend.

Katie, my beautiful soul sister, writes words that make me weep. Her odes to books (you follow her blog LostInABookSomewhere right? If not, what are you WAITING for???) and stories and travel make me soar and I am a better person for knowing her.

Definition: Fearless

Fearless, adjective.  One foot in front of the other. Never stop, never waver, push on because you are sure of one thing–yourself.

Definition: Embrace

Embrace, verb. “Live the life you’ve imagined” 

When KJ first introduced the idea of definitions for an “Encyclopedia of Other,” this was the word that immediately was at the forefront of my mind. It pertains to all the areas of Other that I can fathom – and of course the overarching idea of Otherness itself.

To embrace means to transcend past simply “existing” to actively exploring/loving/living/changing/growing. The beauty of this concept is that a person can embrace Other and everything it represents in whichever way they choose; there’s a sense of freedom and security simultaneously.

Shedding inhibitions that previously affected the way in which you faced a situation and decided to go with your gut – this is key to embracing what life is all about. It could be as small as varying from the norm when it comes to choosing your next meal, and therefore exposing yourself to a new and exciting culture. Or, it could be big. It could be more profound than you ever imagined – like taking that first step towards pursuing a new career (or life) goal.

The magnitude of what one embraces isn’t the important part, it’s that the action is happening, period.

Plus, I must admit that I’m quite fond of hugs, so this definition fit snugly with that as well. That feeling of being wrapped up with love and warmth is a pretty damn good one, wouldn’t you say? <33 ~Kate

 Definition: Resilient

Resilient, adjective.  Encompassing strength, grace and courage to push through adversity. I am worth this. I will do this. I will return.

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen

For this first post, defining resilience for The Anthology of Otherness, no words can properly illustrate Kristen Stewart’s spellbinding emergence over the past four months. Simply absorb the majesty.


Royal Rebels Among Us: Eeeby

My dear friend Eeeby (her nickname is the phonetic, Australian pronunciation of her online handle) and I met a few years ago. Through this community, this chaotic, addictive, omniscient fandom of ours. Vivacious, scintillating, and eloquent she is. A single mother of two teenage boys, Eeeby was a constant force of nature, all mouthy and bold. 

So Eeeby had herself a rough year, but perhaps above all, she had the most harrowing summer and fall of her life these months. I’d venture to say she’s had the most harrowing time of anyone’s life. 

In June the Colorado Springs wildfires roared through her neighborhood, forcing her and her two teenage sons to evacuate their home, bringing only the possessions that would fit in  their car with them . They stayed four nights outside their home, taking shelter at a friend’s, away from the destruction. June 29th, Eeeby and her boys were permitted to return to their home, which blessedly, was undamaged, save for smoke saturation. Such gratitude they felt for having their home spared. Early morning on June 30th, Eeeby discovered that her newly-turned 18 year old son died in the hours following his exchange of grateful goodnight hugs with his mother.

The anguish I felt in my heart when I received the news of Cole’s passing could not be soothed. I was teaching a Psychological First Aid course for Red Cross on this bleak Saturday,  and I found that the techniques I taught earlier in the day needed to be implemented for myself that evening. My CyberSisters came together in the most phenomenal way, from around the world. We joined together in candlelight vigils, prayer chains, regardless of differing religious backgrounds.

I found myself delving into my own religion, at my piano. I was compelled to follow an aching melody floating around my head. I pushed ‘record’ on my iPhone in a last-minute decision to contain it, and maybe share it with Eeeby as a wordless expression of my grief and a declaration of my love for her and her family. I couldn’t get to Colorado, though I offered. But I could quiet myself long enough to let the lullaby emerge, and all I knew in a moment, was that Cole was with me, speaking to me, communicating with Eeeby and his little brother L. Even if I didn’t get the chance to physically be near or speak to Eeeby for a period of time, she would know she was surrounded. 

Cole’s Lullaby

A few nights later, I received a text as I was about to walk into a movie theater to see The Amazing Spiderman with N. It was from Eeeby. She thanked me for the composition and asked my permission to use it for Cole’s memorial service the following week. And as I burst into blubbering tears in that movie theater lobby, I let her know YES YES YES I would be honored if she used that little spur-of-the-moment piano ditty to celebrate her Cole. It wasn’t mine to grant. I told her it was hers, hers, hers. Never mine. She sent some sparkling, lovely reply back, and I cried harder more out of awe for my friend who despite her anguish, found a way to remain, as always, here… and so very her. 

Which is even more inspiring to witness since Eeeby was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in September. But she’ll be damned if she doesn’t look good while fighting it. Check her shoes below. The night before her surgery  (a double mastecomy with a radical mastecomy on the right side to remove lymph nodes), she packed lipstick and her makeup in her overnight bag . She attempted to bring along her heels, but the hospital staff quenched that urge real quick, much to Eeeby’s dismay. 

Upon hearing news of her diagnosis, Eeeby joined CaringBridge, an online support site to stay connected to family and friends while on her journey towards wellness. She also joined to make sure she stays connected to who she is especially while feeling the effects of chemo (which she’ll begin next week); the storm of emotions, the hellacious physical discomfort. Her journal entries filled with curse words, requests for coffee and acute observations on humanity’s mysteries, make my life. 

Though she hasn’t the ability to fully lift her arms, and she takes measured, languid steps when she walks, my friend Eeeby clocked in 9 hours of Black Friday shopping Nov 23rd, and she offered to pummel my husband who has been behaving slightly [read: alarmingly] off-color as of late. Now THAT is a fierce, fearless, Rebel Queen who is willing to embrace Otherness, if you ask me.

If you would like to connect up with Eeeby through CaringBridge, to share your own stories of resilience and Black Friday steals, come talk to me. I’ll hook you up. I have no reservations about showering upon my friend the praise and affirmation every day that she is an Other Queen in every sense. . . she is and remains in the company of my very favorite embodiments of grace, beauty and resilience. 

Redefining Beautiful

Sooooo. This is the New MOO. It is an evolving, fluid, collaborative effort to redefine the antiquated ideas of “beauty”. To create, identify and celebrate the unconventional, the unusual, the inspiring ideas and the people who embody the pioneering spirit of Otherness. Every essay won’t be this long, or this loquacious. I may just publish a series of pictures or videos on a random day with no commentary.  I’ve definitions tumbling in courtesy of your brilliant minds, and this is just the beginning… In the next month or so, I expect to be flooded. 

I look forward to our adventures together, Lovelies.

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others create their own definitions of beauty.

Embrace Your Other.

* * *

A/N: Talk to me. How are you? Are you already conjuring up your own vocabulary words to contribute to The Others’ Anthology? How do you see “Embrace”, “Fearless” and “Resilience” manifest in your own life?

Thank you…… Kate, Iris, Buff and DeeDreamer16 for holding my shaking hands as I trip and stumble through my own return to posting.

Thank you to all of you folks on twitter and facebook who say really, really nice things to me.

So much love to: Bouffant, robkris13, Mel452, r_boncoeur, punkybellyjelly, j_carroll7, alotmoreofmagic, cynicallyconvy, Aaiposs, JaiPoss, Nai, lmrg1122, TrueLove, bellsy-bai, cheermom, randommama, Mari-Pai, every single one of my Cybersisters/Readers, my sister Puss, mycleveralias, drowninit, and iampancakes (thanks for the ride, beautiful!)

21 Responses to “Redefining Beautiful: Resilience, Kristen & Eeeby Everywhere”

  1. bby" December 1, 2012 at 9:09 am #

    Ahh beautiful musing, thank you KJ😊

  2. hopesecho (@hopesecho) December 1, 2012 at 8:21 am #

    All I can think is, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad Eeeby & you connected and became friends. This puts in to prospective all the little drama you go through means nothing compared to what others may be going through. We are so blessed to have you & I am so glad you you will continue to be here. You are here for a reason! You let us know that others have problems, some much bigger than our own. I see on twitter most of the time how great life seems for everyone, as I am sure they just post the good things that are happening with their lives and sometimes I will think why is my life not so perfect? But everyone has problems some, unthinkable as Eeeby has had. You give us comfort, inspiration & love. Eeeby will be in my prayers. Thank You for all you do, and for staying with us….. You are needed!

  3. Misty November 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm #

    Glad to see you back and to read these lovely words. I probably say this all the time but I love this blog and place of positivity. Each time your words inspire me to reflect and evaluate. The first word that popped into my head on “otherness” after reading this is Forward. Just keep moving forward. Allow yourself a time to reflect and heal but never let it stop you from progressing.
    Thanks for sharing Eeeby’s story, very inspirational

  4. Joana (@dizzy_ladybug) November 30, 2012 at 12:02 pm #

    Oh how I missed these words… Few things make me this emotional and ready to take the reins of my life as a MOO post.

    I am trying my hardest to resiliently embrace my fearless side! (See what I did there?) It’s not a daily occurrence, heck it!, sometimes it’s not a monthly one but…trying I am!

    This year has been absolute torture on so many aspects of mine and others lives I can’t scarcely believe it! Maybe the Mayans really were right, we are about to kick an old cycle in the butt and beginning anew-ish. At least that’s how I’m choosing to view it! How New Age-ish of me, right?

    I guess what I mean with all this rambling is: I love you and your words, I missed MOO and your gorgeous posts filled with inspirations and aspirations…and I’m not going anywhere. I’m sticking with you and MOO and we’re all going to be better for it!

    Sending ALL the healing healthy vibes to Eeby, we’ve been fighting a cancer battle on this side of the ocean too and got some really positive news last week, so I might have some to spare!

  5. alotmoreofmagic November 30, 2012 at 11:51 am #

    I cannot play much, but music to me is not a hobby, it is something I surround myself with every single day. Reach for when I am happy, sad, joyful, mourning, need comforting or just because. The first time I heard your song I teared up and immediately wished I could put it in my ipod under my comforting playlist. I did not know the story then of your amazing friend. That is one more reason I could not post this morning, because I was tearing up again, first at her amazing story and then at how this song came to be.

    The best gifts are those that come from the heart, gifts we give of ourselves. Many people can learn to play music, But KJ, you created something that comforted someone in their lowest moments, that can be reached for over and over again. Few people can do that. That is what music is all about to me and that is why I revere people who have the ability to do so. I am simply in awe of you.

    I send Eeeby all the love and good thoughts I can muster. I am just in awe of her as well.

    As for resilience, fearlessness and embracing that other part of me, I am a bit of a quote whore. I fill journals with quotes and thoughts. Music is always a good one. My favorite song is ‘Show must go on’ by Queen (the Freddy Mercury version). I always think of the circumstances when he sang the song and cannot but be inspired. is a good one too. Hearing ‘Still I Rise’ narrated by Dr.Maya Angelou herself.

    But most of all, I think resilience is just putting one foot forward at a time, recognizing that the only thing you have control over sometimes is your reaction, you will learn from your mistakes, not let them or others define you.

    This has turned into a ramble and a little book, but before I end just wanted to say this. The majority of the people and voices in this fandom from around the world I have encountered are kind and good. But sometimes the loudest are the negative voices. In that space, your gentle voice, wisdom, immense talent with words and way of looking at the world are needed.

    I will always be grateful to technology and this fandom for letting me meet you, Kate, MCA, Mel and so many other people I might never had a chance otherwise.

  6. LCMom November 30, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    Gah… what is the meaning of life, you know? The petty negatives the bring us down are nothing to the REALLY negative things that can happen at any time. A beautiful post.. from a beautiful, talented lady. My Anthology word is ‘Focus’. In the beginning, we Others have an immature focus. Too broad, trying to fit ourselves into too many impossible pigeon holes. However as we grow, the focus is honed, seasoned. We see our strengths more clearly, our place clearly. And we realize, its good.

    xo K


  7. awebb November 30, 2012 at 7:47 am #

    So, so, so lovely! All my love to you, sweet KJ, and to dear Eeeby too!!!!!!


    ❤ ❤ ❤

  8. fluffy meowington. (@ItsAlwaysEmma) November 30, 2012 at 7:16 am #

    I’m positively lit up from the inside to see you back again …. you and your wonderful words bring so much joy. Of all the things you talked about this post, RESILIENCE is what resonated the most with me. My husband is in the Middle East for the next six months, and I feel like I’m living my life from moment to moment right now. Everyday I try to harness the energy and inspiration to WITHSTAND the negativity and sadness threatening to overwhelm.

    I’ve been searching for encouragement in different places, and this quote really resonated: “The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.” – Robert Jordan

    I will try to be the willow, and bend and move with the changes and the hardships and the emotions rather than fight them.

  9. MissEE November 30, 2012 at 5:47 am #

    Ok, now I am really crying! Beautiful words and eeby’s story relived is so achingly inspirational. I know that I can really use this to move myself into this holiday season and beyond. Thanks for always being there for me, and for always being YOU, my Doc.

  10. Karla November 30, 2012 at 4:44 am #

    What beautiful Musing K!!!
    Eeeby my thoughts and prayers are with you.


  11. Matt November 30, 2012 at 3:38 am #

    Tears. Sitting alone in front of a computer screen with tears running down my face. KJ, you always reach something in me and I am always grateful. My thoughts go out to Eeeby as she continues her fight. Life can demand so much from us at times, but it pays back equally to what we put into it.

    That pic of Kristen as she literally stepped back into the glare of her public life reminds me of the strength we all must have to overcome our foibles and find our true path. And the warmth of the embrace she received from her fans that night showed the value of her effort.

    Buff and Kate, you guys are such true and wonderful sisters to KJ. Your thoughts show what genuinely lovely people you are. Thank you.

    I am so happy to know that MOO will continue. I always gain insight and experience true emotion when I come here. Peace.

  12. Kate (@kate_suena) November 29, 2012 at 11:41 pm #

    Thank you so much for letting me be a part of this unique, treasured, important space, ma belle. It means more to me than you know, as do your eloquent musings. Big things are in your future and I can’t wait to experience them alongside you! It’s going to be magical, I just know it. Your genuinely kind heart and passionate soul need to be seen by the WORLD, and so they will. I love you more than city lights (and City Lights) and Jack Kerouacs and midnight drives – but I can’t wait to do all of those things WITH you again. SOON. xx

    P.S. Eeeby is in my thoughts and prayers. Fuck cancer. She’s got this. ❤

  13. Mari-Pai November 29, 2012 at 10:13 pm #

    So much talent, so much love, thank you for creating this outlet that is a window to your soul and let us see once again the beautiful human being that you are. I am so honored to be amongst your friends. And Eebby has my daily thoughts, prayers and admiration. I feel so helpless when it comes to her and Luke, I want to give them everything and it is so little I am actually capable of.

  14. SP November 29, 2012 at 10:03 pm #

    Last thing I’m gonna do tonight, before going to bed glad to have read your words.The depth that’s contained here, I’m amazed. I’m inundated. I’m a new visitor to your special place. Definitely coming back for more.

    • Mari-Pai November 29, 2012 at 10:15 pm #

      There is nothing in the cyberworld like MOO, it is definitely a good place to be and plant roots.

  15. K75 November 29, 2012 at 9:22 pm #

    There are no words, just an ache in my heart Thank you!

  16. Cheermom November 29, 2012 at 9:11 pm #

    Welcome back! You have been missed!!! What a beautiful musings. I am in tears. I’m still blown away by your musical talent…and channeling of Cole that day to create that beautiful song. Choosing Eeeby as your Royal Rebel could not be more fitting. No one should ever have to endure what she has in a lifetime, let alone a few months. She is fighting HER way…which puts her at the top of the rebel list….with her high heels on…lipstick applied…and quick wit intact. We’re all fighting with you Eeeby!!!! I’m forever blessed to have her in my life…and the rest of my cyber sisters…whom without the help of a certain book series and the reigning Queen of Other…I may never have had the privilege of knowing. We may have met unconventionally…but it’s what makes us all other. Love you!

  17. Mel452 November 29, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

    I heart you muchly, darl. Your words are always an inspiration. Am blessed that I got to spend some time with you THIS month in person in “Bella’s Land” (my play on words from ‘Bella Terra’ but fitting in all contexts). Lots of love to you too! So glad you are back and stronger then ever…with more inspiring and gorgeous “Others” alongside you. xxx

  18. India Mom November 29, 2012 at 9:07 pm #

    Ah this was beautiful. Brought me to tears. Our Eeeby is so inspirational as are you KJ. Thank you for this.

  19. Lisa November 29, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

    That was beautiful KJ HUGS to you and Eeeby, Love you girls so much

  20. KcKarasti November 29, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    Welcome back dude!!! Your time away did you well; this post is amazing! You have such an amazing way with words and I am so looking forward to more of the awesomness that is you! ❤

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