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Redefining Beautiful: Courage for Authenticity and [Com]passion

24 Jan
A/N:  Images displayed for this post are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam & Pinterest. No copyright infringement intended. Click the image to link to its origins. Playlist is working again (it’s probably playing RIGHT now)! Musical inspirations listed at the bottom of post. To open the player in a new window, clickity-click here—> http://pl.st/p/20984139787 Pre-read by a luminous team of Rebel Beauties, led tonight by @kate_suena . If you catch any remaining bobbles, they belong to ME.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is that quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow.'”

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HAPPY NEW YEAR, my Rebellious Beauties! It is my pleasure to skip vivaciously into 2013 bearing a couple more definitions for our Anthology of Otherness. I must tell you…well, no, I can’t even begin to articulate how stunned and honored I was at your responses to the last [first?] new Musings. 

In the comment section, on Twitter, Facebook and through emails, you showered the kindest and the most exquisite definitions and responses upon me, all in the name of my Royal friend Eeeby, and New Beauty, of Reigning Other Queen Kristen Stewart, and of #Otherness. I humbly bow down to you. Your warm welcome compels me to keep going and continue this… even while things have been especially challenging. . . 

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So let me introduce you to the contributing definers featured in tonight’s MOO. My friend Dee (@DeeDreamer16) is an OG Muser. Legit. I mean, I think she commented on the very first Musings ever written, two and a half years ago. A sage, articulate and thoughtful kind of gal, Dee is, and we connected almost instantly, through the magic that is the world wide web. Over the years as we bonded over our love of Kristen’s unrelenting badassery, Robert’s increasingly open admiration of aforementioned badassery, and the sweet seduction of the written word (fanfic and otherwise); Dee became a consistent, loving force in my life. She is a supremely gifted writer and has been unfailingly kind and supportive of me personally (read: she has listened to me sob into her ear via phone…several times) and in our celebration of Kristen and Otherness. I am honored that she felt inspired to have a hand in The Otherness Anthology. Annnnd I may or may not have highlighted passages that resonated with me all of it. every dang word. But above all, I count my lucky stars that she is one Majestic Misfit whom I call friend. 

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Definition: Authenticity

~DeeDreamer

Authentic, adjective. True to one’s own personality, spirit or character. Not false or imitation. Worthy of acceptance. 

“This above all: to thine own self be true.”  ~ Hamlet

When KJ first presented the idea for her Anthology to me, I immediately gravitated toward wanting to expound on authenticity. What does it mean to be authentic in this modern age of digital anonymity and online personae which may or may not accurately reflect the true character of the person behind each screen name? This question, especially after jumping into the Twilight/Rob/Kristen fandom four years ago, confounds me. In preparing the definition for this term, its true meaning in terms of Other nearly screamed at me: worthy.

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Aren’t we all worthy of acceptance? Don’t each of us deserve to live our lives without judgment from others, especially from people whom we don’t know? I think that’s the essence of being a beautiful person — knowing how to reserve our own commentary, teaching ourselves to put the filmstrips of judgment residing in our minds away on some dusty, back shelf of our brains so we can transcend. If we subscribe to this mantra and follow our hearts, we win — even when we are too blinded to realize it.

DeeDef-Authenticity

I was too blind to realize it back in high school. Looking back even now, with so many years separating me from that girl I was, I still don’t really “feel” like I won at anything. In fact, back then I’d have argued that I was pretty much losing — as in being a total LOSER! — at least in terms of things like popularity and cool friends/boyfriends/parties/whatever. I made a lot of… unpopular choices. I removed myself from what my peers were doing socially because I never — not once — could make myself comfortable doing the things typical high school kids did. I didn’t want to be seen as a priss, and I certainly wasn’t doing anything to stop others from having their fun, but I just felt… Other. It made for some lonely days. Not gonna lie. 

No Other like U~tumblr_lygts1lxzy1qbpwzeo1_500

But then my senior year came to a close, and yearbooks were delivered. I flipped through mine and saw a gorgeous, half-page ad in the back that my parents, brother, and sister had taken out for me, proclaiming their pride, love and support. Along with their words, my mother had included my (still to this day) favorite Shakespeare quote. Reading it there in black and white, for everyone to see next to my senior picture, was somehow utterly affirming. 

DeeDefAuthenticity-ThineOwn

Scholars can argue Polonius’ meaning as he spoke these words, but to me, as an impressionable teenager, the words sang to me, echoing through my limbs. They were a calming salve on the raw wounds of teenage life, and I ensconced them in bubble wrap and kept them safely cradled to my heart. They gave me strength to stand by my beliefs. They gave me permission to be my authentic self. They gave me the confidence I sorely lacked and assured me that, indeed, I was worthy… just the way I was. Nowadays, so many years later… if I had an “Other” button, I’d wear it proudly. Even through the halls of my high school. (Hint, hint, KJ.) 😉 ~Dee

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So I guess I should pull out my old button-maker and while I’m at it, fire up the T-Shirt making process too?  It has been awhile since my last T-Shirt giveaway…See what I mean about Dee? Brilliant and so kind and spot on. 

You all, I’m pretty sure, have encountered the genius and gentleness that is my Katie (@kate_suena), the second contributor to tonight’s collection of pristine terms and definitions. She of course, has authored several gorgeous essays for @KSIBTU, and she is the scribe behind the sublime Lost In A Book Somewhere  (have you visited yet? If not, GOOOO); but she also is the biggest Other Anthology Supporter.  She was apart of the commencement post with a stunning definition of her own; she was the first of my friends to donate her words. Well…she’s back, y’all. Again, I may have highlighted bits that knocked my socks off…Have a seat and prepare to be inspired. 

Definition: [Com]passion

~Kate

[Com]Passion, noun. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” 

I sometimes feel as if compassion is an endangered quality. Especially in “Girl World,” where for whatever reason, some find it easier to focus on the negative and relentlessly tear things apart and each other down.

~DefyConvention tumblr_lvxqgyUreg1qai6hpo1_500

But then there are those who are OTHER. They bring a refreshing change of pace to this antagonism. I see PASSION as a key part of compassion; if one feels ardently about something, or someone, this is reflected in the compassion they display.

By consistently recognising Other in the world, our view allows us to be aware of what is important and react accordingly, simultaneously disregarding frivolous non-concerns

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A tangible, important example that springs to mind is the response to the havoc that Hurricane Sandy wreaked. I find witnessing Mother Nature unleash her fury terrifying; there’s a sense of hopelessness as you watch natural events unfold (and I’ve never even experienced any such destruction firsthand!). But in the days following the storm, I saw an online show on compassion that restored the hope that Mother Nature had temporarily interrupted: one person donated to the Red Cross and ignited a spark.

sparkler

Soon my Twitter and Instagram feeds were FULL of people sharing how they were donating and therefore helping those thousands of miles away from them, subsequently encouraging [O]thers to do so as well. These compassionate people from all over the United States and around the WORLD were doing their part to assist people they had never even met.  

How beautiful is that? Queens of Other and Royal Rebels are unbeatable proof that caring and compassion are alive and well in this world. ~Kate 

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Definition: Courageous

~KJ

Courageous, adjective. Daring, steadfast, unswerving. I am frightened but I am unfaltering.

“Freedom lies in being bold.”
~ Robert Frost

Over the past six months, I have seen courage manifest in the most awe-inspiring of situations, and in gloriously royal people. After a hellacious summer, Our Reinging Other Queen Kristen proved her resilience and fortitude by stepping into the relentless spotlight and unblinking camera lenses to dialogue about a project of great personal significance to her. Despite the countless glaring gazes fixed upon her, and the judgments, diagnoses already conjured and proclaimed, Ms Stewart remained poised, and throughout even while vulnerable and exposed .

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So, she persisted. She moved onward (in perfect shoes).

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These days, I have been struggling to find my own valor… I realize the work I’m doing at my counseling agency and with The Red Cross has depleted my abilities to regenerate and provide compassion for my own weariness. My personal relationships are suffering severely and my physical body is run down. I know that getting out the door each day in the morning is an act of courage in itself, when all I want to do is huddle in a dark corner and weep. But I do climb out of bed and push through the door, regardless.

Now, that is little ole ME lamenting on the copious reserves of bravery I’m trying to locate within myself.

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I do not have swarms of vultures toting cameras circling outside my house, stalking. I do not have warring factions of “superfans” determining my worth based on a self-made (read: absurdly skewed) psychological theory touted all over Twitter.

But Kristen Stewart does. 

And excepting when she’s in SuperStealthNinja Mode, Kristen still. shows. UP. And she’s all beautiful and brainy and breathtakingly articulate when she arrives.

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Other Emerging

I believe it takes a tremendous amount of courage to be authentic and [com]passionate. As both Dee and Katie illustrated earlier, it is not the easiest of decisions to represent an idea or image that deviates from the conventional schemata. I have watched, awed, by Ms Stewart’s ability to remain congruent and grounded, even in the midst of extreme, incomparable challenges…It is why she is, after all these years, Queen Royal Rebel. She wears the shiniest crown.

Norman's Cloud Break

courtesy of (c)KinoPhotography

Soooo these are the newest definitions to catalogue in our expanding Anthology of Otherness. Thank you for rolling with me into this new year. Thank you for sending in your most incredible ideas and thoughts on what “Other” means for you. I will try and feature every contribution I receive, even–especially–those left in the comment section and emails. I maintain always that Musings’ readers are the most incandescent of souls. You continuously, wonderfully, confirm this.

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We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others are freed by their bold, [com]passionate authenticity.

Embrace Your Other.

*   *   *

QUESTION[s]: How has your relationship with authenticity, [com]passion and courage evolved over the year? How did you greet the new year?

A/N: Next time, which will hopefully be within just a few days, I will bring a few more essays to you. I’m pleased to tell you that the lovely Emma (@ItsAlwaysEmma) has contributed a definition to the Anthology that makes me weak in the knees…and the voraciously brilliant and funny CC of @KSIBTU and I are collaborating on a conversation about On The Road and #TheMadOnes that I am dying to delve into with you all.

* * *

Thank you, Katie. Thank you, Dee. Thank you Eeeby. Thank you @r_boncoeur.

CynicallyConvy and BeammeUp_00 check in on me regularly and I am beyond grateful for their thoughtfulness.

SOOO many pictures found on the tumblr so perfectly named: QueenKristen: http://queenkristen.tumblr.com/archive/2012/10

Playlist

Blue Skies ~ Noah and the Whale

Born Secular ~ Jenny Lewis (feat. The Watson Twins)

Til Kingdom Come ~ Coldplay

Muselet: New Day

18 Aug
A/N:  Images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam, and Pinterest.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image for a link to its origins. Totally unbeta’d, so any mistakes and stumbles are mine, allll mine. This is only a shorty, but of course there is a playlist. Click here to open a new page & listen——>(http://pl.st/p/20984139787)

Here comes the sun

Hello, Lovelies. Long time no musings, I know. Those of you who have been my journey mates these past two-plus years understand that any silence from this site is not indication of similar silence experienced by it’s author. I have been musing. Oh, how I’ve been tumbling through and under and over and every which way through the contemplative immensity these past four, [five?] weeks. It’s a matter of reining it in and sharing the ramblings in a cohesive manner. Clearly, as I’ve proven time and time again, my challenge is succinctness. 

….Since brevity is the soul of wit ~ Shakespeare

When I decided on a whim to post this little ditty, the clock was twenty minutes shy of switching over to “00:00”, proclaiming a new day; one, as Anne Shirley [an early Other herself, as she dreams from her house of Green Gables] jubilantly reminds us contains “no mistakes in it yet”. It has now grown five minutes past midnight. I only wanted to post a little heads-up. To let you know that Musings is coming atcha this weekend whether you are ready or not. I wanted you to know that I. Am. Here. I never left. 

I was inspired to return to this WordPress Wonderland of Otherness for many reasons: because I needed to; because I wanted to; because I have so many words in my head and love in my heart I feared I may implode. Also, because I feel The Shift. The clouds are easing up slightly allowing for precious, nourishing slivers of light to illuminate the sky, warm our faces. 

Also, I never had the chance to properly celebrate Musings’ two year anniversary and I simply cannot let much more time elapse without writing about this glorious, shattering, profound year. And to not acknowledge that is just WRONG. This year has been everything. And the past two months in particular have simply changed the game.  

So I’m writing the celebratory MOO post that I had planned for weeks ago. This was before July 17, before my husband and I made some pretty intense decisions which lends to why we’re today, quite literally, separated by a world;  before I became involved in three funerals, before I made an unexpected but most cathartic return to composing music and finding long-forgotten melodies within. 

I created this space over two years ago because I needed a forum to find my voice and connect with kindreds searching for theirs as well. I wanted to to do something to help dissuade the negativity and maybe do my small part in creating change that I wanted to see in the world around me. No time is more apt or essential than now. 

So I figure: Let’s pick up right where we left off. 

****From my July 31, 2012: Twitlonger

There is one simple, pure, and constant concept that has been a small measure of comfort to me this week. And that is this: nothing, nothing, nothing is black or white. Nothing involving human beings and their emotional capacity can be categorized so easily. There is a gray area. There is an essential consideration that is near and dear to MY heart– of OTHER. That idea that is indefinable, fluid and against simple explanation. Because there is ALWAYS more.

We do NOT know. There is a sequence of events, there are precipitating triggers, there are esoteric factors that we have no access to, and–here’s where it’s crucial to understand– It is not OUR right to access.

No where is there an Admiration Rulebook that states we retain [or deserve] the right to acquire personal, private details in ANYBODY’S lives, let alone regarding people we have never met. We were never invited into their relationship. In fact, Kristen and Rob did everything in their power to preserve and protect what is theirs. They both have countlessly reminded us that idolatry is unwarranted and in the long run, completely, utterly UNFAIR. To ourselves. To them. 

People have asked, begged, prompted me to say something all week, and while it is quite flattering to me that you, of such great, burgeoning minds, seek out my addled brain for guidance, there is another part of me that feels pressure.

Yes I’m a clinical psychotherapist. Yes, I Muse on empowerment and compassion and love. Yes, I am a supporter of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson: Together, separately, no matter. But I too am wading through stages of grief, loss, confusion. And sometimes, though this ‘twitlonger’ doesn’t reflect that, I am without words and direction too.

Two points I had hoped to make, before this spiraled out of control into a full-on Musings.

1) Musings On Other Queens–this ‘blog’– is not going anywhere. It never was ‘A Kristen Blog’ or ‘A Robsten [ugh, you KNOW how I detest that label] Blog’. It was a space I created so we could talk about the ways we can overcome labels, misconceptions and generalizations. A way to give voice to the underrepresented. It was intended for us to have a forum to encourage SELF-REFLECTION on how we can contribute to the lessening of stereotypes, possibly banishing the bullying and the hate-mongering.

I think we need that capacity more now than ever. And so no, MOO is not closing down or taking a hiatus other than it’s regular breathing schedule as I navigate my 3D life. And BOY is my 3D life colorful this month. Balance, babies, it’s all about balance.

This started it ALL. It aint stopping anytime soon, kiddos

2.) I honestly and soulfully believe that Kristen and Robert will move through this, in a way that is healing and right for Kristen and Robert. Not by our definitions or standards, but theirs. As it should be.

Also, any amount of processing and rehabilitation will take time. 

Sitting on Twitter, or watching entertainment ‘news’ channels obsessively is maybe the most damaging thing we could do right now. And I can say with utmost confidence and authority, that believing wholly in anything the “media” [tabs] churn out is a great disservice to … well, everything, everyone, including Kristen and Robert, the very people that bound us together in the very beginning.

In my twelve years in training as a professional listener…I have learned an open mind is the most compassionate and–most often–prevalent truth in the end. Compassion and support is what Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson need more than anything right now.

Be well and take care of yourselves. Cultivate all of your strengths and blessings in your everyday, tangible life. And while a young couple takes time to assess and evaluate their hopes, aspirations and paths, we can do the same.

See? We’re all rediscovering our humanity together.

In a letter I wrote to my CyberSisters a couple days ago, in the midst of my own personal anguish, I concluded:

“I want to tell you as a marriage and family therapist, that I see this devastation often. It happens. EVERY. DAY. In one form or another.

And, yes, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. the sun rises again and people-warriors make their way towards it’s warmth.

I have faith. I have so much faith.

So a 22 year old girl is human. She resides with the rest of us mortals. I am so happy for the company.”

I am so happy to be in your company.

****

See you this weekend for the commencement of celebrating Other? Yesssss. All my love and light… KJ

*    *    *

Playlist: 

http://pl.st/p/20984139787

Ho Hey ~ The Lumineers

Ashes and Wine ~ A Fine Frenzy

Breathe Again ~ Little People feat Rachael R

Hold On ~ Alabama Shakes

MOO Memo: Othering Onward

26 Jun
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam, Pinterest and my friend @LiveLoveKStew.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image for a link to its origins. Totally unbeta’d, so any mistakes and stumbles belong to Moi. Musical playlist, per usual, at the bottom and at this link–> (http://pl.st/p/20984139787) Click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO updates in your Email. You know, because my ‘updates’ come atcha all kinds of b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Hello, Lovelies. I KNOW. I know. It’s been criminally long, it’s been overwhelming, it’s been epic. As you can imagine, I am just as consumed and enamored as you are with all the incredible moments of Otherness and Rebellious Beauty that has been bestowed upon us in these weeks we’ve been apart. I disappeared for a ten day vacation last month which was nourishing and revitalizing in itself [and I met up with lovely souls in lovely places including @MyCleverAlias @Buff_82 and @Beammeup_00] and then the floodgates lifted and we were bombarded with blessings.

I’m on the pursuit of happiness, and I know 

Everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold

Hey, I’ll be fine once I get it, I’ll be good  ~Kid Cudi

I will attempt addressing these gifts in the next series of new Musings. Starting with today’s post, in the form of  a MOO Memo dedicated to three very special women in my life: @MyCleverAlias, @Nail and my gorgeous Bestie @SL. It’s just a primer-post, because I’m emerging from another vacuous lull in which my 3D life opened up a can of whoop-ass on me. And also, fact is, there were too many significant episodes we witnessed over these weeks and I didn’t want to leave anything out. Got a little stressful, y’know? 

And, lastly, it is now, JUNE,  that I am celebrating a major personal anniversary: MUSINGS ON OTHER QUEENS is TWO YEARS OLD!!! 

Remember when I pushed ‘Publish’ June 3, 2010, Remember???

I want to give proper accolades to this little ‘blog’ o’ mine… this space and community that has changed, no, revolutionized my life. And I really hope to express my utmost gratitude to the muse and original Queen of Other: Kristen Jaymes Stewart. If only she would grant us a moment to catch our breath…

MetGala Ball 2012

Graham Norton show

The three ladies I mentioned earlier are my muses today for a few reasons. Nail, because she always loves herself a juicy Muselet and she teaches me about succinctness and reframing and she counsels me on how to laugh at the atrocious, illogical theorizing of some of the Vultures/BullShitPeople/AssClowns out there in this community that peck away at my RebelRoyal-induced high.

VampBella showin us how it’s gon BE. #Boss

MyCleverAlias [or MCA as we know her ’round the hood] is an OG Musings reader, from over two years ago, who enchanted me with her intelligent, articulate comments on the website, and then her fair but informed observations on this community.  I also had the distinct privilege of spending nearly every day of one week with her last summer when she and my beloved @Kate_Suena visited my beautiful city–we’re approaching our Year Anniversary of that visit, Ladies!  Also, MCA has been gone for several weeks while traveling throughout South Africa [I know, swoooon], so I thought that a mini StewReview might be just what we thirsty fangirls need to replenish our souls.  [Note: Though it’s taken me so damn long to break through this block to write, she’s not only up to date already probably, but she could clue me in to a few things]

My favorite photo shoot with Kristen. Ever. ElleFrance. #HomageToIntoTheWild #ChangedEverything

My Bestie, who we’ll call @SL, is a muse in so many ways for me, but she inspires lately because a) I just saw her when I took my trip to the East Coast, for the first time in over five years and I wanted to weep when I thought about leaving her again b) She is ethereal–exotic– simply beautiful  and she has her fair share of experience defending her choices for OTHERNESS because of her physical attributes, but also for her unorthodox approach to life (i.e. she was sooo fucking punk rock and brilliant that people didn’t know how to approach such an intimidating beauty). Lastly, my lovely SL just recently discovered the sheer gravity of a book series known as Twilight and when I came to visit her in May, she was glued to her Kindle.  Her husband (another one of my best friends from college) bemoaned the loss of his wife. “Hey thanks for that, by the way,” he said to me, throwing vitriolic glances at SL’s otherwise occupied form (she was longingly gazing at her Kindle, where a bookmarked page in Eclipse awaited). 

we may know a little something about this series

Sooooo *motioning for you all to lean in again*….

Today’s MOO Memo is just a little roadmap of what is coming down the pike. I’ve been away for several weeks (and there are STORIES), MCA has been away (and there are STORIES), SL is new to the Twi-Kristen-Rob-RoyalRebel Community (at least in this kind of  forum, and we have gotta update her on our Otherness STORIES), and my girl Nail  certainly deserves a ‘let’ (anything shortened is automatically softer, cuter, more compelling, you see). Like a capelet a leaflet, and uh…a piglet.

This is what we know:

Kristen, our Reigning Queen of Otherness, has emerged as the Royalty that she is. This is her time. Since Musing last, our  most esteemed Majestic Misfit has shown up all over the planet [in record time, btw] in the name of promoting Snow White and the Huntsman,  all while appearing fresh, confident, stylish and proud. 

Shhhooooooes. And Sam’s dimples.

How absurdly beautiful is this cast???

via KStewartFans

It was during this round of interviews that our Reinging Other Queen eloquently and thoughtfully articulated her definitions of “beauty”…which, according to her MajesticMisftness, is composed of authenticity, compassion, and congruence. 

“BE YOURSELF, BABYDOLL.” ~Kristen Stewart

. . . and in an awe-inspiring episode of sublimity her world-gallivanting included an appearance at the prestigious Cannes Film Festival in representation for On The Road. 

future’s so bright…she’s gotta wear ’em

You’ll notice that these pictures are only little tastes of the magic that actually occurred at the time…this is merely a StewReview for my girls, and to dip my toe back in the posting pool. Summer’s Musings posting schedule is going to consist of in-depth reviews of many of these events… like the rousing success of SWATH. 

RoyalRebel in the hizzouse

Her stop by the MTV Awards, for what I see as the passing of the baton [Girlfriend’s got places to go, movies to produce, ok? Thxbai PopcornStatues]. . . 

She’s got this one, Rob.

The Magazine Covers and accompanying print interviews…Oh mah GAWD…Most of which (the ones I could get my paws on) will be apart of a nearly-weekly MOO GIVEAWAY. . . .

I tweeted last week–I can tell you all now, as I no longer work there–that for the past 8 months I was supplementing my income as a private practitioner with a lovely job as the children’s department lead at Barnes & Noble Bookstore. There were so many benefits, but the most important and coveted pro being my full and immediate access to the receiving boxes at the back of the store. That and being surrounded by words, words, magnificent words!!! In the picture below you’ll see tidbits of my life there: I found several inspirational guides–including a new feature for Summertime MOOs– and the sexiest bit of all: thesauri. 

The true Barnes & Noble Advantage

We absolutely will take time to review #SWATH, the film, together (I saw it three times. You?), and we’ll talk about the final countdown to Breaking Dawn part 2. You’ve seen the trailer, right? And you’ve picked up your traditional Entertainment Weekly I assume. MCA is a an absolute angel and is picking up a copy of it for me, and I was able to scrounge up a couple EWs with Edward, Bella, the cute Teeth Baby and the Shirtless Wonder on the front. They’ll be apart of the great MOO Magazine Giveaway too. 

many, many thoughts

We’ll talk a little bit about our progress in pursuing Bliss–you know I have a new job now, yes? I LOVE IT. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. It’s the job I wrote about, in last Musings.  where I somehow conjured up courage to apply, and now I’m doing everything I love about everything I’ve ever known and I’m helping teenagers and children and their families try to catch their breath and find their paths… and did I mention I lovelovelove it??? More about that next time.

But I’m so excited to share with you some other Blissful Plans that are emerging re: the Magical Little Practice [hint: we’re going global, Babies. Ain’t  gonna be so ‘little’ much longer], and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts about that. We’re still #OtheringOnward, my friends.

Ok, NO. I did not omit the most spellbinding, game-changing, heart-bursting jubilee that we witnessed…I am not forgetting about the extraordinarily profound  moments that coalesced at that prestigious little film festival in France. In fact….the next 2 (or 3?) new Musings are going to focus on that time period. Where everything came to be. Where everything…aligned. Where Marylou breathed life and love and spontaneity and went On the Road in search of the Elusive ‘It’ with a couple of her boys….

…Where the actress who portrayed Marylou in the film received a 5 [or 8 or 10?] minute standing ovation along with her co-stars and fellow filmmakers at said prestigious film premiere. Same place where the artist, Kristen Jaymes Stewart, was the recipient of accolades, praise and the best critical reviews of her entire illustrious career .

It was there, along the French Rivera that the lovely Ms Stewart–Her Majesty, as we refer to her here in #OtherLand–arrived on yet another red carpet premiere in support for a film starring one Mr Robert Pattinson…looking…well, looking like THIS:

So you can rest easy now, my loves. KNOW that we will address, cry a little,  discuss all the incredible events that occurred at Cannes. For both Kristen and for her equally beautiful partner in crime, fellow RoyalRebel, Robert. In fact…As I’ve stated before, we’re bringing back the FEATURED Royal Rebel highlight to Musings…and poetically, after two years of writing about these rebels, coming full circle, we’ll be talking  about him. Robert Pattinson. In depth. Because it’s time. It’s their time.

Welllllllll…MCA, Nai, SL…This is my catch-up post for you, for me, for Musings Readers. We have so many new adventures ahead, and a third year of Musings to explore, pursue, and celebrate. A whole lotta OTHERING ONWARD…so here…we …go. See you again real soon. Like, Thursday and this weekend…and ….and….xo, KJ

             *          *         *

QUESTION: What are you most excited to discuss among the events that our Reigning Other Queen participated in…? What are you looking forward to in this next year? Talk to me, lovelies.

Musical Playlist:

Pursuit of Happiness ~ Kid Cudi feat MGMT & Ratatat

Ho Hey ~ Lumineers

Free ~ Graffitti6

A Stew Review, and Stew Anew Pt III

23 Jan
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Pinterest and Google Images. Click the image for a link to pics’ origins. Very unbeta’d– any mistakes and typos in this post as well as my beautiful new beach cruiser [with gears!] belong to MEEEEEE. Musical playlist, per usual, at the bottom. While I work on regulating the posting schedule, click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO notifications in your Email…thissss-a-wayyy——>

“Do not fear going forward slowly. Fear only to stand still.” ~Chinese proverb

*Determinedly keeps eyes downcast, scuffs the toe of my Chucks in the ground*  Hi there. I truly had planned to post the Top Two Moments of The Stew Review last week, just a day or so after Part 2. I would love nothing more than to tell you all about the hoopla that contributed to the delay of posting. Maybe, when we message each other, or perhaps when I can rediscover coherency again, we’ll hash it out. But I don’t want to take any more time away from honoring and celebrating the way Kristen Stewart, our Ambassador of Other, brought the year 2011 to a close. And  you lovely, generous, patient Musers came through and submitted your thoughts on the Best Moments of Otherness for the Stew Review, for which I am eternally grateful. So let’s bring this one home, kids, yes? 

hells yeah

Ok, I know we’re missing Kristen and her devoted, lovely Robert. But my Goddess they deserve a break from the chaos that has been their life the past few months. And in the “drought” [is it really a drought, or a concept created by bored, too-invested people with few outside interests or fulfilling personal connections?] of Royal sightings, there has been a startling emergence of obscenely nutty, decidedly distant “family” members’ blogs, and a bazillion world-wide “sightings” cropping up every single hour… yawn. In other words…the usual dysfunction, I guess?

I feel it’s especially important  now to rein it in, guise. BACK.TO.THE.BASICS. What’s the use in expending energy on absurd rumors and theories when we can celebrate Unconventional Beauty and actual accomplishments amongst fellow Others and of a particularly majestic Queen?

oh yes. That's right.

A final retrospective of 2011 is essential now because we’re about to kick  Twenty-Twelve up a notch. Only a few weeks into January and already the sense of reverence and accomplishment convinces me that this year is going to be our Other Queen’s fiercest showing yet. I mean….really?

Since our last Musing session, the Spanish fashion line Balenciaga introduced the world to their new spokesmodel for their women’s fragrance . I think it is so pristinely apt that our edgy, provocative Royal Rebel was chosen as the ambassador for a line that is known for it’s cutting edge and unconventional expressions.

“Her [Kristen’s] elegant modernity and innate rebel style perfectly match with the spirit of Balenciaga.” 

~ Catherine Walsh of American Fragrance

Well, Catherine Walsh, Senior Vice President of American Fragrance for Cody Prestige, you have exquisite taste, Madame. I think the pairing of our Rebel Queen and the intriguing Balenciaga is extremely complementary. Pitch perfect, actually. What do you think of Ms Stewart’s newest gig, Lovelies?

There is something almost poetic about Kristen representing a highly influential fashion line for 2012, as she concludes her role as Isabella Swan Cullen in Breaking Dawn Part 2 within the same year . She ventured forward with first steps onto the Twilight premiere’s Red Carpet of 2008 wearing Balenciaga, after all…

In the beginning

Immortalized Impressions

Ms Stewart’s debut at the Los Angeles premiere of Twilight four years ago certainly made an impression. However, a literal impression made on November 3, 2011 at the famed Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood was Musings Readers’ second most celebrated Moment of Otherness for the 2011 MOO Stew Review. 

Now…this event was actually among my personal Top 3 Moments of Otherness as well. So I wasn’t terribly surprised that it was so high on your lists. You’ll need to tell me why this was such a significant event for you and in Kristen’s Timeline of BadAssery. I can only speak of my own ruminations as to why this hand-and-footprint concretization (does anyone else sorta laugh when it’s referred to as an Imprinting Ceremony??) ranked as an exceptional occasion…

S’been a long time, Baby.

Ms Stewart had been months-deep into filming Snow White and the Huntsman in the UK by this point. We hadn’t seen much of her except for those glorious film caps in which she was an armored, strategizing, warrior princess. 

It had been quite some time since we’d really seen Kristen…

Leeeegggggs

But in her Marios Schwab halter dress and Brian Atwood pin heels…we were smacked with a reminder real quick why just a glimpse of Kristen Stewart could be powerful enough to resuscitate the dead.

Buoyant Contentedness

I was struck by several notions when viewing the hand-printing ceremony via live stream and  in screen caps. She was unadulterated, unhindered, free. She was joy personified.

In a brief moment addressing the amorous crowd before sinking into the cement, Kristen said:

“I’ve been so enamored by this business, Hollywood…I think this is the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life!”

And later, after the ceremony in a whirlwind press junket, Kristen giddily recounted to several interviewers including the splendid @JoshuaHorowitz of MTV and Entertainment Weekly on how remarkably honored and awed she was by the experience. Her pride and grace and unhindered happiness seeped from her every pore. It was a sight to behold.

Satellites In Motion

So perhaps it was a combination of all the above: because it was such a momentous occasion, literally cementing her place in Hollywood Mythology; and because her proud friends and family were there; because she’d been away in London for months that a contented, beaming, buoyant Kristen Stewart greeted us this day. But also an unguarded, uncensored, more affectionately tactile Kristen Stewart was present. She and her buddy Taylor were as sibling-sweet as always, but it was the mutually admiring electricity between Ms Stewart and Mr Pattinson that once again, captivated.

. . .not even concrete could deny the draw between them.

must. always. be. close.

Authenticity and Congruency

So in her humble blissfulness and in light of the enormous honor bestowed upon her, our Reigning Queen did not lose her casual, grounded unique Kristen-ness on the sidewalk of that world-famous Hollywood landmark. No, instead, she quickly reeled herself in and allowed a sensibility to reside. And a new game of Spot The Rebel commenced. This may have been my favorite moment of all. Or. I dunno. I can’t pick. But the second Kristen looked to the ever-lovely Ruth for support while she removed her Brian Atwood Pin Heels to exchange them for her classic Vans…I swooned.

classic, checkered skateboarding Vans? Ruth's got yo back.

THIS event, my lovelies, was your second most celebrated Moment of Otherness for 2011’s Stew Review. The handprints, the foot prints, the giddy pride, the clasping of muddy hands…the moments of sheer adoration between Kristen and Robert…the moment when Ms Stewart tuned out the cameras and the crowds and the jetlag…and kicked off her couture heels in exchange for her flat Vans trainers.

Hey. I'm Kristen. I'm Other.

OH-kaaay…That was Moment Numero Dos. So I’ll wrap this baby up by Thursday, so we are free to rejoice the Royal Rebel awesomeness that we shall bear witness to starting this week…We’ve got a MovieFone interview with the SWATH Cast, an MTV/JoshHorowitz interview in the works…we’ve news that the blessed, the legendary, the poetic On The Road  featuring our MarylouStew is going to Cannes in May and Robert’s Bel Ami [featuring a bad, bad Duroy] is debuting at the Berlin Film Festival next month….*already beginning to hyperventilate*…
Last year was ah-may-zing, no doubt, for our Rebel Queen and her Royal Partner-In-Crime. But 2012 is going to dominate. Looking forward to riding alongside you, Lovelies. Until next time [very soon]…continue pushing onward and keeping your head above the fray. xo, KJ

Embrace your Other.

A/N:  I miss you all terribly but I assure you I am fighting tooth and nail for Musings to continue forward. I’m still here. Pesky car accidents, insurance company arguments, parental surgeries, neglectful, abusive clients and police reports be damned. I’ll see you soon to finish up The Stew Review and welcome 2012, The LalapaSTEWza, properly.

PlayList: which I’d be in jail for if SOPA/PIPA passed

Le Mar (The Ocean) ~ Beautiful Girls

Let Me Sign ~ Robert Pattinson

Such Great Heights ~ Iron and Wine

You Are What You Love ~ Jenny Lewis

Breakdown ~ Jack Johnson

The Fear You Won’t Fall ~ Joshua Radin

A Stew Review, and Stew Anew Pt II

11 Jan
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Pinterest and Google Images. Click the image for a link to pics’ origins. Very unbeta’d– any mistakes and typos punya saya (‘belong to me’ in Indonesian). Musical playlist, per usual, at the bottom. While I work on stabilizing  the posting schedule, click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO notifications in your Email…thissss-a-wayyy——>

“When you possess light within, you see it externally.”  ~Anaïs Nin

It feels so lovely to be back with you Other Royals. You were uncommonly kind to me with your comments and reactions to Part 1 of the Stew Review last Thursday, and many of you fangirled with me as we remembered some of our Other Queen’s highlights from 2011. And they were the Honorable Mentions, not even your Top 3! I wanted to post all the Top voted Moments at once, but I found that each moment had a sorta-kinda partner moment occurring at the same time and I needed the proper space to honor them. 

Let’s continue on now with Part 2 of the Best Of Moments for our Reigning Other Queen, as elected by Musings Readers. The third most memorable Kristen Stewart Moment of 2011 centered around this stunning photo shoot and interview, which came at us from near-obscurity.

When we caught the first glimpses of W Magazine‘s September issue, it was via a 20-second preview on Entertainment Tonight. I can’t pinpoint the exact date, though you CSI super sleuths among the community could probably tell me not only the date but the time the first images of a smoldering, 60’s Pin-up-inspired Kristen Stewart hit the airwaves. She had been cruising under the radar in the UK prepping and filming Snow White and the Huntsman, and we had been preparing for a quiet few months, void of Other Queen sightings until the Breaking Dawn promo ramped up in November. All I know is that in those final days of August into the beginning of September, it was a spectacular time to be Other…and we witnessed the commencement, The Emergence of Royalty. Because really…? Kristen dominated the final quarter of 2011.

Your third most-referenced and noted moment for the MOO Stew Review revolved around this shoot and the interview accompanying it. Why, I wonder? It could be that Breaking Dawn–the final book of the Twilight Saga, and the next-to-last film in the series–had completed filming, and Ms Stewart was already immersed in production of her first post-Twi Saga project. It may have been the first time that those of us following Kristen’s career for the past four years could truly envision her as a completely separate entity, outside of the world of Forks, Washington. We, alongside Kristen, grew…progressed…evolved together. We met a lovely seventeen-year-old girl back in 2008. . .

And holy bejeebus the past four years were so generous with her.

People were split on the reactions to the photos from this shoot, however. And I truly understand why. The thickly lined eyes combined with the extremely high hair was little off-putting and arguably serve as concealer of  the natural-faced, hoodie-and-Chucks-wearing Royal Rebel we are accustomed to seeing and celebrating.

Conversely, the almost overwhelming sensuality and femininity that rolls off of Ms Stewart in rivers, only accentuates and confirms the undeniable: Kristen Jaymes Stewart is all woman, all grown up.

And for me, what made this interview and W Magazine experience so phenomenal, aside from the differing views and reactions to the pictures, were Kristen’s answers taken from the screen test video. These insightful, candid and light reflections [listen to the interviewer cackle gleefully at several of Kristen’s answers] produced some of my very favorite Kristen quotes of the year. As submitted by my girl @TheRainGirl4, here is the video. Take a gander at our Queen, who is in fact, a BFD.

So when you all sent in your votes for your Favorite Other Moments of Royalty for 2011, some of you didn’t specify which part of W Magazine  claimed your heart. The above video encompassed many of your suggestions, including the highest-voted favorite quote.

“After that [final filming] scene…I felt like I could shoot up into the night sky and every pore of my body would shoot light. I felt lighter than I’ve ever felt in my life.” 

And oh how she lit up the sky.

Thank you, Lovelies, for sharing your thoughts. You all light up my world. You have no idea how you’ve provided sustenance for me these days. I’m experiencing some dark patches, and you help illuminate the path.

I’m hoping you’ll continue to share your thoughts as we count down the remaining top Moments of Otherness you elected in the next installment of the MOO Stew Review, which I will post in the next couple days. Until then, be well and be kind to each other. #OtherOn xo, KJ

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others possess a light within that can be seen externally.

Embrace your Other.

A/N: This post and it’s playlist is dedicated to the ladies I have called my Cyber Sisters for over two years. I can see and feel you though we are apart.

Playlist:

Le Mar (The Ocean) ~ Beautiful Girls

Let Me Sign ~ Robert Pattinson

Such Great Heights ~ Iron and Wine

You Are What You Love ~ Jenny Lewis

Breakdown ~ Jack Johnson

After the Storm ~ Mumford and Sons

Illuminated ~ Hurts

The Fear You Won’t Fall ~ Joshua Radin

A Stew Review, and Stew Anew Pt I

5 Jan
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Pinterest and google images. Click the image for a link to pics’ origins. Per usual, this is so very unbeta’d–all mistakes and typos belong to this writer. Musical playlist is at the bottom. Click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO notifications in your Email…riiiiight over heeeerrrre——->

“Whatever you do or dream you can do – begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

Well, well, well. First and foremost, please let me wish you all a very happy New Year, my Misfit Rebels…you Regal Beauties of an Other Army!! 

I am a firm believer that in order to begin anew, we must pay homage to the roots we plant and to any steps forward [and backward and sideways and diagonal] we have taken to get to his point. Welcome to The MOO Stew Review.  After several false starts and two bouts of the flu, I am pleased to finally be back here, Musing along with you all into 2012. I apologize for not posting sooner this week, or before New Year’s Day as I had hoped, but my work schedule took an interesting turn.

In addition to the holidays and illnesses, I found myself designated the lone on-call psychotherapist liaison between Red Cross and my whole city as well as a turn at serving jury duty this week. Ah, 2012 took off at a sprint from the starting gate, and I’m literally just holding on for dear life. When I came back to my MOO outline for The Stew Review (several weeks in the making), I realized I simply had TOO. MUCH. TO. COVER. You all would have been sitting here for daaaaaayyyyys trying to read through my Breaking Dawn-sized ramblings. And I couldn’t do that to you. Not when you’ve been so understanding and gracious with me all this time.

i luff you for your patience

So, I’ve decided to re-imagine my year-end  and January posts via MooDrabbles again, like I had for November. New Year’s resolutions and all: succinctness and presence. Besides, it seems that you all dug the MooDrabbles, and it certainly helped me feel connected and immersed with you as we watched Our Reigning Other Queen own the Breaking Dawn promotional tour, just as she had dominated the better part of 2011.

*holds out hand to you* Shall we? We’ll continue where we left off in last week’s Muselet…where you amazing, amazing readers tweeted, emailed and pinged me with your thoughts on the most memorable Other Queen Moments of the year. Before I list the top three Moments of Otherness you all elected, I must pay homage to highly-applauded happenings  that enhanced our lead Majestic Misfit’s Otherworldly Beauty.  Honorable Mentions are up to bat…

The Other Queen’s Court

I don’t think we understood how profoundly successful a year Ms Kristen Stewart enjoyed until we attempted to single out our favorite moments, right? I noticed the first suggestions sent to me focused on the most current happenings, which is understandable, since our head Royal Rebel’s public appearances, magazine covers and copious interviews correlated with the Breaking Dawn release and the completion of Snow White and the Huntsman filming. But I found myself clapping and rejoicing when you beauties reminded me of the greatness that was the first half of the year.

The People Choose Gold

holy crow, Bella! You're GLOWING!

January 6, 2011, our Reigning Other Queen rang in the new year luminously. When the camera panned onto Kristen during the People’s Choice Awards, I literally gasped out loud.  It was insufferable to sit through that “awards” show..except for the shining moments that Kristen and her boys Robert and Taylor provided. And Twitter then broke. It was the first time we’d laid eyes on our girl since she went typically Ninja a few weeks earlier to spend the holidays in the UK with Rob. But when Ms Stewart stepped up to the stage in that golden-sequined Reem Acra dress and 19-inch Jimmy Choo peep-toe heels to accept the Favorite Movie Actress Award–well, it was nearly a religious experience. It’s no wonder Rob couldn’t stop staring. #ProudHobeau *winks at @drowninit 

It wasn’t just the sequined, miniscule uh, mini hemline displaying her ridiculous apendages, nor the flawless makeup and tousled, perfect hair that elevated the PCA moment from a low murmur to a Rebel Yell…it was one of the first glimpses at the grounded, more confident Kristen Stewart. With what would later become more the rule than the exception, our Ambassador of Other exhibited a new kind poise and grace but an accessibility too, all while strutting up stairs, and on slick stages in towering stilettos and blinding spotlights (and Queen Latifah monologues). If this golden, glowing Goddess was any indication of how 2011 was going to be…we were done before we even got started…hello first week of January. We’re done.

Lady In Untamed Red

For  a self-professed lover of the low-pro, Girlfriend sure knows how to unleash the beast and take serious fashion risks. At the annual Metropolitan Museum of Art’s (MET) Costume Institute Benefit Gala in May, Ms Stewart defined “Savage Beauty” in a very “Other-like” and purposeful statement. Wearing a floor-length Proenza Schouler gown and heels, Kristen walked the red carpet amongst the fashion world’s and Hollywood royalty … and she held her own.

The zig-zagging pattern atop the heavier, thicker, draping material signaled a departure from Ms Stewart’s usual, short and flirty repertoire, but the famous and elegant New York gala honoring the late Alexander McQueen may have been the perfect forum for the unveiling of a riskier, bolder Kristen. I for one applauded her efforts. Nowhere here do I see Bella Swan. Nowhere here do I see an uncertain wallflower. I see a young woman who owns the starkly jagged lines and unexpected, sensual, and  backless creation that dares you to look away…especially when the woman wearing such bawdy exclamations, leaves you behind.

Her Beauty Is Power

We knew. We knew when we saw Kristen wearing spandex exercise capris outside a fitness and yoga studio. We nodded in awe and confirmation when pictures of Kristen riding horses at a valley stable began to surface. We knew that our Badass Royal Beauty was preparing for her titular role in Snow White and The Huntsman (SWATH is such a rad Acronym, isn’t it??), but I don’t think we understood the profundity of it.

 When the filmakers of SWATH held a panel at Comic-Con, they dropped tantalizing claims of wanting to film something akin to “Lord of the Rings”. And then they shared the first official screen shots of the obscenely beautiful cast in costume for their promo pictures. It is then that many of us found ourselves struck dumb… and thirsty. Because we understood a leetle better now; that this film was a whole. new. level. And we wanted MOAR. 

It was in September, 2011 when I found myself completely losing. my. shite. On-set pictures began to hit the internet, displaying some action shots of filming from a secluded beach in Wales. As my eyes became saucer-sized, and my email box started screaming at me in ALL CAPS, I began humming Florence + The Machine’s The Dog Days Are Over because I could hear the horses coming, and I knew that we were on totally new territory. A Warrior Queen, trained in the Art of War,  led the charge.

And as more images peppered our already stunned brains and eyes, and the goosebumps rose on my arms, it became obvious that Kristen was apart of something extraordinary. 

I thought I had finished camping out for movies and premieres after my Breaking Dawn or Bust adventure. But, uh, no. I have no qualms about camping out,  flying to LA or New York [London?] to greet the premiere of SWATH. I’ve already mentioned this idea to @robkris13, @Just2CUSmile and Bouffant. **Witness KJ overturning pillows and crawling beneath the bed, rumamging for change to throw in a piggy bank for the SWATH adventure.**

Kristen has repeatedly, passionately described her filming experience on SWATH as “fulfilling” and her ideal role. Though she promoted Breaking Dawn at the end of the year, it became apparent that Kristen’s heart and soul were fully encapsulated  by her work with Snow White. She referenced her joy with the project, even while it was still in an infancy stage. She took a break in November from filming SWATH to promote BD, and she couldn’t contain her elation and admiration for her character, and her colleagues… her adoring declarations for all things SWATH collude perfectly with more Honorable Mentions of The Best Other Moments:

“It works, Girls!” ~on Jay Leno, re: throwing punches, as Snow White does

“It’s not a little girl sitting by a well with little tweety birds telling her what to do and where to go.” ~at Comic-Con, SWATH panel

“On Snow White, I am having the most fulfilling experience as an actor.” ~to Entertainment Weekly 

A Goddess Grounded

“An Authentic Life is the most important personal form of worship”

~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Lastly in this Not-So-Drabbleish-MooDrabble, I wanted to celebrate an Other’s insistence on comfort and authenticity. Moreover, an Other can be spotted when s/he is him or herself, even in the midst of folks who are acting or exhibiting behaviors in the opposite manner. An Other marches to his own drummer, regardless of the dominant beat. An Other wears Chucks when everyone else wears Designer…

Others slip out of 5-inch stilettos into Classic Skateboarder Vans to be immortalized in Hollywood History…

Others throw on Nikes with gorgeous Roberto Cavalli gowns at the UK Premiere of her massively successful franchise.  . .

Because, really, Others don’t give a shit. Others keep their [bare] feet…on the ground, even when everything around them threatens to usurp and uproot.

 A girl after this island-girl’s heart–choosing to go barefoot and pain-free in lieu of sexy heels that pinch and confine.

Sooooo, we’re wrapping up this first post featuring the Honorable Mentions in our Stew Review and Anew series… We’re just getting started, my Lovelies, and I thank you for your patience and kind understanding as I try to inject some structure into my B-A-N-A-N-A-S 3D life. But I have a feeling that we’re going to bear witness to our Reigning Other Queen’s best year yet, don’t you? I simply cannot wait to go on this ride with you.

In the meantime, I’ll see you all soon, with Part 2 of The Stew Review..and Anew…

Jeebus like rhyming much? Yes. Yes I do. Just as I am captivated and compelled by alliteration. See what I did there?

Anyway, get ready for the Top 3 Moments of Otherness. Catch you laters, Homies. And Happy New Year. xoxo, KJ

We Are Other.

Kristen Is Other.

Others understand that reviewing is integral in renewing.

Embrace Your Other.

*   *   *

QUESTIONS: What do you think of the honorable mentions of the Stew Review? How are you? Talk to me. Tell me how your new year is shaping up so far…

A/N: Thank you. A special thank you to one of my Possum Besties @Ophelia_2010, who gave me the perfect pep talk today. Exactly when I needed it. And to @MyCleverAlias and @DeeDreamer16 who reminded me that we can just be “whelmed”.

Music PlayList for the The Stew Review

*Every single song on this list was prevalent over the course of the year in writing MOO. Stories abound. We’ll have to have a beer or three one night and hash it out.

Le Mar (The Ocean) ~ Beautiful Girls

Let Me Sign ~ Robert Pattinson

Such Great Heights ~ Iron and Wine

You Are What You Love ~ Jenny Lewis

Breakdown ~ Jack Johnson

After the Stom ~ Mumford and Sons

Illuminated ~ Hurts

The Fear You Won’t Fall ~ Joshua Radin

Hestia and Hearth; Stew and You

1 Dec
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Pinterest and KStewartFan.org. Click the image for a link to pictures’ origins. So very unbeta’d–all mistakes and typos are mine, all mine. Musical playlist and GIVEAWAY NOTES at the bottom. Click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO notifications in your Email…riiiiiight over heeeeeerrrre——->

“Architecture is always the spatial expression of a spiritual decision”

~Ludwig Miche van der Roche 

*waves shyly* Hello, you extraordinary, and profoundly regal rebels! I do hope this new, long-overdue Musings finds you and yours healthy and well. Happy December! I’m sorry I’ve been away for as long as I have, it was never my intention. I was floating amongst tents and wristbands and numerous Breaking Dawn viewings. Then Thanksgiving rolled into town along with my mother, and between my jobs, the holiday season kick-off and family illnesses, I haven’t been able to muse along with you, my favorite people, about one of my favorite people: Kristen Stewart in tooooo long. So, first and foremost, I must tell you:

I MISS YOU! 

When I last posted a full-fledged Musings, it was a day or two before my birthday and I had just started my new job. Suddenly any time I had to myself and to connect with you all became severely limited. I hadn’t even gotten the chance to properly thank you for the unbelievable birthday wishes, messages, blogs (lovingly side-eyes @Mel452 and @Nhess_V), cards, gifts and tweets you sent my way. You all are miraculous.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 

Nothing could be more truthful for me these days than the realization that the further and longer I’m away from something (someone, someplace, some ritual, some Musings) the more valuable it infinitely becomes. You may be wondering why the opening picture for this MOO  is of a fireplace. More specifically, a hearth. Well, with all the traveling, bustling about you and I have been doing this month, and all the promoting and touring that our Reigning Other Queen Kristen and her royal consort Robert have been involved in, I wanted to reconnect with a concept that I have severely neglected and severely missed: Home. 

Goddess of Hearth and Home

My husband N and I live in a small studio apartment in a beautiful, textured, culturally rich city with which I am absolutely in love. I have an inordinate amount of adoration for our home. However, since I was laid off and left BastardNation two years ago, we forewent the luxuries that came with having a well-paying (though soul-draining, heartbreaking) job. Luxuries like: several bedrooms, a dishwasher, or enough square footage for a couch. When we come home from work, the room we step into through our front door is the kitchen/office/coat area. It is  there that we remove our jackets and hats and shoes. If we set our items down outside the designated kitchen/office/coat area, we have now moved into cluttering up the living room/library/dining area. You get what I’m saying. Our space is tiny. It is vulnerable to piles and stacks and clutter. But it is home. And when I’m away from it, I miss it. Writing Musings and connecting with you all? That also is “home” for me. I miss it. Miss you.

appealing clutter. our house will become this in 0.3 seconds.

Since N and I both are gone for almost twelve hours each day, we are outside our little sanctuary far more than we are in. And when I was gone for seven days in November to attend the glorious Breaking Dawn premiere, sleeping in a different bed and location nearly every night, I found myself summoning strength from Hestia, the Greek Goddess of hearth, architecture, community and domesticity.

Ahhh Hestia [she is called Vesta in Roman Mythology]. She, who presides over home, Thanksgiving, fire and cooking. Does Lady Hestia remind you of anyone else, perhaps? A Goddess in her own right, and certainly someone of queenly status?

more at “home” than we’ve witnessed before

Our Rebel Queen has been absolutely remarkable this month. As she approaches the wrap up on a grueling, physical film shoot [Snow White and the Huntsman], she still found it within her capacity to leave her apartment [and current work] in London to tirelessly promote Breaking Dawn in Los Angeles for a week. A couple of observations from this time:

1.)  Kristen loves her home. Meaning, literally, where she physically resideswhich has been London for the past four months. Whenever she was interviewed on this promo blitz, not that I’ve seen even a tenth of the four billion interviews she’s given, Kristen  happily referenced and paid homage to the culture, the people, and the food of her current UK residence.

Footnote: Know who else is English? Just sayin.

She also will gleefully and pridefully speak about her current project–Snow White and the Huntsman. #SWATH

Question: What would be another dream role for you?

Kristen: [pauses. smiling shyly] “Snow White.”

2.) Kristen’s embodiment of home [and Hestia] is not solely on a tangible level. She is utterly grounded and centered around wherever [or whomever] she has created as her hearth. It is her construct–her architecture. She has chosen to surround herself by people, places and energy that provides comfort. Look at the word “hearth”. It is not a coincidence that within that word is an entirely new word,”heart”. The hearth, like the heart, is the essential, integral center of a home, a functioning cell. All basic necessities derive from this “place of warmth, fire and heat”. To sustain life, one must be protected and warm, and have food for sustenance, both gifts bestowed from the hearth. And my Goddess, does she ever exude life and warmth and a settled-ness. 

“Right now on Snow White, I’m having the most fulfilling experience as an actor.”

~Kristen to Entertainment Weekly

I don’t know that our head Majestic Misfit has ever appeared as joyful, animated or exuberant as she has these past few weeks. Her innate confidence and buoyancy seems determined to burst through the reserves placed there previously (perhaps out of protection and shyness).  It’s glorious to behold.

Captivating CoCo

We alluded to Ms. Stewart’s visit to Conan O’Brien’s show earlier, and it served as a reminder to share with you all how it was to see Kristen on the show, first-hand, live. I would be remiss if I didn’t stop and thank you all for your sweet tolerance of me, my blurry iPhone pics and stuttering, sporadic tweets on the days preceding and on November 14, 2011. As you know from reading my MOODrabble a few weeks ago,  I was down in my old hood for a week with the goal of getting to the Breaking Dawn premiere and perhaps maybe, maybe saying hello to our Royal Rebels in person.

I flew into LAX Wednesday evening, and my beloved girl Iris (@Just2CUSmile) was so kind to pick me up and whisk me through L.A. traffic and take me to my hotel, which was across the street from L.A.Live and the Nokia Theater [and #TentCity].

Also, due to careful planning and just-plain-smarts, my dear sister @robkris13, photographer extraordinaire and full-fledged Black Carpet press-pass holder, was waiting at the hotel for me as well. After a much-needed catch-up dinner with Iris, and a game planning session with @robkris13, I fell into bed, trembling with excitement. After only about 4 hours of sleep, I trudged downstairs at 4AM to scope out the spot in line for my wristband…alongside hundreds of other enthusiasts.

my feet as I sat on the curb waiting for the wristband line to start. 4:40AM

There were a few rough moments, not gonna lie, in what would become my ten-hour camping-adventure. The last remaining glimmer of faith I had in Scummit Entertainment dwindled to nil and then was lit on fire; and there were a couple instances where fellow “fans” threw me under the bus without a backwards glance (don’t worry New Zealand girls, I won’t generalize your beautiful country based on your petty actions). But overall, I had the most incredible experience. The only way it could have been better is if Kristen and Rob had fist bumped me and said, “Hey, KJ, glad you could make it here after all. Other on, gurl!”

Armed with good joo-joo cast upon me by @robkris13 who somehow always snags the best breaks at Twilight events (she’s the girl who gets moved to the front row of Hall H when her neighbors cause a scuffle with security at Comic-Con); plus my anchors reminding me to Go Forth:

And my @jhiggs86 Originals:

I procured a few bracelets and a movie pass to see the world premiere of Breaking Dawn with the cast, crew and thousands of others.

So I got the bleacher seats that I wanted, across from the arrivals section of the carpet. Perfect vantage point with room to sit and see above the crowd–I’m only 5’2 and a quarter, it doesn’t make sense for me to be 3-people deep behind a barrier on the Black Carpet. I wouldn’t see jack. It’s why I was always intent on grabbing the bracelet for the Bleacher Seats, not TentCity. And in the end, I got the seat I wanted, but I gave up its front-row status because @Just2CUSmile, Iris–whom I call “IA“– had basically extended an offer to me that I couldn’t refuse.

It was a super-sekrit taping, see. No one knew Kristen was at Conan’s studio in Burbank, just hours before she was to arrive on the Black Carpet for the world premiere of the film. So my friend Iris is a resourceful girl, and when she learned she had access to two VIP tickets for Conan’s taping, she hesitated before asking me if I’d like to accompany her. She knew I’d be cutting it reeeeaaaalllly close by leaving the Breaking Dawn premiere site at Nokia Live to go with her to Burbank to see Kristen. But I couldn’t not go. You know?  I am so, so glad I did. Because I got to see Kristen and her Hottie Guard JB up close, in-person, all calm, lovely and flirty with Conan and his facial hair. I saw with my own eyes Kristen’s unbelievable legs in the StewyStandard 18-inch heels, pre-tennis shoe change-out. For about ten minutes, I was in the same vicinity as Other Royalty.

Our gamble for Team CoCo seats didn’t move without moments of uncertainty, though. IA and I weren’t panicked when Coco’s crew did not announce Ms Stewart’s name as apart of the line up. We understood that Kristen wasn’t actually scheduled to be on the show til Thursday, November 17. But we also knew that Kristen and the Breaking Dawn cast was just on the other side of the filming lot, taping their appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show just an hour or so earlier. The premiere was set to “begin” around 5PM, and Coco was taping at 3PM. That was enough time for Kristen to make it, right?

Poor IA didn’t show it, but later she told me she was inwardly freaking out when we sat through an entire hour of taping, which included the very, uh, cool LL CoolJ’s interview and we had not heard even a whisper of confirmation that our Reigning Other Queen was in the building.

. . .Until IA whisper-shouted: “There’s HBG! HBG!”

I whipped around in my seat, nearly falling out of it, to see a tall, tall, handsome man lurking over by the band ‘s stage. Well, if Kristen’s dashing bodyguard JB is here, then Kristen’s here. Basta. I bounced in my seat, clasped IA’s hands in my own sweaty ones and tried to calm my shite down. We were front and center, maybe three rows back, directly behind the center-stage cameras and cue-card holders. I was going to have a prime view of our Reigning Rebel Queen, y’all. Twice. Here with the fantastic Conan O’Brien, and again from my bleacher seat at the Breaking Dawn premiere. It was a gonna be a good night.

Ahhhh, the magic of television. Conan and Andy changed their ties and Coco himself laughingly told the audience, “PRETEND that it’s THURSDAY, ok? Because our next guest is a surprise, and we’re taping her segment for Thursday’s show. So don’t you all go screaming out loud, ‘It’s MONDAY!’  because it’s not. It’s Thursday.”

When Conan announced who the guest was, our surrounding fellow studio audience memberswho were there to see LL Cool Jgasped aloud and started murmuring. Not exactly Twilight fans, this audience. Not that IA nor I cared, because we were too busy jumping out of our chairs to our feet in a screaming, rousing standing ovation, because we were there to see Kristen Stewart, MoFos!! A handful of others stood up to welcome the Reigning Queen Oher, but I’d like to think in my own little fantasy bubble-world that Iris and I were the loudest and most enthusiastic Stew Supporters in the hizzouse.

So you’ve seen the show, yes? If not, the full video–including what Conan loves about Kristen–can be found on @TeamCoco’s site via THIS LINK—->kristen-stewart-privacy

I know many of you have seen Kristen up close, spoken with her, taken a picture with her, received her autograph. I had not up until this point. I can now confirm that it is no exaggeration when people have said she is simply stunning in person. She is absolutely gorgeous, you guise, seriously. Her skin is pristine, her legs are insane, her smile has the wattage of stadium floodlights. And she is so very humble. And good. It radiates from her in shimmering waves. She is kind and shy but also very calm and thoughtful. Oh and she’s funnnnny! 

See how flustered she makes CoCo? yeah. we get that.

She has a succinct charisma about her; she is compelling. I actually didn’t hear too much of what she said, I was too captivated. It wasn’t until I watched the interview days later that I realized I had only heard maybe 60% of it while in the same room with her. It was a short interview, but a lively, bubbling one, with Conan turning almost feral when Kristen complimented him on his beard. I don’t think Kristen truly understands the love and passion she inspires in her admirers. Maybe a flustered, hissing Conan O’Brien could enhance her awareness of her power?

But again, what I witnessed in this brief glimpse was two-fold. Ms Kristen Stewart is especially fond of and acclimated to British living. And she exudes a deeper, more assured knowing of self as well. She is grounded and contemplative, but also light and witty. She seems to have connected quite profoundly with The Goddess Hestia in the knowledge that she has constructed a home; and is at home–within.

What The Dawn Brings

Still riding high from my Close Encounters with the Beautiful Kind, I was shooting off messages and tweets to my Cyber Sisters, @RobKris13, and  you Twittah-peeps as IA raced from the Burbank studio back to Nokia Theater in LA. I didn’t know what the flip I was going to say to security in order to get to the bleacher seat that I most likely sacrificed in order to see Kristen on CoCo. All I know is that I was grasping JHiggs’ beautiful paintings in my hands and IA all but launched me out of the passenger seat of her car byway of an eject button. I was gasping out frenzied screams thanking IA for her amazing James Bond-esque driving, but she probably didn’t hear me because I was booking it down the street towards …the roar. 

the TentCity peeps are looking good, even after 4 nights of camping

You may have already lost your eyesight over  seen my blurry iPhone pics. Don’t ask me why I didn’t bring my actual digital camera for the occasion. I do not know what to tell you except I was contemplating the virtues of emergency camping gear and rain gear first in case I had to literally camp out…Anyhoo. Because I knew that Kristen had just left Conan’s studio in Burbank, I didn’t feel panicked that I’d miss her or Taylor’s or Rob’s arrival.  Thanks to IA’s mad skillz, I arrived at the perfect time.

i believe this is Melissa Rosenberg’s limo

None of the main cast had arrived yet, and the bleachers were not filled, not really. I did lose my front row spot, but I was at an elevated angle directly across from drop-off area. I can’t remember what exactly I told the three security guards that tried to stop me from climbing into the bleachers past the barricades, but I know I smiled, and showed them my hard-fought-for wristband and explained that I was separated from my party, yadda yadda. They let me through and suddenly I was within dizzying proximity of The Pretty. I knew that my girl @robkris13 was literally on the Black Carpet, in the press pit, snapping away like the talented professional photog that she is, probably having a spiritual experience. She had the best seat in the house, but mine, in my opinion, was a very close second.

hi, Peter!

I had room to sit. I was elevated and could survey the whole plaza and street. My fellow bleacher-cohorts (with the exception of one obnoxiously dramatic woman) were respectful and giddy and energized and we all shared the space contentedly. We exchanged fist bumps, high-fives, giggles and eye-rolling sighs of exasperation when the situation called for such (i.e. aforementioned obnoxious, dramatic woman). And we enjoyed the first moments of interaction and attention when the arriving actors, writers, musicians and models would step out of their vehicles.

The roar only swelled from this point on…I had to conserve my phone battery, since my dumb arse didn’t bring a car charger with me. I didn’t take as many pictures as I would have liked…But thank your lucky stars I practiced restraint, because you would have been subjected to enough blurry pictures to launch a migraine. I’ll show you a couple more, then switch over to the professional pics, ok? Would you like to take a gander at @robkris13‘s amazing shots? Here ya gooooo—-> robkris13Photography

Ashley

Robert

Her Royal Otherness Kristen

Other Queens wear Nikes and Couture gowns

And when Rob, Kristen, and Taylor arrived…they didn’t head to the Black Carpet. They immediately ran behind their SUVs and went straight to the bleachers. Bodyguards in tow, Nikes in place. Both Kristen and Rob got close enough to me, that if I really, really wanted to–though at the risk of causing a brawl–I could send my signs over head for autographs. But I opted against it (this time) and chose to hover back and hold my signs up for them to read if they looked up from their tasks at hand. I was pretty content when both Kristen and Robert lifted their gazes and saw me waving my signs. Pretty content, because I had yet another moment of sharing the physical space with such generous, inspiring, and regal spirits.

And to later see pictures that further confirmed the special bond and fierce protectiveness they have with one another and their relationship…

It’s been over two weeks now since this wonderful event occurred. I’ve seen the film three times (I know, I know, that’s a low number comparatively, right?) I am drastically behind in watching interviews and gawking over such profound moments of beauty, but I don’t mind. Thank you all for bearing with me as I am super late to the party in discussing the sheer magnitude of epicness the Breaking Dawn premiere [and release] bestowed.

I absolutely adored the dress Kristen wore to the World Premiere in Los Angeles. I am gaga over the fact that she wore her Nikes first so that she could move comfortably and swiftly alongside the barriers and bleachers to accommodate as many fans as possible. Her makeup was immaculate and her hair, in the messy, braided bun…well that’s what dreams are made of.

And should we talk about that waist-high skirt-slit????

The color coordination among the Twi Trio just kills me. That is simply too much Pretty for the system. And their friendship and playfulness and support of each other is only made of WIN.

But at the end of the day, after hours of waiting in line, sitting on a sidewalk, lolling around sleep deprived and achey, it’s the wild, assured certainty that Kristen emanates…and the way she and her Rebellious Partner in Crime Robert look at each other that marks this as Game Over for me. Because this is how Hestia and Home and hearth manifests with our Reinging Royal Rebels. In being sure-[Nike] footed, and proud of the work they are producing. In being fulfilled by self acceptance and protection…and acceptance and protection of each other.

Home manifests when operating as a fluid system, in feeling pride in decisions made for oneself and one’s family. Home and hearth is expressed in the knowledge that no matter where we physically are or how long we are away, we have a steadfast, earnest, inner compass as a guide for our return.

you are my home.

Gratitude for Stew and You 

…which leads me to the concluding thoughts for tonight’s essay. I have felt disconnected and a little sad  because I haven’t been as in touch with you, and with writing MOO [i.e. following Bliss]. Last year for Thanksgiving, I listed all things I was grateful for since joining this community and Musing aloud with you all. I want to pay homage to that event by reiterating my gratitude this year as well, albeit a few days late. I have been apart of the K/R/Twi Community since pre-Twilight, Summer 2008. I only started writing MOO in June of last year. Never in my wildest, most medicated dreams did I foresee meeting such extraordinary people; being privy to a passionate group of #OtherRebels boasting brilliant, crazy ideas and philosophies, and even bigger, exuberant, inspiring hearts.

In honor of Thanksgiving and the Goddess Hestia, who presides over Hearth, Home, Family and Community, I declare utmost gratitude for the lovely, the fierce and rebellious Ms Kristen Jaymes Stewart and her Warrior Poet Robert Thomas Pattinson. For without his and her independent, majestic, unconventional beauty, I may not have found the gumption to begin Musing aloud with you. And if I hadn’t opened my big, rambling, chattering mouth, I probably never would have met you all. I probably wouldn’t have decided to fly down to LA to try to camp out for movie tickets and a chance to see famous, pretty rebels in person. I probably would not have met you– you who are inspiring warriors and the dearest of dear friends. I am unspeakably humbled by your presence in my life. You are home for me.

Next time we’re going to make a dent in all the rebel greatness by discussing the glorious Breaking Dawn UK Premiere, which was the producer of a few Kristen and Robert pictures that may be the best. Ever. 

We’ll talk Entertainment Weekly, aka, The Interview In Which I Need To Make T-Shirts Out Of Every Verbal Statement Made, #FuckYouBothInTheFaceForLaughing….. and I’ve got an extra copy or two of EW to give away to you lovelies…

And we’ll actually talk about the movie itself. Hopefully you all will have seen it by then, so there won’t be any spoilers. Until we meet again, I wanted to let you know that I have not one but two magazine giveaways happening this week. Check the A/N for details and how to enter. Serious love and gratitude goes out to every single one of you who for some reason check in with me and read my loquacious monologues. I will see you sooner than later, Lovelies. Always, KJ

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others recognize Home as not a solely tangible idea.

Embrace your Other.

*    *    *

A/N:

Special gropes and love to:

My CyberSisters/SmutSisters/GoodReads Girls

my bouffant

Heather Ree~ my dearest: Welcome to Twilight, baby.

@Mel452 and @Nhess_V

@allthingsHHH and @SoCalMom2Four ~ it was a pleasure meeting you, lovely ladies

@RobKris13 … @Just2CUSmile and Mari-Pai who made my time in L.A. simply sublime

It’s GIVEAWAY TIME!!!!  

I have one copy of GQUK for you….

and two copies of Glamour to give away… 

TO ENTER the GIVEAWAY: Just answer a question from the magazine you’re interested in when you leave your comment…..

For GQUK:  Kristen cites ‘On The Road’ as her ‘first-ever favourite book’. What is your first-ever favourite book, and would you accept the role [and responsibility] of bringing it to film?

For Glamour: Kristen advises honesty and knowing yourself as the key to relationships. What would you advise fellow #Others on relating…?

 ESSAY’s MUSIC PLAYLIST

What You Wanted ~Angus & Julia Stone

Let Me Sign ~ Robert Pattinson

Islands in the Stream ~ Constantines and Feist

Let’s Get Lost ~ Bat For Lashes feat Beck

Falling ~ Florence and the Machine


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