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The Gathering

14 Jun
A/N:  Images displayed on this anniversary post are not mine–Thank The Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam & Pinterest. No copyright infringement intended. Click the image to link directly to its origins. Musical inspirations listed at the bottom of post.  Words usually pre-read by a luminous team of Rebel Beauties, but not today. These garbled ramblings in all their flaws and glories are mine, all mine.

Four Years . . .

My loveliest, most Majestic of Misfits, it is nice to see you. More than nice, really, though I’m actually indescribably happy to be here, writing, connecting with you.  In efforts to gently reacquaint, I’ll just ease in for a moment or two, in small increments. It has been, after all, a year since we last chatted. And much, of course, splendidly, has surmised. The inception of this little gathering space we call MOO occurred  four. years. ago. 

UKElle2

I’ve been working on novellas, “shorts”, or “Muselets” as I’ve called them, for a week now. And today’s little post is simply a hello note, one bursting with gratitude, but a greeting nonetheless. It has been a long time since I’ve written in this forum, on WordPress, and I’m eager and timid and elated all at once. Thank you for bearing with me as I re-acclimate. I hadn’t known I was going to publish today, but here I am, and would you mind terribly if I shared a little story? 

Kristen Stewart, Self Assignment, May 2014

MOOing Pages

Writers I’ve admired, from Carolyn See of the Literary Life, Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way) and now the great Diana Gabaldon, poet and sire of my all consuming love (Outlander) remind me: return to your roots, do not let the muscle atrophy, do not let yourself become stagnant. Write. Write. Write every single day. I have not been writing every single day, and I am suffering because of it. Carolyn See says 1500-2000 words a day. Julia Cameron encourages the writing of Morning Pages. Morning pages unlock, they clear the space.  The MP invite and do not judge and instead allow a forum to just be, bestowing freedom and space. That freedom is endless and boundless and I’m struggling with wanting to go back and correct typos and add grammar and punctuation and that is exactly the point of MPs–let go of the “shoulds” and tear down the barriers to creativity.  A recent addition in my life, a work consultant called Mr O’Donnell recommended I return to what nourishes me. Do I know what that is? he asked. Yes. I know what that is. *looks lovingly towards you* 

The words below are this morning’s Morning Pages, or MOOing Pages, I’ve referred to them, because they’re my lighthouse, beckoning me home. They led me to piecing this Muselet together today, when I had least expected. The sentences are unedited, missing serious punctuation, and obscenely affronting to all grammar manuals, but meh. MOOing pages do not judge.

writing again 2014

* * *

morning pages PDX version, saturday 10.30AM

song: Roses and Wine by Diego Garcia

Seated in a Portland coffee shop, trying to take stock of my previous 36 hrs, catching up finally on #TheRover goodies, seeing that #AmericanUltra wrapped… Since chatting with you all, I met one of my favorite authors (the spectacularly talented and inspiring Diana Gabaldon of #Outlander). Ms Gabaldon spoke of the writing process, kilts (paying winking respects to Sam Heughan’s authentic Scottish identity, bless), and character development and I swear I could float away on a cloud forever now that it seems I’ve found another muse for Otherness in the diminutive force of nature named Diana, Creator of Badass, Brilliant English Women (Claire Randall Fraser) and her gallant warrior King of Men (James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser).

So, in driving home from the Diana Gabaldon event, starved, dehydrated and with a dead cell phone (none of this foreign to me, I am an original Twilight fangirl for God’s sake) I was pulled over by a cop hell-bent on lecturing me on the virtues of safe driving (what in GOD’S name had me driving so fast? Did I not see the STOP SIGN? Only one earbud allowed while driving, did you know this?) but in the end, Mr Policeman didn’t fine me; instead he generously granted me personalized directions to my ultimate destination of In-N-Out Burger at 130AM. Girl’s got priorities, you know.

Operating on 2.5 hours of sleep, I trudged to work (my new job as of two months ago is working with county mental health programs to ensure counseling is made available to low and no-income consumers), and took refuge in a hazel-nut flavored coffee brewed by the office’s Keurig coffeemaker.

I took a working lunch in which I pulled on my journalist’s hat (more closely resembling a knit beanie with unraveling edges), and ducked away into a small conference room in which I could gather my thoughts and prepare for an interview with a very eloquent, talented musician namedGarrett Williams, founder and lead singer/guitarist of #EvolutionBeat, a contemporary ska band. This would mark my second interview with a rock star in my side gig as contributor and music reviewer for LASF Magazine, an arts, culture and entertainment publication based in Los Angeles and San Francisco, my two home turfs, incidentally. For nearly one hour (save the ten minutes I fumbled with my session microphone, causing, to my utmost embarrassment, the call to drop), Mr Williams and I chatted the transmutation of ska music, Dolly Parton, Scottish bagpipes and broken bones while deciding that we are helpless to the lure of music and its healing properties.

I grabbed a northbound plane after work last night, and sat in aisle seat in the emergency exit row.  I had the fleeting thought that I would be a worthless hero to anyone, should we need to exit the giant vessel via side panels. I had no jacket, thin, ballet flats for shoes, and my dinner had consisted of corn chips, whose salt crumbs still clung to my lips. I’m pretty sure I saw the flight attendant’s eyes flit over them while she explained the emergency evacuation protocol to my aisle mates. She may have then switched her attention to the strapping men who stationed themselves in front of the actual 30-pound removable doors and could actually be of assistance in the event of a water landing. However, I am a pretty braw swimmer, so I may be redeemable after all. 

* * *

So…. That is how I found myself in Portland, Oregon, hanging out in a stuffed arm chair by a fireplace, even though it’s the summertime. One wouldn’t know  it was mid-June if basing this observation on the constantly overcast, cool and damp Portland weather, but let me tell you, fireplaces are kinda wonderful.  Especially as I settle in to connect with you all and tell you what I hope to do, to tell you about MOO in its latest, most honest incarnation. 

Four of Words

I’ve been blessed with having this space, and you wonderful readers to share with for four years. In the next few days (weeks?), I’ll post a series of new short essays paying homage to elements that have emerged as a result of Musings On Other Queens’ creation. For instance: The celebration of WORDS…. Four years of rejoicing in interview quotes from Kristen Stewart and fellow Other Ambassadors.

“Someone saw an old movie I was in, The Safety of Objects, and realized that the little boy in it had grown up into this girl — me.”  ~ Kristen Stewart 

%22BeHealthy%22 tumblr_moo2galcEn1rom6zso1_500

Four years of sharing, exchanging,  and falling in love with new stories that bind us in a shared admiration for coherency and eloquence and the written word, and the emotions and images associated with those words.

7f3aa8ae11cc9e7472f23edee5434d3d

Four of Redefining

We’ll also explore a new entry for the Other Anthology: Transparency.  I’ll tell you about my LA-SF road trip in which I gallivanted around my home cities with dear friends @robkris13 @mel452 and then viewed the Sundance presentation of  Kristen’s film CAMP X-RAY. Some of my lovely girls of the Bay Area joined me for Q & A session with Camp X-Ray’s director Peter Sattler post showing  in which praise and accolades for Kristen were reverent and abundant. Transparency indeed.

PvtColeXRay

Four of Red

A third Muselet queued up to post this week will speak to the color RED, as we’ve seen over four years, indicators of our Rebel Roots and bold declarations of UN-convention. Starting with the very FIRST Kristen Stewart picture posted on Musings On Other Queens June 3, 2010. 

Kristen Elle 2010

FIRST RED 2010

and..

CannesBeautyRed  2014

CANNES BEAUTY RED 2014

Do you see where I’m going with this, my Other Warriors?  Still with me? Ok. So I’ll be seeing you around the hood.

Always, KJ ❤

P.S. Thanks for hanging with me these four glorious years

P.P.S. And thanks for having me back. Rambling and law-breaking and all. #OtherOn

Embrace Your Other.

 * * *

Fourth Anniversary Playlist
Wildest Moments ~ Jessie Ware
I Wanna Get Better ~ Bleachers
Only Love ~ Ben Howard
 This Much I Know ~ Speak
Gotta Have You ~ The Weepies
Meant ~ Elizaverta
My Song 5 ~ HAIM

Muselet: New Day

18 Aug
A/N:  Images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam, and Pinterest.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image for a link to its origins. Totally unbeta’d, so any mistakes and stumbles are mine, allll mine. This is only a shorty, but of course there is a playlist. Click here to open a new page & listen——>(http://pl.st/p/20984139787)

Here comes the sun

Hello, Lovelies. Long time no musings, I know. Those of you who have been my journey mates these past two-plus years understand that any silence from this site is not indication of similar silence experienced by it’s author. I have been musing. Oh, how I’ve been tumbling through and under and over and every which way through the contemplative immensity these past four, [five?] weeks. It’s a matter of reining it in and sharing the ramblings in a cohesive manner. Clearly, as I’ve proven time and time again, my challenge is succinctness. 

….Since brevity is the soul of wit ~ Shakespeare

When I decided on a whim to post this little ditty, the clock was twenty minutes shy of switching over to “00:00”, proclaiming a new day; one, as Anne Shirley [an early Other herself, as she dreams from her house of Green Gables] jubilantly reminds us contains “no mistakes in it yet”. It has now grown five minutes past midnight. I only wanted to post a little heads-up. To let you know that Musings is coming atcha this weekend whether you are ready or not. I wanted you to know that I. Am. Here. I never left. 

I was inspired to return to this WordPress Wonderland of Otherness for many reasons: because I needed to; because I wanted to; because I have so many words in my head and love in my heart I feared I may implode. Also, because I feel The Shift. The clouds are easing up slightly allowing for precious, nourishing slivers of light to illuminate the sky, warm our faces. 

Also, I never had the chance to properly celebrate Musings’ two year anniversary and I simply cannot let much more time elapse without writing about this glorious, shattering, profound year. And to not acknowledge that is just WRONG. This year has been everything. And the past two months in particular have simply changed the game.  

So I’m writing the celebratory MOO post that I had planned for weeks ago. This was before July 17, before my husband and I made some pretty intense decisions which lends to why we’re today, quite literally, separated by a world;  before I became involved in three funerals, before I made an unexpected but most cathartic return to composing music and finding long-forgotten melodies within. 

I created this space over two years ago because I needed a forum to find my voice and connect with kindreds searching for theirs as well. I wanted to to do something to help dissuade the negativity and maybe do my small part in creating change that I wanted to see in the world around me. No time is more apt or essential than now. 

So I figure: Let’s pick up right where we left off. 

****From my July 31, 2012: Twitlonger

There is one simple, pure, and constant concept that has been a small measure of comfort to me this week. And that is this: nothing, nothing, nothing is black or white. Nothing involving human beings and their emotional capacity can be categorized so easily. There is a gray area. There is an essential consideration that is near and dear to MY heart– of OTHER. That idea that is indefinable, fluid and against simple explanation. Because there is ALWAYS more.

We do NOT know. There is a sequence of events, there are precipitating triggers, there are esoteric factors that we have no access to, and–here’s where it’s crucial to understand– It is not OUR right to access.

No where is there an Admiration Rulebook that states we retain [or deserve] the right to acquire personal, private details in ANYBODY’S lives, let alone regarding people we have never met. We were never invited into their relationship. In fact, Kristen and Rob did everything in their power to preserve and protect what is theirs. They both have countlessly reminded us that idolatry is unwarranted and in the long run, completely, utterly UNFAIR. To ourselves. To them. 

People have asked, begged, prompted me to say something all week, and while it is quite flattering to me that you, of such great, burgeoning minds, seek out my addled brain for guidance, there is another part of me that feels pressure.

Yes I’m a clinical psychotherapist. Yes, I Muse on empowerment and compassion and love. Yes, I am a supporter of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson: Together, separately, no matter. But I too am wading through stages of grief, loss, confusion. And sometimes, though this ‘twitlonger’ doesn’t reflect that, I am without words and direction too.

Two points I had hoped to make, before this spiraled out of control into a full-on Musings.

1) Musings On Other Queens–this ‘blog’– is not going anywhere. It never was ‘A Kristen Blog’ or ‘A Robsten [ugh, you KNOW how I detest that label] Blog’. It was a space I created so we could talk about the ways we can overcome labels, misconceptions and generalizations. A way to give voice to the underrepresented. It was intended for us to have a forum to encourage SELF-REFLECTION on how we can contribute to the lessening of stereotypes, possibly banishing the bullying and the hate-mongering.

I think we need that capacity more now than ever. And so no, MOO is not closing down or taking a hiatus other than it’s regular breathing schedule as I navigate my 3D life. And BOY is my 3D life colorful this month. Balance, babies, it’s all about balance.

This started it ALL. It aint stopping anytime soon, kiddos

2.) I honestly and soulfully believe that Kristen and Robert will move through this, in a way that is healing and right for Kristen and Robert. Not by our definitions or standards, but theirs. As it should be.

Also, any amount of processing and rehabilitation will take time. 

Sitting on Twitter, or watching entertainment ‘news’ channels obsessively is maybe the most damaging thing we could do right now. And I can say with utmost confidence and authority, that believing wholly in anything the “media” [tabs] churn out is a great disservice to … well, everything, everyone, including Kristen and Robert, the very people that bound us together in the very beginning.

In my twelve years in training as a professional listener…I have learned an open mind is the most compassionate and–most often–prevalent truth in the end. Compassion and support is what Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson need more than anything right now.

Be well and take care of yourselves. Cultivate all of your strengths and blessings in your everyday, tangible life. And while a young couple takes time to assess and evaluate their hopes, aspirations and paths, we can do the same.

See? We’re all rediscovering our humanity together.

In a letter I wrote to my CyberSisters a couple days ago, in the midst of my own personal anguish, I concluded:

“I want to tell you as a marriage and family therapist, that I see this devastation often. It happens. EVERY. DAY. In one form or another.

And, yes, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. the sun rises again and people-warriors make their way towards it’s warmth.

I have faith. I have so much faith.

So a 22 year old girl is human. She resides with the rest of us mortals. I am so happy for the company.”

I am so happy to be in your company.

****

See you this weekend for the commencement of celebrating Other? Yesssss. All my love and light… KJ

*    *    *

Playlist: 

http://pl.st/p/20984139787

Ho Hey ~ The Lumineers

Ashes and Wine ~ A Fine Frenzy

Breathe Again ~ Little People feat Rachael R

Hold On ~ Alabama Shakes

Dear Kristen

25 Apr
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr and Imagebam.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image for a link to its origins. Totally unbeta’d, so any mistakes and stumbles belong to MEEEEEE. Musical playlist, per usual, at the bottom. Click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO updates in your Email…right. over. heeee-yah——>

Dear Kristen

Dear Kristen,

I can understand on a very personal level that pain and anguish can trigger spellbinding creativity. At the very least, conflict and confrontation sparks a need to respond–hell, it’s why I began writing this little blog in the first place, almost 2 years ago. Today is my four year wedding anniversary, eliciting a sappy, nostalgic mood. I recall that it was April 2008, four years ago,  that I  foraged into the Twilight Community for the first time. [See –>  Origins Of Musings Page  ] And it was two years ago in 2010 that I began formulating the beginnings of what would be Musings On Other Queens ..[See–> The First Ever Musings] Big deals happening all over the place, I’m telling you. *winking at Josie Belle Cullen and @CaraNoFic*

Hello, Cover Girl

Okay, so Kristen, it’s 2008, and suddenly you are omniscient. I simply could not remain silent about the unfounded, unfair and oft times vitriolic criticism  that also instantaneously emerged. Your name was uttered in households the world over…[I’m searching for the word….iconic?] and you were the most beguiling [divisive?] topic of discussion,  simply because you accepted a new job in your already impressive career. I could be wrong, but I don’t know that you ever, in your wildest imagination, anticipated the maelstrom that resulted from your decision to portray the role of a seventeen-year-old human girl who fell in love with a vegetarian vampire. I don’t know that you had foreseen [and who could have?] that your mere attendance at a desert music festival this weekend would lead  to new shrines and discussion boards…But for the record: You do look fantastic. And by that I mean: healthy, jubilant, inspired and amorous. Luminous. Congratulations on your face and that smile, btw. And P.S. way to rock the short-shorts, baby.

Sooo, as I was saying: I completely get that conflict and heartache certainly can be a catalyst for the creation of something big, phenomenal, even. However, this month, as your second year in your second decade of life commenced, I witnessed how positivity and love  took center stage and emerged into a Celebration. You, my friend, are the reason for countless gratitudes so many hold, and that I myself have procured over the years. During your birthday week, I sat back and stared in wonderment as people–thousands, probably hundreds of thousands, maybe millions? of people–stepped forward and found their voices to express their admiration for you, because you came into being. Because you exist.

I had never been more in love with this community than I was that week. You’ve probably seen these, but they’re worth a second or twenty-second glance… oh my, my the talent.

Team Kristen Site’s Birthday Projecthttp://tksbdayproject.tumblr.com/

@Fiorel90’s Birthday Video: 

@KSIBTU’s 22: Best Of Kristen

There Are Places I Remember 

A little over three weeks ago, I posted the first new Musings On Other Queens, KStew and Unconventional Beauty [yes, I full-named myself]  memo after two months of being…away. It was glorious and painstaking and tedious all at once. I had taken a hiatus, because heartbreak in my personal life was affecting my ability to create. I came back because you and your fearless pursuit to know and honor Marylou  of the seminal On The Road film project helped equip me with the lady balls to plow forward, onward. But it was brutal. I cannot lie, these past few months have been absolutely awful. 

These days, I swing wildly between elation and terror. You  have provided me this courage to follow through on my wild, maybe unreasonable, whimsy to pursue a smorgasbord of Bliss. Last week, I went to a formal job interview, the first in over a year, for a supervisor/trainer position at a counseling agency  which provides support and encouragement to teenagers in neglected and underserved communities. It’s an end-of-the-line intervention before said teens turn to gangs, drugs and prostitution in their desperation for obtaining the feeling of safety, belonging and home. 

this sunrise greeted me after a very dark night

I hadn’t walked into the interview with any expectations. I have a good thing going for me right now; I didn’t need  (nor want) to return to bureaucracy, and certainly not after my experience with my previous job, at Bastard Nation. But I went in for the interview anyway, and the directors provided hope and fresh perspective and I suddenly felt excitement for working with community agencies again. And they wanted me for my Other characteristics–my physical features, my youth, my unconventional perspectives. You are the catalyst who imbued the bravery I needed to even consider returning to the field, Kristen. You. 

Call it the Royal Rebel Effect

Additionally, I have taken some major steps towards developing and expanding my private practice into a consulting business which would incorporate group discussions, webinars and training on grief, empowerment and resilience, my areas of expertise. This means that I am putting my credibility [and my face!!] on the line and online to share what I know (whether inherently or due to years of training and nurturing) with an audience outside of my perfect, bubble-wrapped Musings world. Like…on YouTube and shit. Vulnerable much? I’ve got my own demons to fight, my girl, but the point is: I am owning it. I am pushing through what is to get to where I want to be. Just as you do on a daily basis. #OwnIT

gpoM

For People and Things That Went Before…

The second gratitude I have as a result of your existence is the goodness you bring via your admirers and supporters. They’re the best, Kristen, I swear to you. I know I’m biased, but I’ve been around long enough to see exceptional people exhibiting [mirroring your own?]  extraordinary qualities. Four years ago, when I tip-toed unsuspectingly into the Twilight community via MTV interviews and E!Online lurkfests, I didn’t know. I didn’t fully understand the enormity and passion that you incited in people. I still am stunned by it today, honestly. But by chatting with people, watching YouTube fanvids, by meeting my CyberSisters and Readers face-to-face, I found the most incredible people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. After writing the first Musings, I received poignant, empowering emails and letters from Readers around the world. People who sought an authentic connection and held pride in representing the deviants, the Awkward Ones, the unconventional, The Others. I’ve gained lifelong, best friends and sources for inspiration. We were/are all bound by the protectiveness and admiration we hold for you, and for Robert, and your unwavering mission of authenticity.

The Kids have Chosen. YOU win.

I talk to some of these amazing people every day. EVERY. DAY. I speak to my CyberSisters and Readers more than I do my family. I have never met a more vibrant, brilliant, compassionate group of people than I have in my association with this community, the Supportive Kristen Community. And oh my gawd they’re amazing. Not only in their support of YOU, but of ME, and in OTHERS everywhere…Because they remind me every day that Other is everywhere.

Love of Mad Ones, the ones who burnburnburn, via Sydney, AUS ~@Mel452

Finding the courage to take risks, to follow Bliss via Portugal ~ @dizzy_ladybug

expression through music and cultural pride via Indonesia ~ @Ichaluvcat

Reminders that authenticity is Other is Beautiful via Florida, USA ~ @that_bitch101

…In my life, I’ve Loved Them All

As do you, Ms Stewart. You model for us a congruent Otherness that is unparalleled. You have been a pristine Ambassador of Other for Musings. You have been both a candle  burning steadily and a mirror, reflecting the luminosity of Royal Rebels abound. You have worn the crown on your head, even through turbulent waters, gracefully and relentlessly. 

I had no inkling of an idea that I would stumble into the cavernous treasure trove of possibility, friendship, support, love, passion and courage when I joined the murmured discussion about a young woman named Kristen Stewart all those years ago. But today I can see that it was serendipitous that I did. This little Musings  Letter is merely my attempt at expressing sentiments that are nearly impossible to articulate–my utmost gratitude for the existence of you. Thank you. You have beatified my life profoundly, and probably obliviously. I bow down in awe, humility and respect to you, nonetheless. Happy Birthday, Kristen Jaymes Stewart.

Love and Light, KJ

She Reigns. #OtherQueen

 *      *      *

[QUESTION:] Where were you in April four years ago, three years ago, two years ago….?

[A/N:] Today  is N’s and my four-year wedding anniversary. It’s all love, which is good, because there felt to be an absence of genuine respect floating out there in our fandom…and in my 3D life too. So in essence, this letter is a celebratory reminder of Kristen, of this outrageously entertaining and beloved fandom, and of the people I’ve met, known and learned from these four years.
I didn’t update as soon as I had hoped, but I didn’t let two months slip by again. Seriously, thank you for your utmost patience and kindness as I work through The Stuff. I hope to be back with you even sooner, but not after I return from my little vacay. Leaving for Washington D.C., Raleigh, NC and possibly New York on Friday to see family and dear friends. And because I have needed a vacation desperately for a very long time. See you when I return. And to prepare for the epicness that will be #Cannes. My BODY. IS. READY.
 *  *  *  
*  *  * 
This Letter’s PLAYLIST 
::: Fires  by Shady Bard
                 ::: Hold On by Alabama Shakes
*  *  *
**Heading titles are lyrics from Lennon & McCartney’s/ The Beatles’ In My Life 

Muselet: Through What Is

24 Mar
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Pinterest and Imagebam. Click the image for a link to its origins. Mostly unbeta’d, but preread by the luminous Bouffant. Any mistakes and stumbles belong to MEEEEEE. Musical playlist, per usual, at the bottom. While I try to normalize a posting schedule, click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO updates in your Email…thissss-a-wayyy——>

“In order to get from what was to what will be,

you must go through what is.”

~Anonymous

Hello, you beautiful, beautiful souls you. I must be honest: I didn’t know how to return to you after being away for so long. It’s been nearly two months since I’ve written a new Musings, therefore two months since feeling that connection with you all, which is by far the most rewarding reason for doing this “blog” in the first place. I do not know how to be anything but honest with you, so here’s the truth: I’ve suffered a beat-down–physically, emotionally, personally and professionally–and I not only hit a brick wall in my capacity to create, but I wavered in faith that I’d be able to recover. I’m nursing a broken heart. But nothing…nothing heals me better than Musing aloud with the finest and kindest souls I’ve ever encountered *side-eyes YOU ALL*.

you let me stand under your umbrella. ella. ella.

In the past two months, the number of pristine Moments of Otherness have become uncountable. I won’t even attempt to highlight a singular event that impacted us RoyalRebelWatchers during these weeks. But I can pay homage to a few significant happenings that lovingly coaxed me out of my hiding place. I hope you’ll join me in my brief Musings on the splendor that has graced us since we last chatted. And then together we can look towards the greatness glimmering on the horizon, ok?  Ok, then, off we go. #OtherOn #ThroughWhatIs

Go forth and set the world on fire.

~ St Ignatius Loyola

Since we last spoke, we were in Paris, and better yet, we were whimsically compelled in Paris. Kristen was photographed in a fantastical couture ball gown, and hanging with visionaries Karl Lagerfeld and Mario Testino. So Paris -Part Deux was surreal. And essential on many levels.

Our Reigning Other Queen’s appearances at various Paris Fashion Week events were her first in a professional capacity since becoming the newly-named ambassador for Balenciaga. She attended the Balenciaga showcase in the company of Anna Wintour and Salma Hayek. She met up with her “On the Road Boys” [which we’ll reference another time] at French lounges, and dropped by show rooms of fashion icons. In short, Kristen brought. it. She represented while clutching an incredible Stella McCartney bag and wearing a couple of different leather jackets that reduce me to tears.

brb, weeping over that jacket

Our RebelQueen handled her ambassador’s duties with finesse and grace, and with few, if any, words. Oh and also? Kristen wasn’t alone. No, she was surrounded by love and support provided by her elite team. Her steady assistant John, her incredibly winsome publicist Ruth, her stalwart bodyguard JB and an encouraging and proud partner Robert.

The crowning jewel atop the sparkling Parisian tour was Kristen’s visit to the opening of the Marc Jacobs-Louis Vuitton Exhibition. Wearing a leopard-print Vuitton minidress and gun metal-tipped heels, Ms Stewart landed atop nearly every fashion critic’s Best Dressed list, including British Vogue. 

Now, I’m not someone  you’d call a fashionista, not by a long shot. But I do possess an appreciation for lovely material, unexpected lines, and rich patterns that prompt a physical response–an intake of breath. And I can ascertain an inner strength that exudes from a woman who is on a sky-bound journey called Greatness. Her emergence as a composed and congruent woman has been a steady, tantalizing unveiling, but make no mistake: She. Is. Here.

“Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.”

~Jack Kerouac, On The Road

So…as I worked through some painful decisions that impact the livelihood of my self and of my family, and more weeks melted away, I found myself cocooning for self preservation. As we’ve discussed before, there is an almost crucial compulsion to re-establish equilibrium for the recovery process to commence. And sometimes, we don’t know how to implement the healing. For me, I immediately withdraw and become quiet, so I can search for that still, small voice (some call this God, The Universe, Allah, Intuition, or…The Divine) to emerge. To access that inner compass, I write, listen to music, make some of my own music, and immerse in nature. I also look for guidelines as provided by strong models who surround me.

In a moment of startling clarity, and tremendous pride, I drank in the examples as exhibited by our Reigning Other Queen. You guise: the reason why I began writing Musings On Other Queens in the first place, almost two years ago, was to pay homage to an actress of uncommon poise and conviction.

I needn’t look any further for inspiration and gentle encouragement towards a courageous role model. These days, she is ev.er.y.where. 

Kristen has been signed on to play Marylou in Francis Ford Coppola’s adaption of Jack Kerouac’s seminal novel On The Road for years. She was approached by filmakers to consider the role before her Twilight days. The film project itself has been in development since the 1960’s and the role call of artists attached to it over the decades is nothing short of legendary. And yet, it is just now, over sixty years after the original scroll was typed, that the story is at last available to and for public consumption.

Now, I know that the book On The Road isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. But it is my cup of tea. I read the book at an extremely fragmented time in my life–my senior year in high school, while I was determining colleges, and grappling with my first bout of depression. This book–along with the book The Perks of Being A Wallflower and my discovery of Joni Mitchell and Tori Amos–served as balm for my wistful, wild yearnings for it. The ‘it’ that Sal Paradise, Dean Moriarty and the ‘beautiful sharp tack’ Marylou also sought.

Kristen Stewart knew, when accepting the role of Marylou for this film, that she was undertaking an enormously important project. This film was not only a life vest for an aimless teenager like myself, but is the visual manifestation of a story that is referred to by cultural commentators and historians as the ‘defining work of a generation’. Ummmm. Ok, so in other words, a Big Fucking Deal. 

So, while contemplating my next steps in reconnecting with Musings and you, I watched with saucer-sized eyes as our Ambassador of Otherness herself pushed through any reservations and fears she may have held. Per her usual method, Kristen immersed herself in Marylou’s story (‘Marylou’ is based on a lass called Luanne Henderson), attended Beatnik Bootcamp (dancing, listening to music, reading the literature of the time, watching films and discussions fostered by Kerouac, Ginsberg and Cassady). She divined her own inner mad Marylou to best connect with the motivations of a woman who was raw, wild, magnetic, simultaneously vulnerable and brimming with sexuality.

Ok, you see? She went there. She still waded through the stuff in order to genuinely experience this character. She is in the spotlight   and under extreme scrutiny every single day which I can only imagine generates an ungodly amount of stress and anxiety. She is the new face of an iconic fashion line, and she is spearheading at least two high-profile projects all while trying to maintain her connection to her family and beloveds. She moves through the here-and-now anyway. It is stunning to comprehend the level of strength it takes to do what she does. Every. Day. Are you bowing down to Royalty as I am?

“But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”

~Jack Kerouac, On The Road

Well, my Rebel Royals, this is where we’ll stop for today. I wanted to dip my toe in the water before jumping back in, cannon-ball style, and I thank you for holding the space for me to do so. We have so many more amazing adventures to review together the Hunger Games movie and seeing Marcus Foster live (tomorrow night) notwithstanding… I still want to discuss with you all the implications behind the case study we approached last time, about Empathy Erosion and the desensitization to humanity as discussed in the last Musings——>A Stew Review: Compassionate Beauty 

Also, I so very much want to return to our roots, which includes the celebratory highlight of a new Featured Royal Rebel.  I want to talk about and give the mad props deserved to a brilliant, important English bloke. You may know of him already. . .

And we will discuss and rejoice over our Rebel Queen’s continued, brilliant courageousness …Because she is The Fairest Of Them All. She consistently lights the path for Others to tread.

I look to her, and you to help me move towards what will be by honoring and foraging through what is. Because it’s how we roll. #OtherOn

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others choose to go through What Is.

Embrace your Other.

*      *      *

QUESTION: What were your thoughts on Paris Part Deux, and the On The Road trailer? Can you recall a time when you withdrew from a stressful situation only to realize that pushing through the discomfort and fear was the most direct and honest path to recovery?

A/N: Now is when I convey my gratitude to you for the time you’ve  spent in perusing my ramblings, if you indeed made it to the end of this somewhat erratic post. THANK YOU. Though I’ve been on the periphery and quieter than usual, I am here. See you very, very soon. Always, KJ

VIPs in my LIFE and for this post to be possible:

@Kate_Suena @DeeDreamer16 @maybeimrivers @robkris13

BOUFFANT

My Always-Constant CyberSisters and Readers

*Last notes*

1. Take time to check the About KJ page if you would be so inclined. I finally updated a new Sentence Completion Exercise. 

2. Visit one of my bestie’s beautiful, beautiful book blog. And come get lost in it with me. Love you, Katie. And Thank You. For everything.

I’M LOST IN A BOOK SOMEWHERE

Today’s Musical Playlist: 

Joyful Girl (live) ~ Ani DiFranco

First Breath After coma ~ Explosions in the Sky

Lullaby ~ Sia

Fires ~ Shady Bard

A Stew Review, and Stew Anew Pt III

23 Jan
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Pinterest and Google Images. Click the image for a link to pics’ origins. Very unbeta’d– any mistakes and typos in this post as well as my beautiful new beach cruiser [with gears!] belong to MEEEEEE. Musical playlist, per usual, at the bottom. While I work on regulating the posting schedule, click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO notifications in your Email…thissss-a-wayyy——>

“Do not fear going forward slowly. Fear only to stand still.” ~Chinese proverb

*Determinedly keeps eyes downcast, scuffs the toe of my Chucks in the ground*  Hi there. I truly had planned to post the Top Two Moments of The Stew Review last week, just a day or so after Part 2. I would love nothing more than to tell you all about the hoopla that contributed to the delay of posting. Maybe, when we message each other, or perhaps when I can rediscover coherency again, we’ll hash it out. But I don’t want to take any more time away from honoring and celebrating the way Kristen Stewart, our Ambassador of Other, brought the year 2011 to a close. And  you lovely, generous, patient Musers came through and submitted your thoughts on the Best Moments of Otherness for the Stew Review, for which I am eternally grateful. So let’s bring this one home, kids, yes? 

hells yeah

Ok, I know we’re missing Kristen and her devoted, lovely Robert. But my Goddess they deserve a break from the chaos that has been their life the past few months. And in the “drought” [is it really a drought, or a concept created by bored, too-invested people with few outside interests or fulfilling personal connections?] of Royal sightings, there has been a startling emergence of obscenely nutty, decidedly distant “family” members’ blogs, and a bazillion world-wide “sightings” cropping up every single hour… yawn. In other words…the usual dysfunction, I guess?

I feel it’s especially important  now to rein it in, guise. BACK.TO.THE.BASICS. What’s the use in expending energy on absurd rumors and theories when we can celebrate Unconventional Beauty and actual accomplishments amongst fellow Others and of a particularly majestic Queen?

oh yes. That's right.

A final retrospective of 2011 is essential now because we’re about to kick  Twenty-Twelve up a notch. Only a few weeks into January and already the sense of reverence and accomplishment convinces me that this year is going to be our Other Queen’s fiercest showing yet. I mean….really?

Since our last Musing session, the Spanish fashion line Balenciaga introduced the world to their new spokesmodel for their women’s fragrance . I think it is so pristinely apt that our edgy, provocative Royal Rebel was chosen as the ambassador for a line that is known for it’s cutting edge and unconventional expressions.

“Her [Kristen’s] elegant modernity and innate rebel style perfectly match with the spirit of Balenciaga.” 

~ Catherine Walsh of American Fragrance

Well, Catherine Walsh, Senior Vice President of American Fragrance for Cody Prestige, you have exquisite taste, Madame. I think the pairing of our Rebel Queen and the intriguing Balenciaga is extremely complementary. Pitch perfect, actually. What do you think of Ms Stewart’s newest gig, Lovelies?

There is something almost poetic about Kristen representing a highly influential fashion line for 2012, as she concludes her role as Isabella Swan Cullen in Breaking Dawn Part 2 within the same year . She ventured forward with first steps onto the Twilight premiere’s Red Carpet of 2008 wearing Balenciaga, after all…

In the beginning

Immortalized Impressions

Ms Stewart’s debut at the Los Angeles premiere of Twilight four years ago certainly made an impression. However, a literal impression made on November 3, 2011 at the famed Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood was Musings Readers’ second most celebrated Moment of Otherness for the 2011 MOO Stew Review. 

Now…this event was actually among my personal Top 3 Moments of Otherness as well. So I wasn’t terribly surprised that it was so high on your lists. You’ll need to tell me why this was such a significant event for you and in Kristen’s Timeline of BadAssery. I can only speak of my own ruminations as to why this hand-and-footprint concretization (does anyone else sorta laugh when it’s referred to as an Imprinting Ceremony??) ranked as an exceptional occasion…

S’been a long time, Baby.

Ms Stewart had been months-deep into filming Snow White and the Huntsman in the UK by this point. We hadn’t seen much of her except for those glorious film caps in which she was an armored, strategizing, warrior princess. 

It had been quite some time since we’d really seen Kristen…

Leeeegggggs

But in her Marios Schwab halter dress and Brian Atwood pin heels…we were smacked with a reminder real quick why just a glimpse of Kristen Stewart could be powerful enough to resuscitate the dead.

Buoyant Contentedness

I was struck by several notions when viewing the hand-printing ceremony via live stream and  in screen caps. She was unadulterated, unhindered, free. She was joy personified.

In a brief moment addressing the amorous crowd before sinking into the cement, Kristen said:

“I’ve been so enamored by this business, Hollywood…I think this is the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life!”

And later, after the ceremony in a whirlwind press junket, Kristen giddily recounted to several interviewers including the splendid @JoshuaHorowitz of MTV and Entertainment Weekly on how remarkably honored and awed she was by the experience. Her pride and grace and unhindered happiness seeped from her every pore. It was a sight to behold.

Satellites In Motion

So perhaps it was a combination of all the above: because it was such a momentous occasion, literally cementing her place in Hollywood Mythology; and because her proud friends and family were there; because she’d been away in London for months that a contented, beaming, buoyant Kristen Stewart greeted us this day. But also an unguarded, uncensored, more affectionately tactile Kristen Stewart was present. She and her buddy Taylor were as sibling-sweet as always, but it was the mutually admiring electricity between Ms Stewart and Mr Pattinson that once again, captivated.

. . .not even concrete could deny the draw between them.

must. always. be. close.

Authenticity and Congruency

So in her humble blissfulness and in light of the enormous honor bestowed upon her, our Reigning Queen did not lose her casual, grounded unique Kristen-ness on the sidewalk of that world-famous Hollywood landmark. No, instead, she quickly reeled herself in and allowed a sensibility to reside. And a new game of Spot The Rebel commenced. This may have been my favorite moment of all. Or. I dunno. I can’t pick. But the second Kristen looked to the ever-lovely Ruth for support while she removed her Brian Atwood Pin Heels to exchange them for her classic Vans…I swooned.

classic, checkered skateboarding Vans? Ruth's got yo back.

THIS event, my lovelies, was your second most celebrated Moment of Otherness for 2011’s Stew Review. The handprints, the foot prints, the giddy pride, the clasping of muddy hands…the moments of sheer adoration between Kristen and Robert…the moment when Ms Stewart tuned out the cameras and the crowds and the jetlag…and kicked off her couture heels in exchange for her flat Vans trainers.

Hey. I'm Kristen. I'm Other.

OH-kaaay…That was Moment Numero Dos. So I’ll wrap this baby up by Thursday, so we are free to rejoice the Royal Rebel awesomeness that we shall bear witness to starting this week…We’ve got a MovieFone interview with the SWATH Cast, an MTV/JoshHorowitz interview in the works…we’ve news that the blessed, the legendary, the poetic On The Road  featuring our MarylouStew is going to Cannes in May and Robert’s Bel Ami [featuring a bad, bad Duroy] is debuting at the Berlin Film Festival next month….*already beginning to hyperventilate*…
Last year was ah-may-zing, no doubt, for our Rebel Queen and her Royal Partner-In-Crime. But 2012 is going to dominate. Looking forward to riding alongside you, Lovelies. Until next time [very soon]…continue pushing onward and keeping your head above the fray. xo, KJ

Embrace your Other.

A/N:  I miss you all terribly but I assure you I am fighting tooth and nail for Musings to continue forward. I’m still here. Pesky car accidents, insurance company arguments, parental surgeries, neglectful, abusive clients and police reports be damned. I’ll see you soon to finish up The Stew Review and welcome 2012, The LalapaSTEWza, properly.

PlayList: which I’d be in jail for if SOPA/PIPA passed

Le Mar (The Ocean) ~ Beautiful Girls

Let Me Sign ~ Robert Pattinson

Such Great Heights ~ Iron and Wine

You Are What You Love ~ Jenny Lewis

Breakdown ~ Jack Johnson

The Fear You Won’t Fall ~ Joshua Radin

Muselet: Glamorous Giveaways

12 Dec

Hello, hello! I had meant to post this Muselet yesterday, but it was my one and only day off from all my jobs, and it sorta ran away from me, especially since it was the first day I’ve been upright since that Oddest But Flattening Flu hit me. So last week, I hit “Publish” on the last Musings about Hestia and Home, and  I guess Hestia was showing my tired arse how to stay down and out of trouble. I went to bed and then woke up feeling drained and confuzzled and weepy.

i may or may not have looked a little like him

Tried to show up for my job, and four hours into a shift where I stared at people struggling to decipher the language they spoke (It was English or Spanish, most definitely) and failing to respond back…that my manager sent me home. She took a look into my eyes and said, “Oh, honey. GO. HOME.” I went home and was down for over ten days in bed with a fever and an assortment of other uncomfortable symptoms.

Ok. but Im here now with a teeny-tiny Muselet to announce the Giveaway Winners from the last post. I’ll be back this Thursday for our regularly scheduled Musing session where we’ll discuss…

Oh and a quick request of you, Lovelies.  Please be sure to say hello to my dear @Buff_82 . She lit up MOO’s halls a bit with some holiday light…She’s a busy, brilliant girl who not only does stunning web design and Tumblr Edits  but she is a poetic fanfiction author to boot. And all of this while being mommy to beautiful blonde angels, and running her photography business. Yeah, she’s amazing. I mean, she did this edit for me…and let me use it as a MOO Giveaway last year, after all. @TakeMeToBliss is now the proud owner of this print.

 GODDESS GIVEAWAYS

So let’s get to the magazine winners for this contest, mmmkay? *Using the Random Integer Selector at Random.Org….

The winner of the GQ British Magazine:

—->SOLLEE!!!

And two winners of the Glamour Magazines:

—–>Joana and Hopesecho!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS, my friends!!! So let’s touch base, you lovely Winners, so we can make arrangements for your magazines to be sent to you IMMEDIATELY!!!

And I’ll see everyone else this Thursday for our usual Musing Time, okay? *Insert ridiculous pretty riiiiiight about hhheeeeeeere*

And  we’ll celebrate and lose coherency over the movie that Our Reigning Other Queen Kristen just wrapped…

See you soon, Lovelies. Until then, take care of yourselves and be kind to one another...xx, KJ

EMBRACE YOUR OTHER.

MOO Memoirs: BD or Bust Pt 2

13 Nov
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr and Pinterest. Click the image for a link to their origin. So very unbeta’d–all mistakes and typos belong to yours truly. Click the button over heee-yah to subscribe to MOO and receive new posts in your email————————————>

Welcome back to the next installment of MooDrabble, my Beloveds! 

The biggest change for me in this film [Breaking Dawn] was that Bella finally gets to be happy …there’s some genuine joy there for both her and Edward.” ~Kristen to The Chicago Sun Times

Perhaps life imitating art? That’s what hits me immediately when I view pictures or videos of the recent tremendous events occuring for our Reinging Queen Kristen as of late. Genuine. Joy.

 

There is a buoyancy and free-ness that emanates from Ms Rebel Queen herself. We explored it a little in the last full-fledged Musings in which the confident, grounded and knowing Kristen Stewart emerged from the pages of British GQ. And maybe, because she feels quite at home while in the UK these days, today’s journalists are finally discovering the authentic, light, funny and warm girl that Kristen Jaymes Stewart truly is. We Other Army Soldiers have known for eons that Kristen’s spirit glows brightly (she is a candle and a mirror after all) but in the three-plus years I’ve been apart of this community, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kristen as light and free as we see her these days. . .

why so freakin' adorable, Kris?

I had wanted to highlight two essential occasions which exhibit this infectious elation that our Majestic Misfit exhibits. Based on your kind responses to Part 1 of the MOODrabble-Memoirs, it seems that while you are overwhelmed with all the great interviews, conventions and press conferences you also choose two standout events of the past ten days that rock your socks off and showcase our Other Queen’s magic. Tell me whatcha think about….

Immortal Beloveds

Being immortalized in cement along the Hollywood Walk of Fame alongside industry legends like Marilyn Monroe, Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor and fellow Cultural Icons such as Robert’s Harry Potter colleagues Daniel, Emma and Rupert is no small feat. It’s actually quite extraordinary. Sweet, beautiful Kristen, luminous in her glorious Marios Schwab dress and sky-high Brian Atwood pumps, addressed the gathered crowd of friends, fans and family at the ceremony by saying,

“This is so crazy! I’ve been so enamored …this is the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life!”

And she is still baffled days later, as she shares in press conference interviews:

Humble, grateful and respectful she is. She understands and celebrates that collective understanding of Twilight is what it is today due to the many hands and minds that contributed to the project. Her gracious humility aside, the best thing about this huge honor from my vantage point was watching our Rebel Queen kick off those insanely sexy Atwood stilettos and swap them for a pair of VANS skateboarding shoes. It was such a vintage, Cali-girl, Kristen move. So very Other.  #OtherOn, Your Highness. Other On.

All. Hail. The. Queen. 

Secondary to a very genuine, very joyous Kristen leaving her Van-impressions behind for us to enjoy for eternity, was the uninhibited expressions of affection and adoration shared between Her Royal Highness and her Warrior Poet Partner in Crime.

Flawless Couple is flawless

And of course, I would be absolutely remiss if I did not note the gravitational pull between our Queen and her King. Not even concrete can stifle the magnetism between Robert and Kristen. In fact it only further enhances their bond. Like, for.ev.er.

The Fiercest Beauty

And before I found myself sitting on the streets of Los Angeles amongst strangers-but-not-really-since-we’re-all-in-this-together…Before I encountered the confusing and somewhat nefarious tendrils of Scummit Entertainment, I was on a plane to L.A., scribbling on Vom Bags and bouncing in my seat in excitement because I was going to see my girls Iris (@Just2CUSmile) and @RobKris13 and I was going to be present for the Black Carpet Premiere for Breaking Dawn! It wasn’t a long plane ride, but it still disallowed any Wifi usage. But as soon as the flight attendant assured us passengers that we could “now use your cell phones if they are readily available”, I turned on my trusty iPhone and immediately scanned my Twitter Timeline after replying to texts.

And my timeline was going absolutely b-a-n-a-n-a-s. And for good reason. The right reason.

O_O

The teaser trailer and some behind-the-scenes video surfaced from Entertainment Tonight around the same time that I was in flying above the clouds. When I saw that the scenes and new banners emerged online, I found myself actually running down the aisle of the plane and through the plane terminal so that I could find a quiet spot to watch the gorgeousness. I nearly sent an enthusiastically-gesturing Russian family–who was convened in front of the bathrooms–flying in all directions as if pins in a bowling alley. I NEEDED  to sit down and watch the trailer in a quiet corner.  And when I did….I wanted to weep with joy and I felt the strongest compulsion to loop the video for always and always on my phone and my computer and my….. So, I may have looped the video. 

This. This is the second happening that I attribute to Our Reigning Queen’s lightness and exuberance as of late. She is involved in a project that she is proud of. She is working for a studio that knows how to promote without the exploitation and disrespect of their linchpins. Kristen told the Twi Convention audience  last week in the Q & A Session that she is playing the ideal role now, as Snow White. She may be physically battered and bruised (as evidenced by the wrist guards and bandages and supportive braces she sports on various appendages on various days of the week) but she reports never feeling more inspired, motivated and challenged by a character before.

And it shows.

Long live The Queen.

* * *

QUESTION(S): What are your thoughts on the Grauman’s Printing Ceremony?

And..The SWATH Trailer?

Are you doing your ideal role/job? 

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