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Homage To The Firsts

24 Feb

Well hello there, my loves! I hope this essay finds you well and healthy and warm if you’re in the freezing cold part of the world, and cool if it’s hellishly hot where you are . It’s rainy and stormy here in my neck o’ the woods, and I’m happily bundled up while writing and listening to the sublime Adele (check the playlist. I’m slightly obsessed this week) sing of love and redemption. Today, we’re having a bit of a Rainy Day Pow-wow!  It’s a bit different than how I usually structure Musings, and we will not highlight a Featured Rebel today. However, I hope to reinstate weekly postings next week, and I will commemorate this by highlighting the deliciously unique and glorious Other Queen, Helena Bonham Carter. Sound good? Soooo without further adieu, lets get on with our Otherness Kumbaya, shall we?

Happiness is when you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Gandhi

After I had finally, finally decided on a major in college, I enrolled in a class that was a graduation requirement for my field of study (counseling psychology), the start of my junior year. I had just turned 20 (Kristen’s age now).  For MOO’s purposes, we’ll refer to the class as Communication and Collaboration or C & C for short. Though I didn’t know it at the time, I had enrolled myself in the most catalytic, revolutionary class of my life. What was this class? Can’t be categorized, as it drew from teachings in various disciplines: sociology, psychology, criminology, business and…. Kindergarten. No, seriously. I sat in a circle with eight other people and caught a refresher course on the basic essentials of socialization and etiquette: turn-taking, sharing, listening before speaking and cultural sensitivity. If we had a designated “snack time” and “nap time”, it really would be like Kindergarten.

Arts and Crafts Time

Each week, nine of us fellow academics along with two co-leading peers would discuss and share our thoughts, concerns and reactions surrounding a myriad of topics including: career, relationships, love, loss and ambition. We all derived from different backgrounds, cultures, ethnicities, and fields of study but once a week for 2+ hours we would convene to share a piece of our personal value systems with each other. I suppose it’s similar in concept to group therapy, but with more of a book club vibe. However, instead of discussing the latest best sellers, we’d  trade stories about our experiences and ideas that shaped our personalities. I always believed that we (the world) could live in a peaceful utopia if everybody  participated in two events: One, attend and work through a C & C class; and, two, work in customer service, preferably in the restaurant business. Because let’s face it: people just don’t know what it’s like until they experience it for themselves. And even then, people don’t quite see how to apply the newfound knowledge to others’ situations….

Is it really wise for you to antagonize the one who brings your food to you?

So why am I telling you about the life-changing class called C & C and encouraging you all to get food-serving positions? Well, I’ve just basically shared my core motivator for writing Musings. I wanted to create a place, like C & C, in which people from differing backgrounds, ages, and experiences could come together and  share different interpretations and reactions to events that are important to us, i.e. Royal Rebelliousness, Bliss Pursuit, Kristen Stewart’s Steeze, and have a respectful dialogue regardless if we share the same opinions or not. When we realize that we all have differing perspectives  but on universal, common themes, it removes the stigma of the “Unknown” (Demonized Other, Alien) Factor.  Perhaps it eliminates the reason for insulting, bullying, tearing down of others…? I learned that we have filters through which we view everything. Our childhood experiences, our current interactions, our culture, our family, all shape how we view and respond to situations. It’s our conditioning. See, here in the land of MOO, we’ve talked about perspective before. We’ve acknowledged that no single one of us has the exact same reaction to a certain situation, and we certainly recognize that we have very strong inclinations towards protectiveness when it comes to our Reigning Queen Kristen.

Back to the Beginning

According to a Psychology Today article entitled “Heartbreak and Home Runs: The Power of First Experiences”, our first experiences are formidable enough to shape our whole character, our  adult personalities. Elation and heartache we encountered in our younger years may hold the key to why and how we react the way we do as adults, why we make the decisions we do, why we’re fascinated with whom or what we’re fascinated with (clears throat)…

So today’s Musings is dedicated to the exploration of Firsts: ours, and Other Queen Kristen’s. A reason for a stroll down memory lane? Well, for one thing, my incredibly brilliant Cyber Sister Readers and I were exchanging  our own stories of first loves and first kisses, prompted by particular fan fiction stories we’re reading (taking a moment to rec and love on the story A Quiet Fire by @Magnolia822) and with 3D happenings in our families.

Another reason for the nostalgia: our Majestic Misfits Kristen and Rob have returned to British Columbia this week, to complete the final months of filming for the last installments of the Twilight Saga. Not only am I struck with moments of, “remember when K and R were in Vancouver the first time two years ago?” and reminded that Vancouver is one of my favorite cities in the world too, but I’m also aware that I’m more irritable and have an increased need to preserve and safeguard Kristen, Rob and their cast mates against the Vultures and overzealous critics and “fans”. See what I mean? I’m influenced by what I witnessed and experienced from Vancouver before…

Oh that's right. They're so THRILLED to be hunted down.

Baton Rouge, from where the cast just returned, served as a quieter, less-intrusive backdrop for our Queen Other and her Ninja partner Rob, and while we didn’t receive minute-to-minute commentaries on their every move, I was infinitely happier because I knew that Kristen and Rob had semblance of privacy, which is not necessarily the case in Van City.  Amongst VulturePapz fighting re: the order in which the actors disembarked from their airplanes, also bonafide set stalkers and the resurgence of Nerdy Bloggers and pretentious “insiders”, it isn’t any mystery that the only glimpse we’ve had of Kristen is one pic of her running to her car with a jacket over her head.

I’m not sure what first experiences justifies how the BullShit People and obsessed gossip bloggers can harass our girl, why they cannot seem to grant Kristen the space to acquaint herself with her own adventures. Were they picked on as children? Did they never have a moment of wanting privacy, of silence? I humbly request that we Others all reflect, C & C -style, upon our own journeys before we lose the capacity to be compassionate and nonjudgmental. Before we lose our own personal connection with the meaningful experiences in our lives. Shall we take a stroll?

FIRST FALLINGS

Some of these Firsts are featured in the Sentence Completion Section on the About KJ Page. If you feel moved to do so, answer the prompts with as much or as little detail as you prefer…

First Job: Our lovely Reigning Other Queen was working at age nine. What were you doing at age nine? Kristen had her first role (non-speaking) in the film Thirteenth Year. Next up came a supporting role opposite Patricia Clarkson in The Safety of Objects.

Of course, it was her first starring role as Sarah Altman, daughter to Jodie Foster in director David Fincher’s (The Social Network) Panic Room that earned Kristen praise from critics and created a friend, mentor, protector and advocate of Jodie Foster. It was Foster who ultimately recommended our lovely Queen Kristen for the pivotal roles to the filmmakers of of Into the Wild and The Yellow Handkerchief.

So while our Beatific Rebel was making business contacts and earning fans among the Hollywood Elite in her first jobs, most other kids her age were enjoying the wonders of being able to write cursive for a year (in America, we learn cursive in 3rd grade, approx eight years old), and maybe, maybe  celebrate participation in a junior soccer league or ballet (my brother Chew was the former, I was the latter).

My first job was at a sporting goods store. Yep. I was seventeen years old, a senior in high school, and helping folks pick out their ideal first pair of rollerblades (and subsequent knee pads and the crucial but overlooked wrist guards). Lookie here, I’m like Bella Swan working at Newton’s Outfitters! Minimum wage was maybe $7/hr which meant I could satisfy my newest obsessions: vintage Levi’s and tickets to Tori Amos concerts.

First Public Acknowledgement/Award: With the breakthrough role in Panic Room, Kristen received the first of four nominations for The Young Artist Award. It was for her role in the aching and beautiful Into the Wild for which Kristen won the award.  She was sixteen years old and enjoying critical praise from colleagues and journalists for her solid, “sensitive performance” in the film. And she unwittingly attracted the curiosity of a certain British musician named Robert. This would be an essential development in Kristen’s professional and personal timeline.

When I was sixteen, I was pretty stoked to be a licensed driver and a junior in high school. I did receive special accolades for my ability to string words together in English classes, and I was extremely proud to have won a scholarship for my essay on an encounter with a drunk driver.

First Encounter with Separation of Self And Other: Ah see, this one is pretty heavy, I think. First realization that we are Other…The understanding that we are “supposed” to adhere to structure and conform to predetermined norms based on our age, our gender, our culture, our school…our family, can be especially shattering. It’s the moment when we realize that we have an idea of who we are, and that idea is challenged by someone or something else. This realization can have such a profound effect at times pushing us into almost existential questioning. It’s the basic acknowledgement that there is judgment, there are structures, and there are rules, and that we don’t want agree. Also, we learn that people can be harsh. This is the time period–commonly in early adolescence, though really it could occur any time, any age–when our bodies, our beliefs, our relationships, our chemical makeup undergo significant changes. Gasp! Suddenly we’re aware of the opposite sex..and body odor..It’s puberty and it can be brutal.

Things can swing from THIS…..

Rainbows, Unicorns and best friends forevsies

to this….kinda quickly

Our lovely Ms Stewart herself spoke once about the cruelty of her peers at her school when she finished filming Panic Room. Classmates snubbed her, made taunting remarks to her and kept her on the periphery of acceptance. Certainly, since Kristen would be away on such long breaks to film, the separation from her peers didn’t foster opportunities to create the bonds that could be there if she were in regular attendance . Hence the beginning of her separateness, The Otherness. She eventually chose to receive home schooling to complete her education.

How anyone could alienate or snub this lovely girl, I do not understand. Oh wait. It's STILL fucking happening!

I first understood this shift from obliviousness to uber awareness of a social order  in the summer between before sixth grade. I was on a week-long trip to Washington D.C., away from my family for the first time, across the country. I realized I had developed a fascination with one of the older boys in our tour group, and he had a “girlfriend”, since, you know, he held her hand as we walked through The Smithsonian. He had darker skin, like I did, but his girlfriend was fair and light skinned, and the contrast in coloring was simply beguiling to me. Remember, I had been raised by a Swiss/German family, so I was used to seeing the exotic contrasts of light and dark when I viewed family portraits. I just hadn’t seen it anywhere else outside of my own situation.

Well, after staring at this lovely boy and his lovely girlfriend for goddess knows how long, the jig was up, and I was about to get yanked out of my self-centered revelry. BAM. It’s not just me anymore. The boy loudly hissed at me, in front of the entire tour group:

“WHY DO STARE AT ME SO MUCH? WHY?”

And when one his buddies joked that it was because I must have wanted to “go around” with him (is that what you called it when you were 10 or 11? Going around? Going Steady?), to my utter humiliation, the boy threw back his head and guffawed. Laughed his stupid head off.

“EWWW. SHE’S YOUNGER…AND SHE’S NOT CUTE”

To add lemon to the paper cut, the following year found me grappling with an assortment of  Yearbook Honors (Most Ambitious, Class Clown, Cutest, etc). A yearbook misprint placed the title of “CUTEST” over my picture instead of “BEST PERSONALITY”–the award I preferred and had actually won. The final weeks of school were filled with people whispering and blatantly disputing the vote. Ah yes. Good times. See a little bit more why I declined the Other Homecoming Queen nominations to follow? I should have known then and there at the tender age of 13 that I could not trust the media and to harden my skin. Goodness. I have so much admiration for what Kristen does every single day of her life. My pain has consisted of having to contend with minor misunderstandings and whispers at my back. Kristen must dart away from Stalkerazzi and is aware through Google that people really, really dislike her outfit from last night, this morning and right at this moment. Kristen Stewart is SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME. #KSIBTM #KSIBTU

First Love: While I’m not versed in Kristen’s personal life, because she’s asked for her personal life to remain private, rightfully so, I feel safe enough in saying she has been a prominent feature in the idea of First Love at least since the casting news was announced that the iconic role of Bella Swan would be portrayed by the seventeen-year-old indie actress… Whether it’s because we’ve witnessed her embodiment of the the quintessential EveryGirl Bella Swan falling in love, or the evolvement of her very unique bond with Robert Pattinson over the years, Kristen Stewart has, for me, represented love in a very relatable, genuine way.

I had crushes that came and went, starting with my 7th grade boyfriend (he was The Edward Cullen of Middle School with otherworldly beauty and charisma) all the way through high school and my first year in college in which I pined for a boy who pined for my oblivious best friend. Of course as soon as he realized I’d do anything to be the recipient any fleeting attention he tossed my way, I set myself up for a world of pain. The less about him the better, perhaps. My brother still holds a grudge against him, and I’m pretty sure the boy reads Musings. As does, occasionally, the boy who I would qualify as my First Love, or more accurately, “The Boy I Think Is Love” because he looked good on paper, but didn’t make much sense anywhere else. I was eighteen when we started dating, but I actually broke up with him once I figured out my shit with the help of that C & C class I took. One more endorsement for introspection and clarifying values, I guess?

First Philanthropy: With the help of the recent stunning Vogue article, we know that Kristen has philanthropic goals that are profound and inspiring. But long before her hopes for building a halfway house network were verbalized, our Royal Rebel has displayed her charitable and compassionate nature byway of her endorsement of raising awareness of sexual assault when she was quite young, age 13, as she portrayed Melinda, a selectively-mute date-rape survivor in the movie Speak.

Courtesy of the brilliant Tumblr by absofreakinlutely

In a move foreshadowing more philanthropic work, Ms Stewart took time to film a public service announcement in 2009  for Security On Campus (SOC) designed to encourage awareness about sexual assault, drawing attention to the frequency it occurs on college campuses. The statistics are pretty sobering: Every 2 minutes someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted, and 1 out of 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape. Knowledge and awareness of these facts is powerful, and I admire Ms Stewart for contributing her voice and time to the promotion of knowledge about sexual assault.

>>>Click this pic to see Kristen's PSA Video<<<

I’ve watched with growing amazement at the generosity and creativity of Twilight Fanfiction communities in their efforts to raise awareness and funding for charities for relief (Fandom for Floods, for the recent Australian floods; Fandom Against Domestic Violence) and for health and spirit (Alex’s Lemonade Stand for Childhood Cancer; Fandom Fights Mental Health Issues, Autism Awareness, among many). I wanted to take a quick moment to highlight a charity event that is taking place now, one of personal significance as well as a larger importance society. In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (April), led by a friend of mine, @Aylah50, and another lovely author @ColdplayWhore are hosting a fandom event which serves to educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence. This primary prevention approach helps to create environments where people are safe in their relationships, families, neighborhoods, schools, work places and communities. Check out the website (click the badge below) for more information on how you can contribute and lend your voice, as our Other Ambassador Kristen has, to the sharing of knowledge.

Fandom4saa.wordpress.com

First Falling For Kristen: I alluded to first falling into Kristen in earlier posts and on the Origins of Musings page, but I haven’t really spoken to how she became my Reigning Other Queen. I had first seen her in Panic Room but I didn’t realize it was her. It was summertime 2008, and I knew Twilight was being adapted to film. I heard that Kristen was cast in the lead female role, but I hadn’t made the connection yet. I caught maybe 30 minutes of In The Land Of Women on HBO one afternoon, and I remember being struck with the beauty and passion of Kristen’s character Lucy, but again, I didn’t know. Seriously, I should probably have my KristenFan Card revoked right now with that admission.

I didn’t truly get it until I caught a glimpse of the famous Larry Carroll MTV Interviews  (Twilight Tuesdays) in which she carried herself with poise and a grounded-ness that was so refreshing. And then I read the Vanity Fair Q & A and fell in love with her direct answers and her obvious intelligence. Of course, pictures like this, depicting her lightness of spirit and chemistry with Rob…I was breathless.

My championing of this Royal Rebel only increased by leaps and bounds as Twilight was released, as well as the backlash of criticism of Kristen’s interviewing skills, her frenetic energy, her refusal to participate in media training. As I heard all of these “offenses” I was thoroughly convinced that she is the coolest. chica. evah. Uncompromising. Unapologetically genuine. Steadfast. . . .And you? When did you First Fall for Kristen?

Well, as I cautioned, today’s MOO was going to be slightly different in structure and tone. Maybe I’m inspired to chat with you all on a more personal level because I’ve felt further away than usual, with my staggered posting schedule, or maybe it’s the rainy weather. Perhaps the return of Kristen and Rob to Vancouver, wrapping up a film project that has been so influential and integral in our lives these past three years is the trigger. I was curious also how the people who stalk and bash and hound Kristen and Rob in Vancouver can justify their behavior–have they forgotten what it was like to be a young person on a new job assignment? Have they lost their abilities to empathize? Do their encounters with First experiences influence their current actions, or have they forgotten the significance of their Firsts altogether? Just wonderin’…..Or maybe it’s the introduction of AmishRob that has sent everyone into a tailspin? *shrugs*

(c) absofreakinlutely tumblr

Meanwhile, my hope is to continue to remind myself and my fellow Others that as we continue to blaze forth on our paths towards integration and bliss, that it’s a good thing, a healthy practice, to revisit our beginnings. Today’s Musings is the forty-first essay. I’m simply amazed by that. Forty-one essays celebrating Unconventional Beauty, awkwardness, rebelliousness and Otherness…of rejoicing over the epicness that is an actress and Rebel Queen named Kristen.

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others do not lose sight of the significance of Firsts.

Embrace your Other.

*

Question: I’ve tons of ’em here and in the Sentence Completion portion of About KJ. Tell me about your firsts…

*

A/N: For Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness Info, visit the website: http://fandom4saa.wordpress.com/

See you next week, my lovelies. Thanks for all your tweets, emails and kindness as I was recovering from what felt like Typhoid. xo, KJ

A KStew absence makes the heart grow fonder

4 Aug

Yes I know. It stings a bit. There is an emptiness and an ache during these Kristen-less days. The last public sighting we have of Kristen is from the bowling alley and that quirky-cool man’s reference to Kristen as “that punky chick from Twilight“.Thank the Goddess for these newly released EW outtakes (outtake because there is just too much Pretty?)

and peeps say she doesn’t smile. pffft.

Also thank The Goddess again for the soothing (at least for me, anyway) knowledge that Kristen is not on the streets dodging Vulture-Papz because instead she’s safely ensconced and immersed in her current job: filming On the Road. I am so pleased to know that Kristen is submerged in a new role, and it’s just an added bonus that the role is of one of the fair and feisty Marylou in the Kerouac classic. Filming began on Monday in beautiful Montreal, and word on the street is that these first days dive into some of the grittiest moments between the threesome. While writing this essay, pretty UH-MAY-ZING casting news surfaced: Viggo Mortensen (um, YESSSS) and Amy Adams are joining the cast for On the Road! Talk about high calibre projects!! Kristen has been attached to filming OTR for a couple years now, and I can only imagine how excited and thrilled she is with the way this film is shaping up. I personally feel this film has the makings of legend, much like the book on which it is based. Ok..but anyhoo, we know what Kristen is doing, and it is so much greater than anything I can claim to have done. But with Kristen out of the spotlight, and Rob waving goodbye to the WFE set yesterday, what can we Muse about, lovelies? mmm. lemmmeee think…lemme think….

Helllooo, Garrett. Road tripping with you will NOT be a problem.

Return of the King indeed, Mr Mortensen

Idle hands make…

Well, some folks have certainly found new topics to muse about…In these brief moments where Kristen has been out of the limelight, bewildering events have occurred amongst the fandom. The Not-A-Fans and the Disturbingly Focused folks managed to assist in the creation then subsequent spreading of false stories about Kristen, and Kristen herself is not available to clarify. Plus, absence leaves lots of room for elaboration by the especially creative storytellers. Sadly, those are the tamer actions of the idle and the bored. The most distressing actions I’ve witnessed above all, happened within these past two days.

 

Some “fans” were quite busy offering distractions in the form of petty tweet-wars; libelous, vile photo manipulations; side-choosing in arguments that they created regarding whether they know more private information about Kristen and Rob than other people. This same information that Kristen and Rob themselves have worked so excruciatingly hard to keep private.  

 

 

 

 

 

I won’t spend more than a moment thinking too hard about it all, because I have more fulfilling Musings to entertain, but out of a mental health professional’s curiosity, I ask:

WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?

People who refer to themselves as “fans”, but whom are also engaged in this harmful, hurtful behavior towards both Kristen and Rob and their supporters:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you unhappy?

Is it anxiety, boredom, or a shattered spirit? Needing a power boost? Do you simply stir the pot while your favorite target is indisposed, because you need something to do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The arrows will only go away…
When I cause trouble with KStew and Rob fans.
The arrows will only go away….
If I draw their chaos elsewhere…

 

Dr Glenn R Shiraldi is an author, Pentagon faculty member and university professor, with an expertise in stress management and self esteem. It is from his work The Self Esteem Workbook from which I draw some of my thoughts about the harmful self-proclaimed “fans”. Per Dr Shiraldi and Coopersmith, People with efficient self-esteem tend to be healthier, friendlier, more expressive, more active, more self-trusting, trusting of others, and holding little to NO hostility. Makes sense. Essentially, the more assured and grounded one is in her own decisions and beliefs, the less likely she is to harbor distrust and hostility. So could this be a key contributing factor to the hate and need for destruction that some of these Vultures, Not-a-Fans and BullShit People feel towards a young woman and a young man who just happen to be public figures? A great absence of security and conviction in self? Perhaps. In my years of providing therapy as well as receiving it, I did learn one significant concept:


 

It is impossible to obtain true inner strength and confidence when one is searching outside the self for it. Moreover, it’s a disservice to everyone when malicious intentions are injected into the Great Wide Open. Why tempt the Omnipresent Consequence??

 

Uh, Me? Meet Confidence.

 

Basically it means all the energy poured into role-playing MEAN GIRLS by creating high school hierarchies within this supposedly “supportive” community, detracts from the energy in supporting betterment of humanity and oneself… It also detracts from enjoying the gifts of a precocious woman and a soulful man that are the most unique, intelligent and atypical talents we’ve had the pleasure of observing in many, many years. Which is truly too bad.

 

TIME’S. UP.

 

 

 

I’m done giving any more of today’s Musings to the contemplation of motivation behind unprovoked attacks on our Royal Rebels. I transition out of this convo by saying: Dear idle, bored, and anxious folks out there, let us please commence with remembering why Kristen is our Other Queen, and celebrate all her Offenses of Otherness that are blueprints for accessing our own Majestic Misfit-ness.

 

Kristen looks in a mirror every single day.
Do you?

The Beauty that Kristen brings

So I say, as I have from day one, instead of focusing on any absence or perceived shortcoming of our Reigning Other Queen, let’s focus on the beauty and goodness that has enhanced our lives as a result of being a Kristen Stewart supporter. My world Pre-KStew Discovery was lovely, entertaining and exciting, sure. But my world Post-KStew Discovery is just more. In the past two years that I’ve been on the Twilight and Team Kristen rollercoaster, I have been infinitely blessed. As I wrote last week, my appreciation of Rob and Kristen ultimately brought me to the creation of Musings, therefore, you Beatific Rabble Rousers.

Since discovering and becoming a supporter of Kristen Jaymes Stewart, I have met the nicest, kindest most passionate people from all corners of the world. I mean, I’m a traveler, and have been to a few pretty exotic places, but it wasn’t until joining Team Kristen and Team Other, that I’ve truly met the most gifted and beautiful people in the world. I speak on a daily basis with some of my Cyber Sisters and Readers, more than I speak to my own family, outside of my husband. I read FAN FICTION! The glorious, smutty, brilliant creations of daydream believers and warrior poets. I exchange late-night texts and tweets with my fellow fiction addicts while we sob into the last tissues in the house, and nibble on Toblerone chocolate while discussing the virtues and complications of Mob Life.

Dear: EP, I don’t know how, I don’t know when it became so.
But you OWN me. That is all.
Love, Me.

Since creating and Musings and spearheading the campaign to defend my fellow Others like you, Kristen, Rob, and this week’s featured Rebel, Ryan Gosling, I see brilliant moments of “Other” everywhere. Opportunities to take the atypical path, make an unconventional decision, take a chance on idea I wouldn’t always. When I was out to dinner one night with Kathryn, My Welsh beauty and “Manager”, our waitress put her two hands behind her back and said to us, “Pick one. Odd? Or Even?”
Can you guess which one I picked? The waitress handed me some lovely candy and my silver setting for the evening. And we ended up having an soulful conversation about pursuing the art of Creative Living. But you know what? When given the choice, I will always, always, choose “ODD”.

Odd has never looked sooo sooo right.

I have almost daily, conversations with soul mates and kindreds. This was a conversation that Cynically Convivial of KStew Is Better Than You I had a while back. It went something like this:


Me: I feel like I have so much to learn each day. Each day brings me something new. I love it.


CC: I love to learn. I love words. I love books. My dad always tells us that if you didn’t learn ONE thing by the end of the day then you’ve failed as a citizen of the world.


Me: Oh I love that. I move through each day with a similar guiding energy.


CC: One of my dad’s favorite quotes, by W. Markiewicz is: “Its better to be an authentic loser than a false success, and to die alive than to die dead.” It’s how I became obsessed with the phrase “Own It”. I know what my flaws are. I know everything that’s wrong with me, and I own it.


Me: Much like our girl Kristen. You, my lovely, are a Rebel Queen as well.


CC: Kristen appreciates authenticity and different-ness. I appreciate her unwillingness to concede.


Then I write stuff like this in the sand in Kauai.

Let’s continue to build our Rebel Army, as we began a couple months ago with the first-ever Musings, shall we?

Featured Royal Rebel: Ryan Gosling

This soulful, soft-spoken, unassuming man was born and raised in London, Ontario, Canada. Having no formal performance training, Ryan found himself snagging the spot in The New Mickey Mouse Club alongside fellow Mouseketeers Justin Timberlake, Keri Russell, and Christina Aguilera. Okay, maybe you don’t recognize him from his awe-inspiring singing and dancing with the MMC (or maybe you do?), but you probably do recognize him here:

He garnered critical acclaim for his work in films such as Murder By Numbers (a role in which he played a teen aged murderer) and The Believer in which he played a Jewish Neo-Nazi before he landed the role as Noah in his most mainstream movie to date, The Notebook. His propensity for choosing unusual, broken and imperfect (Other) characters in smaller independent films before choosing to work in a well-known film is a very similar trajectory as our Reigning Other Queen Kristen. According to Internet Movie Database, Ryan was a victim of teasing and bullying when in grammar school, and was relegated to home schooling until he was 16 years old and his family moved to Los Angeles, CA. In California, his high school nickname, appropriately so, was: “Trouble”. He dropped out of high school at age 17, and went to New Zealand to work on the TV show Young Hercules.


A gifted guitarist and singer in his band Dead Man’s Bones, Ryan has quietly but steadily gained admirers in colleagues and industry critics alike. Our own Poet Warrior Rob Pattinson includes himself among Ryan’s fans. He was nominated for an Academy Award and became the recipient of the Independent Spirit Award for his work in Half-Nelson, in which he played a heroin-addicted high school teacher. He received critical and public praise for his role as Lars in my personal favorite Gosling film: Lars and the Real Girl, in which he portrays a socially awkward and painfully shy man who claims a blow up doll as his girlfriend. He is compelling and gently surprising in his contrasting roles: a self-proclaimed traveler and lover of solitude. He is both the advocate for freedom of Darfur refugees under the reign of a murderous army; and, a partner in a Beverly Hills restaurant serving Moroccan food. He walks the line of appearing in small independent Indie films as well as big-budgeted Hollywood productions. In a move I find magical, he chose at one point to live alone in a south central Los Angeles apartment because he felt “closest to real people” there, and because the Vulture-Papz would not seek him out.

Offenses of Otherness:

*Introspective and methodological
*Quiet and Press Shy
*Articulate and flinchingly honest
“Do something that you’re afraid of, at least once”

Our NinjaStew frequently tackles something she’s admittedly afraid of: Red Carpet events flanked by aggressive, insulting paparazzi.

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

Our reigning Ambassador of Other has a drive and dedication that is both bewildering and impressive. Her colleagues and past cohorts have expressed concern for Kristen’s health, as she completely embodies the characters she portrays. Because she “cannot project feelings she herself does not possess”, New Moon director Chris Weitz says, “I have found myself concerned for her at moments”. She quite infamously carries a spot-on “bullshit detector” and can identify false friends and inauthentic souls immediately. This translates into her ability to run through scenes with several pages of dialogue, and finding the one moment in which it rings untrue. Catherine Hardwicke, Twilight director laughs, “There was quite a bit of rewriting on set. Kristen will not say any dialogue that she cannot respect”.

Offenses of Otherness:

*Self Assured and confident in self
*Refuses to downplay her intelligence
*Only accepts projects she wholly believes in
“Nobody cares more than I do”

Offensive Together

Instead of letting fissures and fractures deter or define our community, I say we choose “odd” and seek reminder of all the common characteristics we actually share with our Rebel Royals, our Hellcat Misfits. Because I observed and then wrote about, to finally internalize so many of Kristen’s “Beauty Marks” and “Offenses of Otherness”, there is no way in hell I’m going to discard the valuable lessons now. Kristen and Rob, and Ryan, all our Ambassadors are moving forward, living their own lives, embracing and representing Other. We should be doing the same. And with all the blessings that supporting Team Other has brought me, why would I ever dwell on any negativities? Its ALL good here.

Because I will always choose the unconventional path, and feel compelled towards “Odd”, I am a Royal Rebel.
Because he gracefully and consistently embodies several contradicting roles, Ryan is an Ambassador of Other.
Because she will never speak a word–whether in-role or in every day life–that does NOT resonate with her personal truth, Kristen is our Reigning Other Queen.


I am Other.

Ryan is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others will not search outside themselves,

for confidence that resides within.

Embrace your Other.


Question: How has being on Team Kristen blessed you?

A/N: How is GrooveShark working out for you, my lovelies? If the music is important to you, and you’re struggling with the mechanics of the widget, let me know, ok? Just like you let me know when the comment sections fucking up the flow.

Birthday wishes to my girls: @Randommama who was not feeling well AT. ALL for weeks, and she couldn’t really celebrate her own day. Happy Birthday, my Sister. To Iris: @Just2CUSmile and Amy @EvaLola80, I love you girls and even though we’ve distance between us, you are close always. Happy Birthday.

To my CyberSisters/Readers: You give me energy, inspiration, passion and guidance, and this is just when talking about FOOD! Your support of Musings and Team Other transcends and you school me every day in daily blessings.

Julie, my constant. You KNOW. My Possum Besties, you inspire. ClogWieldingQueen, you honor me.
Buff_82. You bring so much pretty. I need your address. Seriously. Bellasmummy86, kisses and gropes. Kindred. And to my soul sisters, and reasons for me to be BETTER: Bouffant and CynicallyConvy, NONE of this is possible without you. I wouldn’t even know how to begin if you weren’t holding my hands.
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