Tag Archives: Happy Birthday Kristen

Dear Kristen

25 Apr
A/N: The images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr and Imagebam.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image for a link to its origins. Totally unbeta’d, so any mistakes and stumbles belong to MEEEEEE. Musical playlist, per usual, at the bottom. Click the “Sign Me Up!” button in the side panel to receive MOO updates in your Email…right. over. heeee-yah——>

Dear Kristen

Dear Kristen,

I can understand on a very personal level that pain and anguish can trigger spellbinding creativity. At the very least, conflict and confrontation sparks a need to respond–hell, it’s why I began writing this little blog in the first place, almost 2 years ago. Today is my four year wedding anniversary, eliciting a sappy, nostalgic mood. I recall that it was April 2008, four years ago,  that I  foraged into the Twilight Community for the first time. [See –>  Origins Of Musings Page  ] And it was two years ago in 2010 that I began formulating the beginnings of what would be Musings On Other Queens ..[See–> The First Ever Musings] Big deals happening all over the place, I’m telling you. *winking at Josie Belle Cullen and @CaraNoFic*

Hello, Cover Girl

Okay, so Kristen, it’s 2008, and suddenly you are omniscient. I simply could not remain silent about the unfounded, unfair and oft times vitriolic criticism  that also instantaneously emerged. Your name was uttered in households the world over…[I’m searching for the word….iconic?] and you were the most beguiling [divisive?] topic of discussion,  simply because you accepted a new job in your already impressive career. I could be wrong, but I don’t know that you ever, in your wildest imagination, anticipated the maelstrom that resulted from your decision to portray the role of a seventeen-year-old human girl who fell in love with a vegetarian vampire. I don’t know that you had foreseen [and who could have?] that your mere attendance at a desert music festival this weekend would lead  to new shrines and discussion boards…But for the record: You do look fantastic. And by that I mean: healthy, jubilant, inspired and amorous. Luminous. Congratulations on your face and that smile, btw. And P.S. way to rock the short-shorts, baby.

Sooo, as I was saying: I completely get that conflict and heartache certainly can be a catalyst for the creation of something big, phenomenal, even. However, this month, as your second year in your second decade of life commenced, I witnessed how positivity and love  took center stage and emerged into a Celebration. You, my friend, are the reason for countless gratitudes so many hold, and that I myself have procured over the years. During your birthday week, I sat back and stared in wonderment as people–thousands, probably hundreds of thousands, maybe millions? of people–stepped forward and found their voices to express their admiration for you, because you came into being. Because you exist.

I had never been more in love with this community than I was that week. You’ve probably seen these, but they’re worth a second or twenty-second glance… oh my, my the talent.

Team Kristen Site’s Birthday Projecthttp://tksbdayproject.tumblr.com/

@Fiorel90’s Birthday Video: 

@KSIBTU’s 22: Best Of Kristen

There Are Places I Remember 

A little over three weeks ago, I posted the first new Musings On Other Queens, KStew and Unconventional Beauty [yes, I full-named myself]  memo after two months of being…away. It was glorious and painstaking and tedious all at once. I had taken a hiatus, because heartbreak in my personal life was affecting my ability to create. I came back because you and your fearless pursuit to know and honor Marylou  of the seminal On The Road film project helped equip me with the lady balls to plow forward, onward. But it was brutal. I cannot lie, these past few months have been absolutely awful. 

These days, I swing wildly between elation and terror. You  have provided me this courage to follow through on my wild, maybe unreasonable, whimsy to pursue a smorgasbord of Bliss. Last week, I went to a formal job interview, the first in over a year, for a supervisor/trainer position at a counseling agency  which provides support and encouragement to teenagers in neglected and underserved communities. It’s an end-of-the-line intervention before said teens turn to gangs, drugs and prostitution in their desperation for obtaining the feeling of safety, belonging and home. 

this sunrise greeted me after a very dark night

I hadn’t walked into the interview with any expectations. I have a good thing going for me right now; I didn’t need  (nor want) to return to bureaucracy, and certainly not after my experience with my previous job, at Bastard Nation. But I went in for the interview anyway, and the directors provided hope and fresh perspective and I suddenly felt excitement for working with community agencies again. And they wanted me for my Other characteristics–my physical features, my youth, my unconventional perspectives. You are the catalyst who imbued the bravery I needed to even consider returning to the field, Kristen. You. 

Call it the Royal Rebel Effect

Additionally, I have taken some major steps towards developing and expanding my private practice into a consulting business which would incorporate group discussions, webinars and training on grief, empowerment and resilience, my areas of expertise. This means that I am putting my credibility [and my face!!] on the line and online to share what I know (whether inherently or due to years of training and nurturing) with an audience outside of my perfect, bubble-wrapped Musings world. Like…on YouTube and shit. Vulnerable much? I’ve got my own demons to fight, my girl, but the point is: I am owning it. I am pushing through what is to get to where I want to be. Just as you do on a daily basis. #OwnIT

gpoM

For People and Things That Went Before…

The second gratitude I have as a result of your existence is the goodness you bring via your admirers and supporters. They’re the best, Kristen, I swear to you. I know I’m biased, but I’ve been around long enough to see exceptional people exhibiting [mirroring your own?]  extraordinary qualities. Four years ago, when I tip-toed unsuspectingly into the Twilight community via MTV interviews and E!Online lurkfests, I didn’t know. I didn’t fully understand the enormity and passion that you incited in people. I still am stunned by it today, honestly. But by chatting with people, watching YouTube fanvids, by meeting my CyberSisters and Readers face-to-face, I found the most incredible people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. After writing the first Musings, I received poignant, empowering emails and letters from Readers around the world. People who sought an authentic connection and held pride in representing the deviants, the Awkward Ones, the unconventional, The Others. I’ve gained lifelong, best friends and sources for inspiration. We were/are all bound by the protectiveness and admiration we hold for you, and for Robert, and your unwavering mission of authenticity.

The Kids have Chosen. YOU win.

I talk to some of these amazing people every day. EVERY. DAY. I speak to my CyberSisters and Readers more than I do my family. I have never met a more vibrant, brilliant, compassionate group of people than I have in my association with this community, the Supportive Kristen Community. And oh my gawd they’re amazing. Not only in their support of YOU, but of ME, and in OTHERS everywhere…Because they remind me every day that Other is everywhere.

Love of Mad Ones, the ones who burnburnburn, via Sydney, AUS ~@Mel452

Finding the courage to take risks, to follow Bliss via Portugal ~ @dizzy_ladybug

expression through music and cultural pride via Indonesia ~ @Ichaluvcat

Reminders that authenticity is Other is Beautiful via Florida, USA ~ @that_bitch101

…In my life, I’ve Loved Them All

As do you, Ms Stewart. You model for us a congruent Otherness that is unparalleled. You have been a pristine Ambassador of Other for Musings. You have been both a candle  burning steadily and a mirror, reflecting the luminosity of Royal Rebels abound. You have worn the crown on your head, even through turbulent waters, gracefully and relentlessly. 

I had no inkling of an idea that I would stumble into the cavernous treasure trove of possibility, friendship, support, love, passion and courage when I joined the murmured discussion about a young woman named Kristen Stewart all those years ago. But today I can see that it was serendipitous that I did. This little Musings  Letter is merely my attempt at expressing sentiments that are nearly impossible to articulate–my utmost gratitude for the existence of you. Thank you. You have beatified my life profoundly, and probably obliviously. I bow down in awe, humility and respect to you, nonetheless. Happy Birthday, Kristen Jaymes Stewart.

Love and Light, KJ

She Reigns. #OtherQueen

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[QUESTION:] Where were you in April four years ago, three years ago, two years ago….?

[A/N:] Today  is N’s and my four-year wedding anniversary. It’s all love, which is good, because there felt to be an absence of genuine respect floating out there in our fandom…and in my 3D life too. So in essence, this letter is a celebratory reminder of Kristen, of this outrageously entertaining and beloved fandom, and of the people I’ve met, known and learned from these four years.
I didn’t update as soon as I had hoped, but I didn’t let two months slip by again. Seriously, thank you for your utmost patience and kindness as I work through The Stuff. I hope to be back with you even sooner, but not after I return from my little vacay. Leaving for Washington D.C., Raleigh, NC and possibly New York on Friday to see family and dear friends. And because I have needed a vacation desperately for a very long time. See you when I return. And to prepare for the epicness that will be #Cannes. My BODY. IS. READY.
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This Letter’s PLAYLIST 
::: Fires  by Shady Bard
                 ::: Hold On by Alabama Shakes
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**Heading titles are lyrics from Lennon & McCartney’s/ The Beatles’ In My Life 

As I Do, I Honor

7 Apr

*Placing hand above eyes to soften the bright, stunning glare of the sunshine emanating from New MOO* Well HEEEEEEYYYYY there my gorgeous Misfits!!! How are you? Well, I must say that it sure looks like Springtime  has come to this little pocket of ours in the community. Please give love and props to my brilliant and fiercely creative friend @Buff_82 for the new look of MOO. Perhaps tilt your face towards the computer and bask in the balmy light that streams from the screen…It warms me every time I pull it up to edit or review. Buff had worked on the new banner and theme for Musings, while also revamping KSIBTU (which you’ve undoubtedly seen and wept over due to the gif-Banner Buff created). I had already posted the new essay, so I didn’t warn any of you about the change. I mean, I didn’t know about the new banner until I received a text from Buff the day after I’d already updated the new essay. So it was a surprise to me as well, and it was a much needed blast of sunshine, quite honestly. That particular afternoon had found me worn out and at the beginnings of what would be a very tough week. Overall, much has occurred since we convened last! So let’s catch up, kay? Today’s essay will briefly review some of the revelatory lessons I learned over the past two weeks, and also to make a big, big deal out of the fact that our Reinging Other Queen Kristen is having a birthday this weekend #LetsDoThis

Hey, Pretty Girl, I hear its your birfday?

Lesson 1: The Circus Can Be Spectacular

So currently, we find ourselves in the midst of a promotional blitz for what I think will be a visually stunning and whimsical film. Water For Elephants is to set for release April 22, and I don’t know about you, but based on the clips and screen caps I’ve seen, I think the film will do this enchanting book fine justice. Reese and Rob were on the cover of Entertainment Weekly released a couple Fridays ago, and as tradition compels me, I relied on the eyes and ears of you lovelies out there to guide me to my copy of the magazine. I eventually found mine in Barnes & Noble, one of the last 4 copies, all of which were shoved behind Popular Mechanics (bahaha to the tricksy little elves thinking I’d be deterred by a service magazine covering topics of home improvement and auto maintenance. Pfffft.) in the final minutes before the store’s closing. This was the seventh store I tried, btw.

While I was at Barnes & Noble I also picked up a copy of Water for Elephants the book (the edition with the movie poster as it’s cover, of course) with the intent on giving it to my Sister-in-Law Puss who was experiencing a painful flare up of massive, scary proportions these days, results of the autoimmune illness she suffers. I gifted the book with an agenda, though. Puss hadn’t read the book yet, and if anyone deserved a little escape from reality it was my sister. Ever hear of Cerebritis? Google it. Those who experience it absolutely are entitled to mega-healinglove in the forms of Jacob Jankowski and the gentle, graceful Elephant named Rosie. Well, and pushing my agenda–and I’d do the same with all of you if we lived somewhat close to each other–but I am seeking a date for the WFE premiere on April 22. My Sis has some great specs. ❤

LOVE.

Lesson 2a: As I Do, Not As I Say

So with my Mother in town, my Sis out of commission while she recovered from an episode from hell (the day Buff texted me to surprise me with the MOO Banner, I was at the hospital with Puss unexpectedly), I found myself as acting cruise director in charge of entertaining my mother who was in town while simultaneously hanging with my one of my favorite people EVAH, Miss Monkey. My three-year-old niece is precocious and a genius. She’s at that stage where she is testing the perimeters of protection, and also where she picks up every single cold that goes around the playground as well as every word or song she hears. She jumped on the bed and chanted, “WHO LET THE DOGS OUUUUT? HOO HOO HOO HOO!” when I was trying to put clean sheets on it for my mother to sleep in.

Well I have a sailor mouth on me. And I don’t edit much except when with Clients or around children…and my mother. Clearly, when I find myself emitting colorful language or editorials, it’s sage advice to not do as I say, but more as I do (given that I’m monitoring my impulsiveness, and respectfully). A rainstorm took over the whole weekend of my mother’s visit and during Operation: Let Sis Rest and For The Love of God Distract Monkey (OLSRFTLOGDM has a ring to it, no?), and so we had many changes of plans and encounters with erratic drivers in the city, damp clothing and growling stomachs on several occasions. My guard was down and I let a few F-bombs fly here or there…I may have said something about having things stuck in my craw or the sand up in the culottes….whatev. My mother then may have full-including-middle-named me when Monkey began exclaiming “Oooh that guy is stuck in my CRAW!” from her car seat.

So suffice to say, I had a healthy reminder of my own perimeters and limits while my niece and my mother were my constant companions. I had to constantly employ my awesome ignoring skills so as not to inject my own KJ-isms into my impressionable niece’s already colorful expressions. No, that guy is not stuck in anyone’s craw. No one has anything stuck anywhere, mmmkay?

Kristen is waiting for me to get a clue.

Lesson 2b: As I do, I Support

Monitoring the filth that spewed from my mouth is just one tiny aspect of carrying social responsibility. Those of us among the fandom, even on the periphery, have heard about the massive leak of Breaking Dawn pictures and video in which, holy mother, we witness Bella and Edward consummate their new marriage. We see those emo, tortured kids let loose and, as Rob pointed out in his WFE press conference interviews, behave as a happy, normal couple for once! Remember how spectacular it was that we caught a little bit of the blissfulness when the Rio pics began surfacing:

The leaked pictures, however, incensed such a passionate debate amongst this already sometimes overzealous community that everything discussed sparked soap box rants, judgments rendered, tension amongst friends, and public spats highlighting hypocrisy and artistic integrity. I found myself primarily concerned about the filmmakers (editors, directors, actors including our Other Queen Kristen and her mate Robert) and the sadness that surrounded having unfinished, raw creative projects stolen from them. It was just how I dealt with it all, mind you.

My mind and heart went directly to the place of remembering what it was like having my diary read by my boyfriend when I was 19 years old. RAGE. HUMILIATION. Also I imagined the mortification I’d feel if I had the first draft of my thesis stolen and handed to folks armed and hungry, their red pens in hand. I thought of my friends who are artists like @JHiggs86 and @ellelala and my dear Welsh Muse and Manager Kathryn; as well as writers and musicians trying to get their work seen, heard, published or sold, but having that option stolen from them. This week, Robert made it clear that people are affected.

So for me, what felt right, and in implementing my practice gained through Monkey-monitoring earlier, I did not retweet or reblog or further enable the widespread distribution of the stolen images. I never do anyway– as you guys all know, I try to avoid posting any pics taken in which the unsavory paparazzi-vultures would earn money from Kristen’s personal life, discomfort or when she was unaware. There were moments where I felt tense, sad, and ineffectual this week, especially as leaked images continued to surface over several days. But I continue to monitor whether my actions were congruent with my hopes and beliefs and in support of our soon-to-be-birthday girl. So that’s that. And it’s just how I decided to bring it back to the main reason why I’m here at all, Musing away. . .

She is affected by it, even if she doesnt show it.

Lesson 3: How I Feel About It

So interwoven in this incredibly busy and emotional couple of weeks, I also have been pursuing work again. I am still running my (very tiny) Magical Little Practice, and I do still hope to expand it, but again, until I’m called into duty to work alongside our Majestic Misfit Kristen in her philanthropic aspirations, or until Clearinghouse Sweepstakes shows up at our studio apartment with one of those big-ass checks, I’ve gotta get back out there. N and I don’t live above our very modest, modest (i.e. broke as hell) means, but we do have basic expenses to cover.  Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs places shelter, along with water and air among the foundation of physical and emotional health. And I’ve been blessed with those core necessities, but we’re toeing the line in a couple areas. So I need to ensure we’re a little more solid.

But JFC, it’s soul-wrenching labor to search and apply! I’ve been working since I was seventeen years old, and I never went without a job until the layoff from Bastard Nation nearly 2 years ago. Given the shaky economy and minimal respect my field receives, finding work is depressing and similar to a Dark Night of The Soul: draining, tedious, exposing, emotional.

..just lemme lay my head down for a sec..

See, I was describing the process to my beloved Bouffant the other night, and she is experiencing a similar situation in which, essentially we have to audition for judges for the position we desire. In the psychotherapy field, we freaking have to analyze, describe, ponder and then fucking emote about very personal questions: just in the cover letter. I’m not even talking about the interview or even the application form. There aren’t application forms in counseling psychology jobs. There are, however, entrance essays about life struggles and childhood traumas written just per chance someone may want to meet for an interview. And then the interview. Ninety minutes of  how do you feeeeeel about that? (insert into blank: suicidality, homicidality, cross-dressing, politics, teenagers–gasp!). And after the many essays I wrote this week, I am refreshed in the knowledge that I do have convictions and concerns and values that I adhere to and strive to maintain.

Ahh. There I am.

Do Kristen and Rob and all our featured Royal Rebels feel as compelled to impart such personal information in the name of their craft? I wager they save the profound emoting for their preparations for their job which is acting, performing, and connecting. While my work hinges on connection and honesty, I certainly can sympathize with Kristen and Rob as they bounce between “journalists” (though Elle and Vanity Fair as of late have wandered away from the title) trying to convey their passion and interest in their work as well as their personhood and values all within a short window of time. There are some vulnerabilities and risks taken in these interviews…much like my onion-peeling discussions with company directors, vying for work to peel back other people’s layers.  Plowing onward. Thanks, muchly, those of you who send me good thoughts and vibes on my search. It makes a huge difference to know that people are rooting.

Lesson 4: Honor Thy Queen

Well, this is really my favorite lesson of this week. Our Beautiful Rebel Royal Kristen is turning 21 this Saturday, April 9. One of my dearest friends in this world *blows kisses to Ree* shares her birthday with Kristen, which is further confirmation (not that I need any) that Kristen is a unique and exquisite spirit. My friend Ree is the gentlest, kindest soul with a deep love for animals, her family and friends, much like our fair Other Queen, non? I guess April 9 is BirthDay of Good People Day.

This week, Kristen is working on the Breaking Dawn set, filming the highly anticipated wedding scenes. Making a full circle in a way, Kristen celebrated her 18th birthdayin the final weeks of filming Twilight.

If she wished for success and love, I'd say the Birthday Gods provided

Her 19th birthday found her in the parking lot of Forks High School as she and Rob filmed scenes for New Moon–for Bella’s birthday. On the DVD special features, Kristen says to the camera, “Today is my birthday actually!” They went out with their friends/fellow castmates that night for dinner in Vancouver. Dude, remember Jackson’s mohawk?

ICU SmileyJohn. Also IC Rob diverting attention away, Jackson holding her hand.

When she turned twenty, NinjaStew was alive and well. She had flown unseen over to Europe a couple days before her birthday, and when she finally did surface, on April 11, she was in Budapest (where Rob was filming Bel Ami), and she did not travel back to the States alone. Think #MatchingSambaAddidas, Rob looking over his shoulder about 4 times in the span of 15 seconds to ensure Kristen followed him closely through the throngs of camerafolk. . . I’m opting not to post pics from that night, because Kristen and Rob both appeared uncomfortable and affected by the huge crowds awaiting them at both the Budapest Airport and at Heathrow where they arrived for a layover. But I will pay homage to the backs of the boys who protect the precious:

This year, as the Vancouver Breaking Dawn set appears better protected, we may not see the Birthday Girl at all, which is perfect, because I’ll go on a limb here and guess that a private, low-pro birthday celebration is exactly what Kristen would prefer anyhow.

Joyful Birthday Girls are Joyful

How are you going to acknowledge our Reigning Other Queen’s birthday? There have been several projects out there asking for y’all to send in your birthday cards and greetings for compilations:

or to donate to causes that Kristen supports:                                                **click on any of banners for the redirect

We continuously honor the lovely Ms Stewart by supporting her work and her modeling of  how to embrace her Otherness and while also exploring ways to embrace Otherness for ourselves. We honor Ms Stewart through our fist pumps in solidarity at any awkward, quirky and unconventional behaviors that she or our fellow Others may exhibit: stumbling, stuttering, pausing? FIST PUMP. FIST PUMP. HIGH FIVE. We honor her when we continue to seek coexistence and collaboration with Others within and outside the fandom.

I will continue to praise and support Kristen Jaymes by posting positive essays celebrating Unconventional Beauty such as hers for as long as you kind folks will tolerate me. This month, I also have donated to two causes that work to provide services for causes that are close to my heart and that Queen Kristen herself supports: The awareness of Sexual Assault via Take Back The Night and Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness

As well as an organization that encourages us to find our voices and raise our hands:

Annnnnd, our Other Queen may be receiving a small token of gratitude for reminding me of MOO’s inception, and how it all began with a Homecoming Queen Nomination for the category of OTHER and the inspired (no not really) ad campaign:

It has been an eventful couple of weeks for shizz. But incredible moments of revelation are slowly encompassing me and motivating steps forward. Despite Job Auditions, various people and moments stuck in craws, pesky brain swelling, and unfortunate picture leaks, there are far more favorable and noteworthy events to counterbalance. Like the critical acclaim Water For Elephants is receiving. And how Kristen will be wrapping up Breaking Dawn soon and begin preparation on her next project: Either K-11 and/or Snow White and the Huntsman. Plus the promo will fire up for On The Road. Also good: figuring out through extensive questioning and reflection, that I. am. here, and perhaps tentative, but still behaving congruently with my  values. I do what I say, say what I do, even if it takes writing a few intimate essays or  working through tension amongst cohorts in this passionate fandom for me  to reacquaint myself with those values. A great thing? Acknowledging, celebrating (maybe even doing the Running Man or the Roger Rabbit?) the birthday of a regal, beautiful, Muse.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KRISTEN!

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others know that saying and doing is congruently being.

Embrace your Other.

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Questions: How do you like the New MOO look? How have you ensured your values and behaviors are congruent? Where were YOU while our Other Queen was turning 18, 19, 20?

A/N: Thanks for hanging with me through the swells and falls of my posting schedule, my loveliest lovelies. Very specific squeezes and hair-playing go to My Sister Puss, the obscenely talented and patient @Buff_82 and for pinch hitting and mid-day reassurances Bouffant.

Thanks to CC (@KStewsbtrthanU) for batting theories, thoughts and randoms at all times of the day thru nearly all communicative devices with me.

And great LOVE LIGHT AND RELIEF to my Possum Bestie @Ophelia2010 (Aai) and her beautiful, resilient, gloriously gorgeous Baby Girl. We could all learn to take stumbles and bumbles gracefully and as resiliently as these girls.

See you next time. All my <3, KJ

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