Tag Archives: Perspective

Muselet: New Day

18 Aug
A/N:  Images displayed in this essay are not mine–Thank Goddess for Tumblr, Imagebam, and Pinterest.  No copyright infringement intended. Click the image for a link to its origins. Totally unbeta’d, so any mistakes and stumbles are mine, allll mine. This is only a shorty, but of course there is a playlist. Click here to open a new page & listen——>(http://pl.st/p/20984139787)

Here comes the sun

Hello, Lovelies. Long time no musings, I know. Those of you who have been my journey mates these past two-plus years understand that any silence from this site is not indication of similar silence experienced by it’s author. I have been musing. Oh, how I’ve been tumbling through and under and over and every which way through the contemplative immensity these past four, [five?] weeks. It’s a matter of reining it in and sharing the ramblings in a cohesive manner. Clearly, as I’ve proven time and time again, my challenge is succinctness. 

….Since brevity is the soul of wit ~ Shakespeare

When I decided on a whim to post this little ditty, the clock was twenty minutes shy of switching over to “00:00”, proclaiming a new day; one, as Anne Shirley [an early Other herself, as she dreams from her house of Green Gables] jubilantly reminds us contains “no mistakes in it yet”. It has now grown five minutes past midnight. I only wanted to post a little heads-up. To let you know that Musings is coming atcha this weekend whether you are ready or not. I wanted you to know that I. Am. Here. I never left. 

I was inspired to return to this WordPress Wonderland of Otherness for many reasons: because I needed to; because I wanted to; because I have so many words in my head and love in my heart I feared I may implode. Also, because I feel The Shift. The clouds are easing up slightly allowing for precious, nourishing slivers of light to illuminate the sky, warm our faces. 

Also, I never had the chance to properly celebrate Musings’ two year anniversary and I simply cannot let much more time elapse without writing about this glorious, shattering, profound year. And to not acknowledge that is just WRONG. This year has been everything. And the past two months in particular have simply changed the game.  

So I’m writing the celebratory MOO post that I had planned for weeks ago. This was before July 17, before my husband and I made some pretty intense decisions which lends to why we’re today, quite literally, separated by a world;  before I became involved in three funerals, before I made an unexpected but most cathartic return to composing music and finding long-forgotten melodies within. 

I created this space over two years ago because I needed a forum to find my voice and connect with kindreds searching for theirs as well. I wanted to to do something to help dissuade the negativity and maybe do my small part in creating change that I wanted to see in the world around me. No time is more apt or essential than now. 

So I figure: Let’s pick up right where we left off. 

****From my July 31, 2012: Twitlonger

There is one simple, pure, and constant concept that has been a small measure of comfort to me this week. And that is this: nothing, nothing, nothing is black or white. Nothing involving human beings and their emotional capacity can be categorized so easily. There is a gray area. There is an essential consideration that is near and dear to MY heart– of OTHER. That idea that is indefinable, fluid and against simple explanation. Because there is ALWAYS more.

We do NOT know. There is a sequence of events, there are precipitating triggers, there are esoteric factors that we have no access to, and–here’s where it’s crucial to understand– It is not OUR right to access.

No where is there an Admiration Rulebook that states we retain [or deserve] the right to acquire personal, private details in ANYBODY’S lives, let alone regarding people we have never met. We were never invited into their relationship. In fact, Kristen and Rob did everything in their power to preserve and protect what is theirs. They both have countlessly reminded us that idolatry is unwarranted and in the long run, completely, utterly UNFAIR. To ourselves. To them. 

People have asked, begged, prompted me to say something all week, and while it is quite flattering to me that you, of such great, burgeoning minds, seek out my addled brain for guidance, there is another part of me that feels pressure.

Yes I’m a clinical psychotherapist. Yes, I Muse on empowerment and compassion and love. Yes, I am a supporter of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson: Together, separately, no matter. But I too am wading through stages of grief, loss, confusion. And sometimes, though this ‘twitlonger’ doesn’t reflect that, I am without words and direction too.

Two points I had hoped to make, before this spiraled out of control into a full-on Musings.

1) Musings On Other Queens–this ‘blog’– is not going anywhere. It never was ‘A Kristen Blog’ or ‘A Robsten [ugh, you KNOW how I detest that label] Blog’. It was a space I created so we could talk about the ways we can overcome labels, misconceptions and generalizations. A way to give voice to the underrepresented. It was intended for us to have a forum to encourage SELF-REFLECTION on how we can contribute to the lessening of stereotypes, possibly banishing the bullying and the hate-mongering.

I think we need that capacity more now than ever. And so no, MOO is not closing down or taking a hiatus other than it’s regular breathing schedule as I navigate my 3D life. And BOY is my 3D life colorful this month. Balance, babies, it’s all about balance.

This started it ALL. It aint stopping anytime soon, kiddos

2.) I honestly and soulfully believe that Kristen and Robert will move through this, in a way that is healing and right for Kristen and Robert. Not by our definitions or standards, but theirs. As it should be.

Also, any amount of processing and rehabilitation will take time. 

Sitting on Twitter, or watching entertainment ‘news’ channels obsessively is maybe the most damaging thing we could do right now. And I can say with utmost confidence and authority, that believing wholly in anything the “media” [tabs] churn out is a great disservice to … well, everything, everyone, including Kristen and Robert, the very people that bound us together in the very beginning.

In my twelve years in training as a professional listener…I have learned an open mind is the most compassionate and–most often–prevalent truth in the end. Compassion and support is what Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson need more than anything right now.

Be well and take care of yourselves. Cultivate all of your strengths and blessings in your everyday, tangible life. And while a young couple takes time to assess and evaluate their hopes, aspirations and paths, we can do the same.

See? We’re all rediscovering our humanity together.

In a letter I wrote to my CyberSisters a couple days ago, in the midst of my own personal anguish, I concluded:

“I want to tell you as a marriage and family therapist, that I see this devastation often. It happens. EVERY. DAY. In one form or another.

And, yes, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. the sun rises again and people-warriors make their way towards it’s warmth.

I have faith. I have so much faith.

So a 22 year old girl is human. She resides with the rest of us mortals. I am so happy for the company.”

I am so happy to be in your company.

****

See you this weekend for the commencement of celebrating Other? Yesssss. All my love and light… KJ

*    *    *

Playlist: 

http://pl.st/p/20984139787

Ho Hey ~ The Lumineers

Ashes and Wine ~ A Fine Frenzy

Breathe Again ~ Little People feat Rachael R

Hold On ~ Alabama Shakes

Homage To The Firsts

24 Feb

Well hello there, my loves! I hope this essay finds you well and healthy and warm if you’re in the freezing cold part of the world, and cool if it’s hellishly hot where you are . It’s rainy and stormy here in my neck o’ the woods, and I’m happily bundled up while writing and listening to the sublime Adele (check the playlist. I’m slightly obsessed this week) sing of love and redemption. Today, we’re having a bit of a Rainy Day Pow-wow!  It’s a bit different than how I usually structure Musings, and we will not highlight a Featured Rebel today. However, I hope to reinstate weekly postings next week, and I will commemorate this by highlighting the deliciously unique and glorious Other Queen, Helena Bonham Carter. Sound good? Soooo without further adieu, lets get on with our Otherness Kumbaya, shall we?

Happiness is when you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Gandhi

After I had finally, finally decided on a major in college, I enrolled in a class that was a graduation requirement for my field of study (counseling psychology), the start of my junior year. I had just turned 20 (Kristen’s age now).  For MOO’s purposes, we’ll refer to the class as Communication and Collaboration or C & C for short. Though I didn’t know it at the time, I had enrolled myself in the most catalytic, revolutionary class of my life. What was this class? Can’t be categorized, as it drew from teachings in various disciplines: sociology, psychology, criminology, business and…. Kindergarten. No, seriously. I sat in a circle with eight other people and caught a refresher course on the basic essentials of socialization and etiquette: turn-taking, sharing, listening before speaking and cultural sensitivity. If we had a designated “snack time” and “nap time”, it really would be like Kindergarten.

Arts and Crafts Time

Each week, nine of us fellow academics along with two co-leading peers would discuss and share our thoughts, concerns and reactions surrounding a myriad of topics including: career, relationships, love, loss and ambition. We all derived from different backgrounds, cultures, ethnicities, and fields of study but once a week for 2+ hours we would convene to share a piece of our personal value systems with each other. I suppose it’s similar in concept to group therapy, but with more of a book club vibe. However, instead of discussing the latest best sellers, we’d  trade stories about our experiences and ideas that shaped our personalities. I always believed that we (the world) could live in a peaceful utopia if everybody  participated in two events: One, attend and work through a C & C class; and, two, work in customer service, preferably in the restaurant business. Because let’s face it: people just don’t know what it’s like until they experience it for themselves. And even then, people don’t quite see how to apply the newfound knowledge to others’ situations….

Is it really wise for you to antagonize the one who brings your food to you?

So why am I telling you about the life-changing class called C & C and encouraging you all to get food-serving positions? Well, I’ve just basically shared my core motivator for writing Musings. I wanted to create a place, like C & C, in which people from differing backgrounds, ages, and experiences could come together and  share different interpretations and reactions to events that are important to us, i.e. Royal Rebelliousness, Bliss Pursuit, Kristen Stewart’s Steeze, and have a respectful dialogue regardless if we share the same opinions or not. When we realize that we all have differing perspectives  but on universal, common themes, it removes the stigma of the “Unknown” (Demonized Other, Alien) Factor.  Perhaps it eliminates the reason for insulting, bullying, tearing down of others…? I learned that we have filters through which we view everything. Our childhood experiences, our current interactions, our culture, our family, all shape how we view and respond to situations. It’s our conditioning. See, here in the land of MOO, we’ve talked about perspective before. We’ve acknowledged that no single one of us has the exact same reaction to a certain situation, and we certainly recognize that we have very strong inclinations towards protectiveness when it comes to our Reigning Queen Kristen.

Back to the Beginning

According to a Psychology Today article entitled “Heartbreak and Home Runs: The Power of First Experiences”, our first experiences are formidable enough to shape our whole character, our  adult personalities. Elation and heartache we encountered in our younger years may hold the key to why and how we react the way we do as adults, why we make the decisions we do, why we’re fascinated with whom or what we’re fascinated with (clears throat)…

So today’s Musings is dedicated to the exploration of Firsts: ours, and Other Queen Kristen’s. A reason for a stroll down memory lane? Well, for one thing, my incredibly brilliant Cyber Sister Readers and I were exchanging  our own stories of first loves and first kisses, prompted by particular fan fiction stories we’re reading (taking a moment to rec and love on the story A Quiet Fire by @Magnolia822) and with 3D happenings in our families.

Another reason for the nostalgia: our Majestic Misfits Kristen and Rob have returned to British Columbia this week, to complete the final months of filming for the last installments of the Twilight Saga. Not only am I struck with moments of, “remember when K and R were in Vancouver the first time two years ago?” and reminded that Vancouver is one of my favorite cities in the world too, but I’m also aware that I’m more irritable and have an increased need to preserve and safeguard Kristen, Rob and their cast mates against the Vultures and overzealous critics and “fans”. See what I mean? I’m influenced by what I witnessed and experienced from Vancouver before…

Oh that's right. They're so THRILLED to be hunted down.

Baton Rouge, from where the cast just returned, served as a quieter, less-intrusive backdrop for our Queen Other and her Ninja partner Rob, and while we didn’t receive minute-to-minute commentaries on their every move, I was infinitely happier because I knew that Kristen and Rob had semblance of privacy, which is not necessarily the case in Van City.  Amongst VulturePapz fighting re: the order in which the actors disembarked from their airplanes, also bonafide set stalkers and the resurgence of Nerdy Bloggers and pretentious “insiders”, it isn’t any mystery that the only glimpse we’ve had of Kristen is one pic of her running to her car with a jacket over her head.

I’m not sure what first experiences justifies how the BullShit People and obsessed gossip bloggers can harass our girl, why they cannot seem to grant Kristen the space to acquaint herself with her own adventures. Were they picked on as children? Did they never have a moment of wanting privacy, of silence? I humbly request that we Others all reflect, C & C -style, upon our own journeys before we lose the capacity to be compassionate and nonjudgmental. Before we lose our own personal connection with the meaningful experiences in our lives. Shall we take a stroll?

FIRST FALLINGS

Some of these Firsts are featured in the Sentence Completion Section on the About KJ Page. If you feel moved to do so, answer the prompts with as much or as little detail as you prefer…

First Job: Our lovely Reigning Other Queen was working at age nine. What were you doing at age nine? Kristen had her first role (non-speaking) in the film Thirteenth Year. Next up came a supporting role opposite Patricia Clarkson in The Safety of Objects.

Of course, it was her first starring role as Sarah Altman, daughter to Jodie Foster in director David Fincher’s (The Social Network) Panic Room that earned Kristen praise from critics and created a friend, mentor, protector and advocate of Jodie Foster. It was Foster who ultimately recommended our lovely Queen Kristen for the pivotal roles to the filmmakers of of Into the Wild and The Yellow Handkerchief.

So while our Beatific Rebel was making business contacts and earning fans among the Hollywood Elite in her first jobs, most other kids her age were enjoying the wonders of being able to write cursive for a year (in America, we learn cursive in 3rd grade, approx eight years old), and maybe, maybe  celebrate participation in a junior soccer league or ballet (my brother Chew was the former, I was the latter).

My first job was at a sporting goods store. Yep. I was seventeen years old, a senior in high school, and helping folks pick out their ideal first pair of rollerblades (and subsequent knee pads and the crucial but overlooked wrist guards). Lookie here, I’m like Bella Swan working at Newton’s Outfitters! Minimum wage was maybe $7/hr which meant I could satisfy my newest obsessions: vintage Levi’s and tickets to Tori Amos concerts.

First Public Acknowledgement/Award: With the breakthrough role in Panic Room, Kristen received the first of four nominations for The Young Artist Award. It was for her role in the aching and beautiful Into the Wild for which Kristen won the award.  She was sixteen years old and enjoying critical praise from colleagues and journalists for her solid, “sensitive performance” in the film. And she unwittingly attracted the curiosity of a certain British musician named Robert. This would be an essential development in Kristen’s professional and personal timeline.

When I was sixteen, I was pretty stoked to be a licensed driver and a junior in high school. I did receive special accolades for my ability to string words together in English classes, and I was extremely proud to have won a scholarship for my essay on an encounter with a drunk driver.

First Encounter with Separation of Self And Other: Ah see, this one is pretty heavy, I think. First realization that we are Other…The understanding that we are “supposed” to adhere to structure and conform to predetermined norms based on our age, our gender, our culture, our school…our family, can be especially shattering. It’s the moment when we realize that we have an idea of who we are, and that idea is challenged by someone or something else. This realization can have such a profound effect at times pushing us into almost existential questioning. It’s the basic acknowledgement that there is judgment, there are structures, and there are rules, and that we don’t want agree. Also, we learn that people can be harsh. This is the time period–commonly in early adolescence, though really it could occur any time, any age–when our bodies, our beliefs, our relationships, our chemical makeup undergo significant changes. Gasp! Suddenly we’re aware of the opposite sex..and body odor..It’s puberty and it can be brutal.

Things can swing from THIS…..

Rainbows, Unicorns and best friends forevsies

to this….kinda quickly

Our lovely Ms Stewart herself spoke once about the cruelty of her peers at her school when she finished filming Panic Room. Classmates snubbed her, made taunting remarks to her and kept her on the periphery of acceptance. Certainly, since Kristen would be away on such long breaks to film, the separation from her peers didn’t foster opportunities to create the bonds that could be there if she were in regular attendance . Hence the beginning of her separateness, The Otherness. She eventually chose to receive home schooling to complete her education.

How anyone could alienate or snub this lovely girl, I do not understand. Oh wait. It's STILL fucking happening!

I first understood this shift from obliviousness to uber awareness of a social order  in the summer between before sixth grade. I was on a week-long trip to Washington D.C., away from my family for the first time, across the country. I realized I had developed a fascination with one of the older boys in our tour group, and he had a “girlfriend”, since, you know, he held her hand as we walked through The Smithsonian. He had darker skin, like I did, but his girlfriend was fair and light skinned, and the contrast in coloring was simply beguiling to me. Remember, I had been raised by a Swiss/German family, so I was used to seeing the exotic contrasts of light and dark when I viewed family portraits. I just hadn’t seen it anywhere else outside of my own situation.

Well, after staring at this lovely boy and his lovely girlfriend for goddess knows how long, the jig was up, and I was about to get yanked out of my self-centered revelry. BAM. It’s not just me anymore. The boy loudly hissed at me, in front of the entire tour group:

“WHY DO STARE AT ME SO MUCH? WHY?”

And when one his buddies joked that it was because I must have wanted to “go around” with him (is that what you called it when you were 10 or 11? Going around? Going Steady?), to my utter humiliation, the boy threw back his head and guffawed. Laughed his stupid head off.

“EWWW. SHE’S YOUNGER…AND SHE’S NOT CUTE”

To add lemon to the paper cut, the following year found me grappling with an assortment of  Yearbook Honors (Most Ambitious, Class Clown, Cutest, etc). A yearbook misprint placed the title of “CUTEST” over my picture instead of “BEST PERSONALITY”–the award I preferred and had actually won. The final weeks of school were filled with people whispering and blatantly disputing the vote. Ah yes. Good times. See a little bit more why I declined the Other Homecoming Queen nominations to follow? I should have known then and there at the tender age of 13 that I could not trust the media and to harden my skin. Goodness. I have so much admiration for what Kristen does every single day of her life. My pain has consisted of having to contend with minor misunderstandings and whispers at my back. Kristen must dart away from Stalkerazzi and is aware through Google that people really, really dislike her outfit from last night, this morning and right at this moment. Kristen Stewart is SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME. #KSIBTM #KSIBTU

First Love: While I’m not versed in Kristen’s personal life, because she’s asked for her personal life to remain private, rightfully so, I feel safe enough in saying she has been a prominent feature in the idea of First Love at least since the casting news was announced that the iconic role of Bella Swan would be portrayed by the seventeen-year-old indie actress… Whether it’s because we’ve witnessed her embodiment of the the quintessential EveryGirl Bella Swan falling in love, or the evolvement of her very unique bond with Robert Pattinson over the years, Kristen Stewart has, for me, represented love in a very relatable, genuine way.

I had crushes that came and went, starting with my 7th grade boyfriend (he was The Edward Cullen of Middle School with otherworldly beauty and charisma) all the way through high school and my first year in college in which I pined for a boy who pined for my oblivious best friend. Of course as soon as he realized I’d do anything to be the recipient any fleeting attention he tossed my way, I set myself up for a world of pain. The less about him the better, perhaps. My brother still holds a grudge against him, and I’m pretty sure the boy reads Musings. As does, occasionally, the boy who I would qualify as my First Love, or more accurately, “The Boy I Think Is Love” because he looked good on paper, but didn’t make much sense anywhere else. I was eighteen when we started dating, but I actually broke up with him once I figured out my shit with the help of that C & C class I took. One more endorsement for introspection and clarifying values, I guess?

First Philanthropy: With the help of the recent stunning Vogue article, we know that Kristen has philanthropic goals that are profound and inspiring. But long before her hopes for building a halfway house network were verbalized, our Royal Rebel has displayed her charitable and compassionate nature byway of her endorsement of raising awareness of sexual assault when she was quite young, age 13, as she portrayed Melinda, a selectively-mute date-rape survivor in the movie Speak.

Courtesy of the brilliant Tumblr by absofreakinlutely

In a move foreshadowing more philanthropic work, Ms Stewart took time to film a public service announcement in 2009  for Security On Campus (SOC) designed to encourage awareness about sexual assault, drawing attention to the frequency it occurs on college campuses. The statistics are pretty sobering: Every 2 minutes someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted, and 1 out of 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape. Knowledge and awareness of these facts is powerful, and I admire Ms Stewart for contributing her voice and time to the promotion of knowledge about sexual assault.

>>>Click this pic to see Kristen's PSA Video<<<

I’ve watched with growing amazement at the generosity and creativity of Twilight Fanfiction communities in their efforts to raise awareness and funding for charities for relief (Fandom for Floods, for the recent Australian floods; Fandom Against Domestic Violence) and for health and spirit (Alex’s Lemonade Stand for Childhood Cancer; Fandom Fights Mental Health Issues, Autism Awareness, among many). I wanted to take a quick moment to highlight a charity event that is taking place now, one of personal significance as well as a larger importance society. In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (April), led by a friend of mine, @Aylah50, and another lovely author @ColdplayWhore are hosting a fandom event which serves to educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence. This primary prevention approach helps to create environments where people are safe in their relationships, families, neighborhoods, schools, work places and communities. Check out the website (click the badge below) for more information on how you can contribute and lend your voice, as our Other Ambassador Kristen has, to the sharing of knowledge.

Fandom4saa.wordpress.com

First Falling For Kristen: I alluded to first falling into Kristen in earlier posts and on the Origins of Musings page, but I haven’t really spoken to how she became my Reigning Other Queen. I had first seen her in Panic Room but I didn’t realize it was her. It was summertime 2008, and I knew Twilight was being adapted to film. I heard that Kristen was cast in the lead female role, but I hadn’t made the connection yet. I caught maybe 30 minutes of In The Land Of Women on HBO one afternoon, and I remember being struck with the beauty and passion of Kristen’s character Lucy, but again, I didn’t know. Seriously, I should probably have my KristenFan Card revoked right now with that admission.

I didn’t truly get it until I caught a glimpse of the famous Larry Carroll MTV Interviews  (Twilight Tuesdays) in which she carried herself with poise and a grounded-ness that was so refreshing. And then I read the Vanity Fair Q & A and fell in love with her direct answers and her obvious intelligence. Of course, pictures like this, depicting her lightness of spirit and chemistry with Rob…I was breathless.

My championing of this Royal Rebel only increased by leaps and bounds as Twilight was released, as well as the backlash of criticism of Kristen’s interviewing skills, her frenetic energy, her refusal to participate in media training. As I heard all of these “offenses” I was thoroughly convinced that she is the coolest. chica. evah. Uncompromising. Unapologetically genuine. Steadfast. . . .And you? When did you First Fall for Kristen?

Well, as I cautioned, today’s MOO was going to be slightly different in structure and tone. Maybe I’m inspired to chat with you all on a more personal level because I’ve felt further away than usual, with my staggered posting schedule, or maybe it’s the rainy weather. Perhaps the return of Kristen and Rob to Vancouver, wrapping up a film project that has been so influential and integral in our lives these past three years is the trigger. I was curious also how the people who stalk and bash and hound Kristen and Rob in Vancouver can justify their behavior–have they forgotten what it was like to be a young person on a new job assignment? Have they lost their abilities to empathize? Do their encounters with First experiences influence their current actions, or have they forgotten the significance of their Firsts altogether? Just wonderin’…..Or maybe it’s the introduction of AmishRob that has sent everyone into a tailspin? *shrugs*

(c) absofreakinlutely tumblr

Meanwhile, my hope is to continue to remind myself and my fellow Others that as we continue to blaze forth on our paths towards integration and bliss, that it’s a good thing, a healthy practice, to revisit our beginnings. Today’s Musings is the forty-first essay. I’m simply amazed by that. Forty-one essays celebrating Unconventional Beauty, awkwardness, rebelliousness and Otherness…of rejoicing over the epicness that is an actress and Rebel Queen named Kristen.

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others do not lose sight of the significance of Firsts.

Embrace your Other.

*

Question: I’ve tons of ’em here and in the Sentence Completion portion of About KJ. Tell me about your firsts…

*

A/N: For Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness Info, visit the website: http://fandom4saa.wordpress.com/

See you next week, my lovelies. Thanks for all your tweets, emails and kindness as I was recovering from what felt like Typhoid. xo, KJ

The Season for Perspective

16 Dec

Well, my Lovelies, it’s that wonderful time of year. Christmas, Hanukkah, NYEve and New Year’s Day…New resolutions, frenzied shopping and oh my goodness the sweet treats! The carols! The lights! The movies and music! The fudge. The old-school TV specials! (Did anybody else watch It’s A Yogi Christmas? ‘Heeeey, Boo Boo’, says Yogi Bear, not Rob via the Eclipse Commen-tree). **PSA ANNOUNCEMENT: This is the first of many, many references to Robert Thomas Pattinson I will make in this post. For those of you “fans” who write me to yell at and insult me for even alluding to Rob on what you think is  supposed to “only be a Kristen Blog”, you have been warned. Perhaps you might want to skip this post. Because I’m going to talk a lot about  Our Reigning Queen Kristen in addition to her professional and personal mate Robert, who is also a Featured Royal Rebel and Ambassador of Other.**

Well,  I’m typing with cold, stiff fingers today since N and I try to keep our utility bills low by running the heater only when necessary (blue lips, chattering teeth), but we’re blessed in that it rarely gets to that point. I won’t dare speak about “cold”, since as a Cali native and resident, I may not truly experience the cold that say, my friend Sav does in Ireland, or my mid-westie Sisters. They’ve IM’d or written emails this week indicating their thermometers say it’s -10 degrees F. I have no idea what that means. Seriously. This is what I’m hearing: “It’s cold, fuckers!!. I know this because my eye lashes froze, and my car handle broke off, and I have to shovel snow off the driveway…but my teeth are chattering too hard and our power went out…and..and…”

Ok, even FrozenStew trumps all. Recognize.

So I’ve been pleased that NinjaStew has managed to stay under the radar per her usual stealthy self. It isn’t about what we want for Kristen and Rob. It’d be lovely to glimpse her beautiful face again sure, but I’m much happier knowing that she is immersed in work and remaining out of the limelight because it’s what she prefers. And that’s what today’s essay will be about: Refocusing. Shifting lenses of perspective from which we view our surroundings, ourselves, Kristen and our fellow Others. While we may be hankering for a glimpse of our Reigning Other Queen and her Deliciously Handsome Poet Warrior, Kristen and Rob have both made it abundantly clear that they prefer to proceed through their daily existence with little to no attention paid to them. Of course, they acknowledge that they have extremely high profile professions, and there are public appearances and press junkets they are required to attend for the J-O-B (but oh how we appreciate how well they clean up). . .

But both Kristen and Rob, though Kristen more adamantly, express their hope of keeping their personal lives private, and separate from their work world. I think it’s good to be reminded of this about our Reigning Royalty. So how are we going to prompt ourselves to keep perspective?  I suggest we bring awareness back to basics and…oh, yes. LOVE. We’re gonna talk about LOVE today.

Why? you may ask. Well, for a few reasons. . .

1. I keep saying I’ll write about Love for Musings. Just trying to keep my promise.

2. It’s the holiday season, and it’s not uncommon to become overwhelmed with all the details: food, shopping, party-planning, work stats, obligations, bills, being nice to family  members you really despise, the influx of memories. And why  do we decide to gather, celebrate, sing, cry or passionately argue, laugh, and dance  at all? Oh yeah. LOVE.

3. It’s the end of another year in this nutty but passionately colorful fandom. While there are several subsets and sub-subsets of support for Twilight, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, what is the common denominator of it all? LOVE. See, whether its love of the original Twilight books and the spin off into the outrageously addictive Twi Fan Fiction; or whether we’re drawn to the movies and therefore the actors portraying young protagonists navigating timeless and somewhat obsessive and  passionate feelings for one another…it’s L-O-V-E.

4. We need the reminder of what it’s about every now and again. That perspective shake up I talked about earlier, we need it. We forget it. Even though it’s all around us.

:::CASE IN POINT:::

This week, a picture was–regardless if by accident or not–released online featuring our Royal Rebels Kristen and Robert posing in front of a Christmas tree with Rob’s parents in what appears to be the living room with a European-style layout and design. Rob, with a mane that rivaled a Serengeti lion’s, had one arm around his mother and another arm wrapped around Kristen with her shorter, black bob, their fingers interlaced on her shoulder. The picture is clearly from last year. The picture clearly intimates several loving factors:

a. It simply solidifies and confirms the Paris hand-holding pics that had been scooped the previous month, Nov ’09. They are continuing to display their affection for and with each other.

b. It was a year ago. Friends, from my observations over the past two years, Kristen and Rob have given every indicator that they’ve been close and quite fond of one another for so much longer than people really understand. And yet. . .there are still folks who doubt they are an authentic relationship. #Nonsensicals

c. Rob’s parents were in the picture with them. At Christmas time. Who do you spend your big holidays with? Your family. Whether by blood or by bonds of friendship that are just as potent as blood, holiday gatherings are amongst family. To me, this picture indicates that Rob and his parents consider Kristen, apart of their family.

It was a lovely picture, but I did not post or retweet it because I felt that it was clearly a private moment not meant to be seen (consumed, shredded) by the public. But even in the minute of looking it over, I could identify the tell tale signs that Kristen and Rob (and his parents) were both so very happy.

Then my feelings of foreboding and sadness flooded in because I don’t think the Pattinson Family’s private photos should be open to fodder and dissection, nor Kristen or Robert’s personal lives. And then the drama unleashed. High profile “fans”/”shippers” in the Twi-fandom began publicly bashing and shaming other fans for enjoying “the private” photo too much, all while claiming that they’ve possessed it for many months prior, this private family photo mind you; and, the division between “Insiders” and “just regular fans” was ripped farther apart (because didn’t you know that there is a hierarchy of fans in this community? *inserts sarcasm*). Websites/blogs were publishing the photo so fast that before you could say, “Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn” (and let’s face it, that’s a mouthful too, but whatev), the tweets grew to the tens of thousands. The tweets posted were  public arguments about who had the right to publish which photos and when….annnnd the insults were traded, and standoffs were initiated, “judgements” handed down. Uh, WTF JUST HAPPENED??  Where did the semblance of perspective disappear to? Did Rob and Kristen really trigger a Twitter War with a Christmas photo?? So the focus was lost, the perspective had shifted so far away from the original idea of supporting a couple of awkwardly charming, shy and gifted artists who loved their craft and have love for one another.

Rob to Kris: Maybe if we stand here really quiet and still, the masses will run right past us and not notice. Kris: Good plan.

Suddenly it wasn’t about the love anymore. Overlooked in the petty fighting was the message depicted by that private picture: The family love. The loving relationship that Kristen and Rob more visibly share. The love of love which brought many of us into this fandom in the very beginning, years ago. Suddenly, it was like the Twi Fandom and Twitter had begun enacting the battleground  strategy that propelled the plot for Eclipse: Who can wrestle control of as many “red dots”  (followers, fans) as possible? Who is faster at posting an exclusive photo? Who has the most followers on Twitter (because that number indicates almighty TRUTH of a person’s status and level of integrity amongst the fans, right?)?? Whom is entrusted with “insider” information? Nope. I’m not hearing anything about the privacy and protection of Kristen and Rob or their families in these fights, except maybe to further their own agenda.

:::A SHIFT IN PARADIGM:::

There are a few ways we can help out our Fellow Majestic Misfits and balance out the focus, and return to the basics.

1. Honor the request for personal privacy; Focus on the work. Ok, so you all know obviously, that I support Kristen and Rob  (separately and together). I am concerned by the shift that some of the better known “shippers” in the community have undergone in the past year. It feels that the focus has drifted and it’s no longer about simply celebrating the careers and personal happiness of two artists who are intelligent, unconventional (i.e. OTHER), and refreshing. So if it’s not about which online community is most popular or the most inside, then the interest swings towards their personal, private lives.  Is it any wonder that Rob and Kristen have to put on their armor whenever they step outside their work or homes?

There is such joy in listening to the Eclipse commentary (or, “Commen-tree”, says Rob) these past weeks. But in the very beginning of it all, in the great Twilight audio commen-tree, Kristen told Catherine Hardwicke #TeamChattyCathy and Rob that when she would do her on-set schoolwork (since she was a minor, under 18 at the time Twilight began filming) in classrooms at the school that served as Forks High School, people (the school’s actual students?) would constantly knock on the port hole, the small window in the door, when she was  trying to complete her work. She effectively described it as feeling “like a monkey in a cage”. How much do you want to bet that the feeling [like an animal on display] has increased tenfold for Kristen? Colleagues and friends of our Queen Kristen and her equally Rebellious Consort Rob never comment to the press with their editorial on Rob and Kristen’s personal relationship, but rather, draw praise and accolades for their professional successes.

Kristen’s On The Road costars Garrett Hedlund (yum) and Amy Adams (another lovely ginger with immense talent) both had wonderfully kind compliments for Kristen:

“Kristen is incredible. And in this, everyone will see how hard a worker she is, and the devotion she puts into her work. Her performance [in On The Road] is going to be exposed highly” ~ Garret Hedlund

Amy Adams says:

“[Kristen] is awesome. I’d seen her since she was in Panic Room, and knew she was fantastic…Thought she was wonderful in Into the Wild. The girl’s got some chops! And on top of that, she is just really sweet.”

OHai, beautiful StrawberryStew!

And Robert’s new movie Water for Elephants is earning favorable and promising reactions to the just-released trailer for the film. *TAKES A DEEP BREATH* Dude. The trailer for WFE is unbelievable. It’s gorgeous and feels epic. Sit down for a minute and give yourself a gift of the WFE Trailer… HERE>>>>WATER FOR ELEPHANTS TRAILER . His costars, both Oscar-Winning actors, Christoph Waltz and Reese Witherspoon offer commendatory reviews of Rob’s performance as well as his personal character.

Christoph says:

“You’re going to see Rob in a whole new way, a good way. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he were to receive an Oscar nod for this role.”

Reese says:

“He [Rob] is a very sweet, kind man with the nicest family. He worked very hard on this movie and looks great in it too. He’s going through such a weird  life experience right now, but handling it so beautifully, and with such grace.”

2. Remember that we are ALL Other together. This is where I’m gonna drop the L Word (also an excellent though now completed TV show) again on you, my friends. Another thing we all have in common, aside from our ravishingly unique inner and outer beauty, is that we have one, two, maybe twenty  or more people we care about. I encourage us all to remember what it is like to love someone: A spouse, partner, friends, roommates, boyfriends, girlfriends, siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews, etc…. I personally would throw myself in front of a bus if it meant saving my beloved Monkey niece from feeling pain. You parental units out there know exactly the level of sacrifice you would make for the LOVE of your child. Is it too far-fetched to think you might want to protect your loved ones from physical plus verbal and emotional stressors? Is it too ungainly to believe that Kristen and Robert feel this passionate protectiveness over their own hearts and physical well-being, in addition to each others’?

3. Bring it back to YOU. As always, I remind myself and my fellow Misfits to find the courage to look in the mirror, to ask myself what I can control and contribute in this fandom and in my 3D life. I can’t control how others behave publicly and in their personal lives, but I can do something about how I am representing for Otherness. If I am reacting passionately and emotionally to something happening in the Cyber World, or in the Twi Fandom, I stop myself and wonder, “What is this? What is happening in my life right now that is effecting how I view this situation?” And with a little quiet time,  withdrawal from being online or engrossed in a project, I find my answers. My own relationship, my own job, my family, my financial matters or my pathway to Bliss have been neglected.

While this Kristen & Rob Christmas Picture drama erupted in the online fandom the other night, I removed myself from any debates and checked my emails. It turns out I had received an email from a work colleague from a counseling agency I used to work with a few years ago, back in my home town. I learned, to my great shock, that another former coworker of mine was in a horrific car accident a couple days ago and she is in critical care at a hospital. Her husband, her love, a man I believe was her soul mate, was killed. He was only a couple years older than I, in his early to mid-thirties and desperately in love with my friend who is now a young widow. The whole of my former agency is devastated. They had been married only three years.

Yesterday, my good friend called, appropriately so, @TrueLove was laid off from a prestigious legal position that she’s held for many years. A week before Christmas. She’s a mother and a wife and a skilled professional and she, like millions of us, are unemployed.

My husband N and I are  preparing for our second interview with U.S. Immigration to review N’s status as a permanent resident here in the U.S. (Note: See the movie Green Card  for immigration shenanigans!)  I was going to tell you all our story, it’s pretty incredible, but perhaps I’ll give the details another time. I’ve spoken a lot this essay. But I can say that N and I have experienced challenges of scrutiny, naysayers and great concern because of the way we met, and how we “courted” and the exotic ways we tried to fight to keep a relationship alive when we were never on the same continent together. We’ve been married for over 2 years now, and we’re still under the magnifying glass because N comes from a country that is placed on  the “Red Flag” list.  (i.e. threat of terrorism due to Religious affiliation).

So seriously. There are enough real-life, unbelievably profound events occurring as we speak. Does a Twitter popularity contest or the curiosity about the personal lives of two young artists –who don’t want the attention anyway–take precedence over life, death, family, unemployment and immigration issues?

PERSPECTIVE.

So the picture above, of the beautiful afterglow? That was taken by N. He is an extraordinarily gifted photographer, today taking a leap in following his own bliss. *If you’re interested in seeing more of N’s photos, contact KinoPhotography@gmail.com. He’ll link you to his gallery that we’re in process of setting up*. We didn’t even know he was so gifted in photography until he came here to The States almost 3 years ago, and began playing around with my point-and-shoot digital camera. So here we are, encouraging each other to follow our Bliss.

It is here that I’d normally move on to introduce the Featured Rebel Royal for the week. But I think the two Majestic Misfits we’ve discussed today already beautifully illustrate my Musings on the good practice of keeping perspective…and LOVE. I’ll happily give them free reign of Musings this week. *cheesy grin*.

REIGNING OTHER QUEEN: KRISTEN STEWART

“Unless you respect and like yourself, nobody else is going to”

ROBERT IS OTHER.

KRISTEN IS OTHER.

OTHERS DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE LARGER PERSPECTIVE.

EMBRACE YOUR OTHER.

 

QUESTION: How do you prompt yourself back to YOU in order to maintain perspective?

A/N: I have updated the Sentence Completion Activity in the ABOUT KJ section…check it and leave some of your own answers if you feel inspired to do so! For next week, I will post a Holiday Edition of Musings with a new Giveaway that will have very much to do with PERSPECTIVE and The Pursuit of BLISS (pssst, check N’s photography). We’ll talk holiday traditions, and a Kristen Stewart 2010 Retrospective…

CC over at KSIBTU is asking you to send in pics of how you and your city shows Holiday Spirit (and how of course, Kristen is far superior to all-KSIBTU after all). Send yours into her! Here are mine that I’m sending… See you next week, Lovelies!! Always, KJ

This beautiful wooden, painted train is carrying large, colorfully wrapped presents. It is beneath a ginormous, decorated Pine tree placed on the center divider of a major street. Can you see the traveling Other Tiara?

T-Rex can be found among the giant Snow Flakes of the Science Museum

wordpress visitors