Tag Archives: Rebel Royals

Revisiting Resolutions

13 Jan

Hello and happy 2011 to you, my lovelies! I hope this finds you well, healthy, rested and reinvigorated for the new year. How were your holidays and where were you when you welcomed the new year?  To many folks’ delight, we discovered that our Reinging Queen of Other created a bit of a tradition for herself, returning for the second year to the Isle of Wight with her partner Robert to observe the start of 2011. While a few accounts popped up online through various social networking sites, it was gratifying (at least for me) to know that Kristen, Rob and their Britpack friends (Tom Sturridge and Sam Bradley among them) were together, in the company of beloveds to welcome the fresh canvas of a year, essentially undisturbed. Well, almost. Undisturbed until an “aspiring actress”, a proclaimed “fan” approached Kristen and Rob while at a pub, and asked to take a photo with them. After a few moments of discomfort, Our Royal Rebel Kristen politely declined the picture, but she ultimately conceded  (perhaps a re-evaluation of the situation) and posed with the fan and Rob. It appears, at least to me, that both Kristen and Rob (who was feeling a bit under the weather at the time)  knew exactly what would happen once the picture was snapped. Check their facial expressions:

And our peaceful vacation is over in 3...2...1...TWEET

Sure enough. Said “fan” logged onto her Facebook, posted the picture (the original snapshot included the fan in between our Rebels) and she shared her thoughts on her encounter with The Pretty. Well, I think we all know that Facebook has something close to 600 million users, with half of those folks boasting Twitter accounts as well. The picture, the pub’s name and location, and this “fan”‘s encounter were public in mere moments, and one could almost hear the very new and delicate family tradition of Isle of Wight for Stewart, Pattinson and BritPackers alike shattering. I would not be at all surprised if the second annual IOW New Year’s Tradition is now The Posthumous New Year’s Tradition. It was especially sweet  (sarcasm) when the “fan” indicated that Kristen was “ungrateful” and  that Kristen shouldn’t be an actress if she didn’t want to deal with people seeking pictures and autographs. Chatty Fan was completely oblivious to any hypocrisy, since she in fact, did get a picture of both Kristen and Rob and yet she appeared less than gracious about it all. It is in those moments where I find myself shaking my head in wonder, and also silently congratulating Kristen and Rob for maintaining patience and grace when neither is granted to them.

*IOW traditions drift into the sunset*

I get it. We hadn’t seen a current photo of either Kristen or Rob in many weeks, but Kristen in particular had been her usual NinjaStew self for months. KStew Withdrawal Symptoms had set in steadily, and the remedy included revisiting previous photo shoots, or listening to the Eclipse Commen-tree on loop. Of course, since that gracious “aspiring” thespian included her location in her Facebook recounting, fans and photographers alike grew brazen and more pictures surfaced from Kristen’s brief holiday (they had about 3 days on IOW before flying back to Baton Rouge for Breaking Dawn filming). Included in the photos that emerged from that weekend is what appears to be a nuzzle-and-kiss exchange between Kristen and her beautiful consort. I couldn’t help but wonder if theIOW weekend was an indicator of the sparkling, dramatic year ahead.

The Chosen

So for New Year’s Eve and Day, do you find yourself meditating on your plans for success and health for the approaching year? Do find yourself with a clear resolve for improvements and positive challenges? Sometimes a kick-start in motivation is required to pursue our resolutions. For instance, I realized I needed to find a way to pay for our satellite TV services to be reinstalled because the digital antenna we have now is a monstrosity and we have a scrambled picture and stuttering audio every 15 minutes if the city train passes nearby. What was the proverbial slap in the face that solidified my assessment? In the near-unbearable first 95 minutes, where the scrambled picture was a welcomed relief, I was most annoyed  that the last 25 minutes of the People’s Choice Awards were intermittently smeared and blocked here:

oh. MY.


Whatcha lookin' at, Rob?

Annnnd here…

So telling, this photo. I see a bubble.

So we need a new cable option, we needed a different system months ago, really. The Golden Globes are this weekend, I don’t know if I can handle the scramble-screen nightmare. Luckily, I have my trusty, sexy MacBook Pro and a strong wireless signal and I didn’t miss out on some of the jaw-dropping reminders of why Kristen is and forever shall be, Queen. She was chosen by The People as Favorite Movie Actress after all. *eyes glaze over*

I am not saying anything that hasn’t already been mentioned elsewhere, everywhere, over a week ago. But I personally think Kristen has NEVER looked more stunning. I’m admiring the uber short hemline of her golden Reem Acra dress, accentuating her un.be.lieveable legs; I’m also applauding the stylists responsible for the flawless tousled, sultry hair and makeup she’s rocking; I’m charmed by her soft, halting words and humble acceptance speech:

Thank you so much! I’ve never been to The People’s Choice Awards, so it’s very exciting. But I’d always thank the fans..uh, I mean, I know I’ve said this before, but we share the stuff like this …(holds up pretty award to the audience) Awesome. You guys did it again. It’s very cool (camera pans to Rob’s adoring gaze on her from the audience). We’re shooting Breaking Dawn right now (audience bursts into cheers), and it’s going really well, we’re having a lot of fun. We’re working with the coolest people and it’s always surreal to be in moments like this…I was a vampire this morning in Baton Rouge…”

I didn’t get to see all of this in tact the first time, per usual, as the train barreled through in the middle of her speech, but with the beauty of YouTube, I was able to catch glimpses of The Greatness.

such joy. and color coordination. usual.

Unfortunately, like IOW, like always, the detractors and vultures, as well as the insecure, and the petty-voiced emerged from the shadows, despite the lovely night full of positivity (um, ok, only the last 30 minutes were truly tolerable). The BullShit People and NonSensicals were combing through the show’s video footage and pictures with weary eyes and toxic mouths, filtering through a loathing haze: comments indicating Kristen was too this, or not enough that, throwing around the usual familiar words and phrases: “awkward”, “cold”, “insecure”, “favoring Taylor, while ignoring Rob”, “weird”, all while she spoiled the movie” with her mention of being a vampire in Baton Rouge…Even “expert analysts” offered up opinions that were manipulated for an unkind agenda and published online as if accurate and unbiased. A’ight. Shut it. Because, again, like IOW and in countless situations presented, Kristen and Rob gave for the fans and were genuine, poised and graceful, even while they knew they were under fire. Thats Royalty, my friends.

New Resolve, New Vision

There are appropriate responses to the BullShit People, in Kristen’s life, in our own lives. To address some of Kristen’s critics, I feel it’s helpful to share some of my own discoveries in this two-week self-imposed withdrawal period. The Kick-Start to motivation, I mentioned earlier? Yeah, so I need a new cable service. But I also needed a mirror.  Remember the video interview conducted between myself and a psychotherapist search engine/advertising company a few weeks ago? Some of you lovelies imparted wonderful advice for me re: posture, colors to wear, colors to avoid (RED), the importance of eye contact….um. Yeah. I received the first round of edits back last week. I’m trying to hold back tears as I’m typing, I’m still so traumatized.

that was me, except I was wearing red and had my too-wild hair down

You know how startling it is when you hear your speaking voice for the first time in a voicemail? Have you experienced how awkward it is to watch yourself on a video screen, say in a home movie, or on your phone’s movie application?  I had a couple weeks to prepare for this forty-five minute interview in front of a small camera crew speaking about a topic I am familiar with and considered an “expert” in. When I arrived at the set for the filming, I felt pretty confident and calm. There was an issue with the background screen, hence me changing from a neutral toned sweater to a RED sweater, but no big, dramatic deal. We flowed. My interviewer was extraordinary and knowledgeable, and I was very comfortable with him, forgetting the camera was on me. I felt solid and grounded for the entire process, except when I blushed because the cute, nerdy AV guys were very complimentary. #ILoveNerds

A pic found off the greatest website ever: Awkward Family Photos. New Game: Spot the Other and give a fist pump

All right my interview video wasn’t  quite that awkward but this picture (along with the link to Women’s Day magazine) showed up when I googled “uncomfortable and awkward” and I had to share it. Let me tell you, these lovely folks have better hair and posture than I do in my video. My hair was too-long and a mass all around my big head, I was leaning to the side and speaking in some moments with a lisp…kay, what the fuck? I don’t have a lisp, and I am not cute like Drew Barrymore who does have a lisp.

My point is this: I had a couple weeks to prepare for the interview and take into account what you experienced folks advised for me. I am a confident conversationalist and I am knowledgeable in my area of study, which was the topic of the interview. The 45 minute interview was expertly pared down to 3 and half minutes and I sounded assured and knowledgeable….but  I personally  thought I appeared dreadful.

I had ample prep time and an editing team for my on-screen debut, and I still sought out the blemishes, the mistakes, the uncomfortable, my own private eye.  After the third viewing, I dried my tears and noticed that my makeup in the video was well done, and that my words were important and welcoming, and that my dress was nice…And how great is it that I have started my own tiny business and I have this great moment to share my work with other people?……See, I had time to review and acclimate, get comfortable with this re-evaluation, re-envisioning…

On the contrary, our Royal Kristen Stewart, having worked many hours on a film set, hops a plane with her 2 costars Rob and Taylor and flies across the continent from Baton Rouge to Los Angeles that same day to attend an award show that could be called abysmal at best for less than forty-five minutes. She did it for supporters of the Twilight Saga. And she did it with stunning grace and style. And in 15-Inch Heels no less. She looked incredible, and she was charming, sweet and humble. Rob didn’t have to come to the show (he didn’t win in any of the categories he was personally nominated in) but he was there. He was there to support the movie but more importantly to support Kristen. And yet people complained. People found the cadence of her speech, facial expressions or the direction she leaned offensive still and attempted to tear her down, tear down her relationship with Rob.

My request of those critics?? Video tape yourself wearing 15-inch heels walking up slippery steps in front of millions of people to give an endearing acceptance speech.Be sure to do it once you step off a plane after you’ve flown for 6 hours, ok?

We all have our Awkward Photo/VideoFace, my friends, but most of us are not forced to reveal it on live television and in front of esteemed peers (Ohai, Natalie Portman and Johnny Depp!!). Keep the perspective, everyone. We Others consistently work for this, and are appreciative when our Reinging Other Queen models such poise and grace for us.

Not too shabby, eh?

So after my own kick-start, I picked myself up off the floor and didn’t wallow for too long, though admittedly, when on holiday vacation and surviving familial drama hasn’t worn a gal down, then a stark video of herself with Yeti hair sure can cause some stumbling.

An addendum to some personal resolutions as direct response to my video viewing/PCAs viewing:

1. Cut the hair I have, it looks fabulous, and my hubs N flirts with me in an outrageous fashion lately. I like it. A Lot.

2. Sit up straight because it looks as if I’m folding in on myself or leaning to the side, as if I’m ashamed. What am I hiding from? I’m a knowledgeable, articulate girl! Slumping is distracting.

3. Remind myself that while I have my demons to struggle with, so many Others do as well. We are Other together.

4. Continue to keep things in perspective. Of all the perceived shortcomings and imperfections I can spot in myself and others (though our self-criticism is the loudest and most damning of all voices) there are far more favorable, felicitous and more encompassing matters that deserve my attention. So while I may not like my hair or my facial expressions in an advertisement video, the fact that I’ve been blessed with an opportunity to make an advertisement video transcends. And I live in a world where major things are happening: floods in South America and Australia, a fierce Congresswoman fighting for her life and babies being born *Waves to @Ophelia2010‘s beautiful Royal-Rebel-In-Training*.

Let’s chat a bit about how these Unconventional Beauties remind themselves to keep perspective and stay on course, shallll we??

Featured Royal Rebel: Natalie Portman

This exquisitely lovely Rebel has long held a place in my heart of hearts. She is only two years younger than I and I feel that I’ve grown up always conscious of her work in film and in the world in general. While she was known to the world audience as Queen Amidala (See? She was crowned royalty from the beginning) in the Star Wars Prequels, she had already gained traction and critical acclaim  (and my undying devotion) for her debut role as a 12-year-old orphan-turned assassin’s assistant in the glorious movie Leon (The Professional). She was only 12  and starring opposite esteemed actors Jean Reno and Gary Oldman. It was with her appearance in 1996’s Beautiful Girls–where she played a young neighbor with the an ancient soul of a poet opposite Timothy Hutton–that I realized this luminous girl was destined to join The Greats in the film industry. Of course, I am simply an audience member, not a film critic, nor an actor. So my assessment and grand statements stem only from my response to her presence and charisma on screen, and over time, from my admiration of unconventional choices she’s made  as a person and a woman that highlights her supreme Royal Otherness.

Born in Jerusalem, Israel, Natalie is the only child of physician father and artist mother. When Natalie was 3 years old, her family relocated to Washington D.C., and subsequently to New York where she spent her childhood. At age 11, the luminous Ms Portman was spotted by an agent while she was at a pizza parlor, and encouraged by said agent to pursue modeling. However,  Natalie declined the suggestion, choosing instead to concentrate on performance and acting. She had been enrolled in dance classes since she was four years old and performed in local troupes when she was not in school. Already at such a young age, our Featured Rebel was displaying her propensity towards Otherness, and traits that she shares with our Reigning Other Queen Kristen began emerging: ambition, dedication, determination, focus. Natalie reports, “I knew what I liked and what I wanted, and I worked very hard. I was a very serious kid.”

Her focus and passion simply informed her future choices. An animal rights advocate, Natalie chose to be a vegetarian when she was 8 years old, and became a vegan in 2009. She does not eat animal products or wear fur, feathers, or leather. While her star was rising, Natalie decided to only film movies during the summer breaks while she was in high school, and skipped the premiere of Star Wars: Episode 1 so she could study for her final exams. In one of many rebellious, Other moments, Natalie has said,

“I’m going to college. I don’t care if it ruins my career. I’d rather be smart than a movie star”

Well, she’s managed to be both. In 1999, Ms Portman began her attendance at Harvard University where she pursued her interest in foreign languages and ultimately earned a degree in psychology. Before her freshman year at the Ivy League University, Natalie had already had completed roles in six films, including Heat and Anywhere But Here. She adhered to her decision to limit any filming while she was enrolled at Harvard, with the exception of her work in The Star Wars prequels. She did, however, work alongside legendary actors Kevin Kline, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep in a New York City Theater Production of The Seagull.

In an age of over-tanned, siliconed, consta-smiling contemporaries, Natalie turned the opposite direction and sought enhancement of her intellect. She dropped out of the entertainment industry to study and research enzymatic production of hydrogen as well as frontal lobe activation, both studies earning the esteemed honor of publication in professional scientific journals. Um. How sexy is THAT? Verra verra sexxah, if you ask me.

Serio. How hot is THIS?

After her graduation from Harvard in 2003, Natalie began to seamlessly appear in films again, balancing independent (read: transcendant) projects such as the splendorous Garden State and the Award-Winning though heart-heavy Closer (for which Natalie was nominated for her first Oscar Award). She is a supporter of antipoverty movements and promotes micro-lending to assist financial support to women who own businesses in 3rd-World countries such as Uganda, Guatamala and Ecuador. She refers to herself as “boring” and admits that there is “so much else to do in the world…to just do films would limit my life.” She relishes that she has close girlfriends now, and that she sees them every day to enjoy mundane activities such as hiking, museum attending, having lunch. She humbly deflects the immense praise raining down upon her for her the dark, stylish horror-amongst ballerinas film Black Swan. Natalie is on every prestigious watch list imaginable and is the front-runner for an Academy Award nomination and win. The story of Black Swan could really symbolize Ms Natalie’s own story: acknowledging, confronting and embracing all facets of herself to reach her highest creative potential, her highest self, her authentic self. The Scientist, The Poet, The Student, The Actress, The Daughter, The Woman, The Child, The Advocate, The Rapper…?

Please tell me you’ve seen Natalie’s outrageously hysterical SNL Digital Short in which she is the scariest, most bad-ass rapper with Andy Samberg as her Viking Sidekick? Puh-LEEEEEZE tell me you’ve seen it! If you havent… Well, Here You Go:

CLICK THIS PIC for Natalie to go gansta on your asssss. You won't be sorry.

So as Natalie progresses into this new phase of life–she and her Black Swan choreographer/ballet dancer fiance Benjamin Millepied are expecting their first child together–she will continue to gracefully, gorgeously, seamlessly meld the facets of who she is, all the hats she wears together as one. Living it, being her “fullest self”, as she calls it. Because Natalie Portman feels that living and being her “fullest self” is the most difficult, therefore the most pleasurable existence, she is Rebel Royalty.

Offenses of Otherness:

*Prefers getting an education over acting

*States that recognition for her work is lovely, but not important. At. All.

“The moment you believe the idea you’re above anyone else, is the moment you need to be slapped in the face”

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

After her regal and award-winning appearance at The PCA’s, Kristen literally hopped onto a plane with Rob and Taylor and flew back to Baton Rouge to continue filming the last two installments of Breaking Dawn. With the start of a new year, it’s only natural to wonder what our Majestic Misfit’s future plans are. We know she is scheduled to film BD until approximately May/June of this year and promotion for the final installments will continue through 2012. But will our girl decide if her next role will be another art-house Indie or a studio film with risk-taking, unconventional directors?

First still from BD. *bowing down to Bill Condon. Again.*

The Publication Vulture online  spoke with producers and agents regarding Ms Stewart’s uniquely powerful position as a successful franchise actor with Indie cred in an article from October 2010. It is no secret that our Rebel Queen is well-respected and well liked by her Hollywood peers. A top agent interviewed for this article reports that Kristen possesses “depth” and scope that is “highly unusual” for her age and a rarity in comparison to her contemporaries. But could her decision to do a commercial, studio movie after Twilight wraps prove harmful? Or would that route be the key to her success?  These are the musings of the Vulture article author. This is where I feel Kristen’s feisty and stunning uniqueness, her Otherness emerges. How “success” is defined is subjective. Success can mean drawing a large crowd at the box office. Success also can mean that the actor feels a personal affinity with the role chosen. Kristen has always shown a tremendously accurate instinct in choosing her roles. She also has never picked a project featuring a character to whom she cannot relate . In the fantastic Flaunt interview of Issue 109, the enchanting actress says:

“People want you to be so over the moon for the position you’re in, that you have no principles, no sense of the world around you…Well, I don’t want to be that”

Our Misfit Rebel Kristen does not choose projects based on an obvious Pay Day or box office clout, nor fame. She seeks work that satisfies her genuine, inquisitive, nature, and she is curious as to how the role can be expressed through a particular filter–knowledge– as a young woman in today’s society. The analysts at Vulture wonder how she can bridge her talents as a dramatic actress in tiny films to an audience-garnering “movie star”. And while it’s understandable as to why industry insiders are encouraging Kristen to pursue bigger-budgeted films, these analysts don’t seem to truly account for our feisty Queen’s propensity towards the unexpected.I don’t think they get “it”.  Kristen does not seek fame,  nor does she petition for the Popularity vote  (although she is Musings’ Ambassador of Other, but that’s because I nominated and elected her. *shrugs*). She does not desire the title of “Movie Star”. She dislikes labels altogether quite frankly. Instead Kristen Stewart quests for a visceral connection with the characters she chooses to portray, and admits and accepts that it’s could be either a “hit or miss”  with an audience. It’s her willingness to take risks, but unwillingness to sacrifice authenticity and principals that assures me. When and if she’s approached a cross roads in this new year, she will simply push forward in her journey for genuine and meaningful connection. Something tells me Kristen Jaymes will be juuuust fine. Whatever project she does participate in next, I imagine I’ll be stunned and inspired, as always.

Offenses of Otherness:

*Unwavering dedication to the protection of her personal life.

*Views fame as the least important of values derived from work.

“The perception of me that I don’t give a fuck…Could not be further from the truth”

Well, Lovelies, as this first Musings for 2011 winds to a close, the reveal of  Kristen’s new VOGUE cover emerged….Let’s take a reverent moment of silence together now…

Today we spoke of living life fully and reminding ourselves to re-evaluate and perhaps make adjustments to our goals for the year if it means we’re still in touch with perspective and pursuing different modes of obtaining and embracing Otherness.  I needed this two week break to remind myself (and watch a video of myself) that I had a vision, a path for this year. Stay the course. I’m still on the Royal Court float, even when it’s bumpy.

Natalie Portman is enjoying the fruits of merging her many facets into one strong, independent, thriving beauty. Because she seeks challenges outside of the options placed in front of her, Natalie is an Majestic Misfit and Rebel Queen.

Kristen Stewart is blessed with opportunity at a crossroads. She may not have to make any adjustments to her plan this New Year because she has already achieved personal and professional success, no matter how it’s defined. Because she continues to march through the crossroads (standards, expectations) on an unconventional route, Kristen Stewart is our Reinging Other Queen.

Natalie is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others recognize the importance of revisiting resolutions.

Embrace your Other.


QUESTION: Are you a resolution maker for the New Year? What triggers you to re-evaluate resolutions and goals?

A/N: Ok Loves. Next week (and maybe sooner, because Kristen Goodness is BLOWING UP these days), we’re talking biggies: First Loves, First Loss, and  the glories of Risk Taking. You know why.

There is so much love for you, those who have stuck with me these past 6+ months. Your letters, emails, tweets, subscriptions, comments…they humble me and make me cry. You own me completely. It’s going to be a fantastic year, I think. Yours, KJ

The 2010 Stew Review-Happy New Year!

30 Dec

We didn’t come here by accident.

We each came here for a purpose

that is uniquely our own.

We didn’t come here to fit in.

We came here to be who we are.  ~AGC

*Places HAPPY NEW YEAR crown atop head and fumbles around for flute of champagne* Hello there my friends!  I cannot believe that this year is coming to a close already. Such a year. Personally, this was one of the most rewarding years I’ve ever experienced. Ever. KStew-wise? Extraordinary. She simply owned 2010. It became obvious when I asked folks to share their favorite Kristen Stewart moments of 2010, that the task and responses given were complex. I realize I basically asked us all to do a long division problem in our heads without paper or pencil. Why? Because Reigning Other Queen Kristen Jaymes Stewart ruled this year. Starting with an innocent picture with a young fan from Ventnor, Isle of Wight and building with each surfacing picture, public event, and interview, Kristen showed us why she is ROYALTY.

Happy New Year, Royal Rebels! Surprise! We were together for the holidays!

In a year that began with confirmations and the dispelling of rumors and “insider” claims of Kristen spending her time away from Robert, it was only bound to evolve into a great year. So many events including raw interviews, red carpet premieres, the release of four Kristen-featured movies and unbelievable STEEZE highlights of 2010, and you all stepped up. I know it was difficult to narrow down the epicness to only a handful of “moments”, but you provided so many prime exhibits of Kristen’s domination. There is nothing left for me to do but celebrate the evidential support that Kristen is indeed better than us and that our Queen has gracefully served an honorable term as an Ambassador of Other. Here are your Top Five Moments/Events in which Kristen represented Royalty, Beauty and Ownership of Otherness.

#5: NonVerbal Communication/MTV Majesty

These two events were tied in the number of mentions for inspiring awe. When Kristen toured down unduh Australia with Taylor to promote Eclipse, she had some things to say to the hordes of Vultures shadowing her step (and also perhaps to note her displeasure at being carted around on quite the punishing schedule?), all without saying a word. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of these pics. Preach it, Kristen!

MTV does tend to elicit some wonderful unguarded Kris and Robert Moments…case in point: MTV Music Awards 2009:

This year, Kristen taking home the MTV Movie Award for Best Movie Actress and Best Kiss (with Robert), only enhanced the glory of the evening . Kristen sported long hair extensions and a Dolce & Gabbana ensemble, color-coordinating beautifully with her partner in crime, Mr “Deliciously Handsome” Pattinson, all while she navigated through endearingly awkward stumbles, fumbles and “Kiss-Cams”. Its ok,  because at the end of the night, when accepting his own Best Actor award, Robert singled out two special ladies: Catherine Hardwicke, for “everything” and Kristen herself, calling her “the lynchpin of the series”.  So true, Rob. So true. I’m glad that you know this, just as we knew this all along, even if the film’s production team doesn’t exactly acknowledge it.

#4: We Feelya, Brasilia/ Lady O Mah Goodness!

Well, the #4 Moment in the Stew Review is also a tie. Our most recent glimpses of our quintessential Smart Girl found her roaming and laughing  in the streets of Brasil in a Michael Kors dress as she returned to her now iconic role of Bella Swan for the the final two-part installment of the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. While many of you simply stated that “Brasil” was epic, it was harder narrowing it down…Teeny-tiny Bikinis and chess-playing cockblocking aside… For many of you, the prize was observing a a smiling, confident Kristen, inhabiting a role that brings us all home again.

I was hanging with a cyber sister @robkris13 in my hometown when the balcony pictures first surfaced. Yeah. We squealed.

Engaged in text-screaming with CC (@KStewsBtrThanU) and shot a flurry of emails to my Cyber Sisters when the street fair pics emerged.

…I have no clue where I was when these came out…I’d lost my mind by then.

You know you’ve hit critical mass when you’re invited to speak with Lady O on her talk show. When Oprah repeats continuously that you’re apart of a “PHEE-NOM-UH-NONNN”, and she points out numerous times that “you’re shy”, causing a murmur of discomfort, you’ve arrived, baby. Oh. Wait. No, the baby has not arrived, says Rob. It’s still inside Kristen.  “Kristen’s Pregnant.”

K: Seriously? We're gonna do this now? We didn't discuss it THIS way, Rob

I loved catching a glimpse of The Trio in these backstage video segments featured on Oprah’s website. Clearly the three actors care for and have a chemistry with each other.

#3: On The Road to Montreal

How stoked were you to hear that Kristen was going to portray Marylou in the film adaptation of the American literary classic On the Road? If you were like me, you were dying with excitement. Not only is this story one of my very favorites of all time, but Francis Ford Coppola and his production team had locked Kristen in to star in the film two years ago. This cemented the notion that Kristen is sought out by colleagues of legendary proportions to participate in their projects. *shakes head in wonder, because it’s kinda a big fucking deal*  And while she was filming what I can only think will be a supreme film this summer in Baton Rouge, Argentina and the lovely Montreal…well, things happened..

The above picture was the only pic I felt remotely comfortable posting from that night. This is one of the clearer ones amongst a batch that included shady, grainy shots of Kristen and Rob kissing while waiting for their elevator. TomStu was there too, bless his heart, not that anyone noticed him. The press perpetually referred to him as, “a friend”…if at all. I’m always #TeamTommy though. I saw you there, Tom!

For the record, I hold Strawberry-MarylouStew (and in this picture, her braid) responsible for the trigger of such Montreal epicness…

I mean, clearly, Kristen’s man felt the need to travel all the way across the continent (twice!) to let his girl know in person how much he likes her hair.

Note that none of the Montreal pics were taken full-on, face-forward. Yeah, the Vultures and set stalkers were particularly ravenous during this time…but Rob (and later, TomStu, Sam Riley and Garrett Hedlund) did what they could to keep our Reigning Other Queen securely guarded. Thanks, boys. Seriously. #ProtectThePrecious

#2: Our Rising Star

There isn’t too much more I can say about this event, voted the second most momentous KStew Occasion in this 2010 Stew Review by Musings Readers. Kristen Jaymes Stewart was nominated by members of  the esteemed British Academy of Film and Television for her provision of provocative, gifted performances in film, also exhibiting influence and generating acclaim and interest while doing so. Then the public further confirmed the nominated actor’s appeal and talent by voting for and electing the year’s most notable, emerging talent. It’s quite an honor, and quite fitting that our Majestic Misfit was crowned Rising Star in the presence of acting royalty, but also, quite literally, Royal Royalty. Prince William was witness to the crowning of a Royal Rebel. Our Queen of Other.

#1: Remembering Him, Publicly

Ok, drumrolllll……The number one most-mentioned or alluded to event I received in my email box this week referred to an instant in which again, our Unconventional Beauty used no words.  In fact, she did everything in her NinjaStew power to avoid having attention on her at all–she walked by cameras and reporters, avoided interviews. . .Well, to ignore Kristen Stewart in this moment would be like ignoring a zebra that wanders into your living room. It was in New York City, on a cold and damp March evening, and Robert Pattinson and Pierce Brosnan were walking a fairly abbreviated red carpet into a theater that was premiering an independent film called Remember Me. Just weeks after Rob supposedly told a British journalist that he and Kristen “are together”, Kristen confirmed her affection and show of support for Robert and his flourishing career by arriving (despite discouragement and naysayers) unannounced and unexpectedly at a nonTwilight event: The Remember Me premiere.

Wearing a black leather jacket and golden leggings, Kristen appeared relaxed and undaunted as the press line immediately erupted in cheers and requests for interviews. She granted none, but instead walked over to the fan area and said hello to admirers there, signing autographs and posing for pictures with them. Humble and careful to keep the focus on Rob and his Remember Me costars (including Emilie de Ravin and the delightful Ruby Jerins), Kristen spoke thousands of messages this night (rebellion, support, love, humility, and yes, I’m with Rob for Rob) without uttering a single syllable. This might seem anti-climactic to some, but to those who know the history of this time period (film executives wanted distance between Kristen’s presence at a Non-Twi event; also, rabid, volatile NOT-Fans were  making their presence known by threatening physical harm against Kristen simply for breathing in the same vicinity of Rob) but Kristen’s appearance represented courage and rebelliousness in a very classy, poised package. Ladies and gentlemen, you are in the presence of Royalty.

So, my lovelies and Misfits…that’s The Stew Review of 2010, based on your responses to my question re: your favorite Stewie Moments. There were so many amazing events revealed this year, and narrowing down the greatness was a bitch, I know, but y’all did fabulously! Your answers were illuminating, confirming and supportive in Our Reigning Other Queen’s extraordinary year, and we held many favorite events in common. For instance, your Favorite Kristen Stewart Movie from 2010, amongst the four she released?  OH YESSSSSSS.

She is fierce, heartbreaking and exquisitely right in this under-appreciated little film about Joan Jett’s first quest in following her dreams. She turned heads and garnered glowing reviews and utmost respect from colleagues and film critics. She also gained a new set of admirers as she teaches this new generation about girls who rock.

Ohai, UK Elle! Voted your favorite Print Interview/Photoshoot for many reasons. Yeah. It’s mine tooo.

SOOOOO, I could go through and jaw on every single one of these moments/events as profoundly effecting for their various reasons. But I found that the most moving of all events that occurred for me personally this year in relation to our Reigning Queen is in the creation of Musings, therefore, the introduction and connection with you all. You have all stunned and humbled me in so many ways and have become essential place holders on Team Other and Team Dance-in-the-Bubbles. I say in all seriousness that you granted me energy and courage and motivation to speak up in this fandom, but also in my own life. I also have acquired dear, dear friends whom I hope to have for life. I am embarrassingly short on words to describe my gratitude. But know, if I were eloquent and funny like my Team Other Captains CC, Bouffant and Buff, I would properly and wittily express my love to you…and to the muse named Kristen Stewart. Here, have some Pretty, mmmkay?

The Rebellious Beauty Collaboration Giveaway

But Since I’m  not as eloquent and witty as my cohorts, I’m going to take the time now to thank the Readers who left thoughtful and soulful answers in the comment section last week to enroll in the Giveaway of Buff82 & N’s insanely gorgeous collaborations on Beauty. Here are the 2 winners of the Moo Collab Giveaway:

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:



Congratulations!!!! Number 6 is a long-time Musings supporter and Blissful affiliate (and fanfic h00r like me) Crystal @TakeMeToBliss. I feel very, very good about this. Crystal has written me after and/or commented on probably every single Musings essay ever written. She is a fierce supporter of Otherness and a firm believer that KSIBTUs, and she is a gifted and soulful writer in her own right.

Number 2 is also a long-time Musings supporter and often serves as a muse to me as we discuss family, school, travel and the ff crack. KATE @kate_Suena ! This is also so very good because Katie has been slaving away on her finals at University up there in Canada, so a little break and the reminder of Otherness and keeping Perspective couldn’t come at a better time.

Again, a reminder, these are the 3 Featured Prints that Crystal and Kate can now choose from.  And stay tuned in the approaching weeks. My uber talented friend Buff and ridonk gifted husband N have collaborated on several more prints. The prints are un. real.

I’m not going to get weepy (much) right here as I bid adieu to 2010. In the spirit of keeping perspective and following bliss, I will share my new year’s hope for Kristen, for me and for us all.

For Kristen: My hope is that you know in your soul how courageous and extraordinary you are.

For Rob: My hope is that you continue to move forward with the wit, grace and intelligence you’ve displayed all this year. You’ve been glorious, even when it’s been daunting.

For Us/Others/Majestic Misfits/Royal Rebels: My hope for us is that we continue to seek the good in ourselves and in Others.

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year celebration! If 2010 was any indicator of how blessed we are, then 2011 is going to be overflowing.

To Kristen, Rob and Unconventional Beauty! CHEERS!!!

We are Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others come here to be who they are.

Embrace Your Other.

Question: Has this been the year that you came here to be who you are?

A/N: I will be taking at least one week off in the new year to take care of some 3D stuff that simply cannot be ignored any longer (ohai, immigration. business licensing. family health. pursuit of bliss). I hope you all have a safe and wondrous New Year’s Eve and Day and I look forward to chatting Other Rebellion with you in 2011. We have so many Featured Rebels to discuss including the ladies of The Black Swan, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Plus we must touch base with one another to see how the Embracing of Other is going for ourselves and our loved ones. I hope to be back by January 13, 2011 with a New MOO, but if something absolutely mind-bogglingly Other takes place, I’ll be here, Musing and babbling about it with you. I’m not wandering far. Swearsies. Happy New Year, Lovelies. Yours Always, KJ


My Cyber Sisters & Readers. You ladies are truly a gift. Happy Anniversary.

To Buff & N, thank you for your generous donation of time an talent to the Giveaways. And Buff, because you make it all so pretty and keep me in check too.

Winners of the Giveaway: Crystal and Kate, let’s touch base and I’ll get your Rebel Beauty Prints in the mail to you pronto!!


Congratulations to Possum Bestie, @ophelia2010!

Acceptance of The Good

21 Oct

What an incredible week(end) its been for our Other Queen (and a feast of the senses for her admirers)! We went from having a few obscure glimpses of her dates out with Rob in Los Angeles a week ago (though they both looked incredibly relaxed and happy) to All Kristen…ALL.THE.TIME. I don’t need to break down her schedule for you guys, you were already along the ride with me, and we probably  exchanged a few tweet-moments of “unf” and “ohmahgawd” and THUDs. But because Kristen killed her press interviews for Welcome to the Rileys and completely dominated the night at the Scream Awards, I’m posting the pretty and fist-pumping in solidarity for our Reining Queen’s clear declaration of superiority. Girlfriend OWNED. EVERYTHING.

So, in a flurry of speculation and second-guessing and in defying space-time-continuum, Kristen, Rob and Taylor all were photographed on the set of Breaking Dawn in Baton Rouge on October 15, as the actors were there to begin pre-production on the films. I am placing a couple of pics up for a few reasons: a) Kristen and Rob were aware the pictures were being taken b.) It’s the return of Rob’s LB hat (I have such hometown pride) c.) It’s the return of Rob’s body guard DEAN, and Kristen’s PA and all-around goodness JOHN; hence, a DeJohn Reunion and, d.) Well, a puppy dog is present. And I love big puppy dogs, as does Kristen.

Ok, so we didn’t actually see those BD set shots until a day or two after they happened, but instead, we were shaking our heads in amazement at the thought that Kristen would really fly back and forth from the east coast to the west coast and back again in the matter of 20 hours. See, she was expected to attend (and film) the Spike Scream Awards in Los Angeles on Saturday night, and literally jet back to the east coast for her press junket and press premieres for Welcome to the Rileys by Monday. Well, our girl pulled it off . She BROUGHT. IT. HARD. She was present to accept her award for Best Actress in  Eclipse. When the first images trickled in of Kristen at the Scream Awards….All I could hear was Gary Wright singing Dream Weaver. Legit. Check my Twitter timeline. Friends began sending me YouTube clips of the song, and the bits from Wayne’s World  (Thanks @RKDaily and @DrownInIt!) It was all slow-mo. Bella-Swan-Hair-Blowing-in-the-wind. White confetti (snowflakes, right? not human scalp?) flitting down from the ceiling. Sparkles. And she looked…goooooood. Brilliant. Spectacular.

Ooooh Dream Weaver...I believe you can get me thru the nigh-hiiight

In her white and black trimmed Guishem mini and Giuseppe Zanotti pumps, I personally thought Kristen has never looked more magnificent.  . . .Coming…or going….

oh holy hell.

I think she looked incredible because she exuded HAPPINESS. JOY. COMFORT. GROUNDING. CONFIDENCE. Over the past few weeks, I feel that we’ve had the great honor of witnessing our Queen grow more assured not only in her physical beauty, but also in the public expression that she and Rob are partners, and in the clever choices she’s made for her career. Currently Kristen is garnering phenomenal critical accolades, thanks to her role as Mallory in Welcome To The Rileys. I’ll speak more on the incredible responses to WTTR in just a few.

She brought her A-Game to the press junket. The young girl–who used to fidget, habitually comb hands through her hair, haltingly produce answers since her cerebral side presided over her spontaneous side–was all but non-existent. In the interview chair sat a woman who was poised, open, friendly, and eloquent as she spoke of the  multitude of bruises on her body from two weeks’ worth of pole dancing practice and how it was to work with Tony Soprano (the rather “teddy-bear-like” James Gandolfini).

What led to this shift for Kristen? What factors lead to any of us to exude and express certainty? Referring to the brilliant and accessible The Curse of the Good Girl by Rachel Simmons (You may recall I favor her work immensely, as she wrote Odd Girl Out, about female aggression and bullying, and we discussed  the topic in The Musings titled: Aphrodite and Kristen Go Against Code ), genuine confidence can be instilled when we ourselves  follow, then teach our children, friends and our Crew a few concepts:


  • Identify Strengths Knowing your challenges is one thing. I think we all can identify things we’re less-than pleased about with ourselves. We accept too readily that we are flawed. We very easily are swayed by external critics, media messages–remember, Kristen refers to these people as the Bullshit People. No wonder she flashes them the double-bird salute. Why can’t we easily accept that we’re good at something? To believe we excel? That we have talent? That we are worthy? Make your list, my lovelies. Do some soul-searching and have some talks with your parents and  your best friends; re-read resumes and old report cards. Knowing your strengths–whether it be incredible balance, the ability to sing opera, do math in your head quickly, roll your tongue– leads to a feeling of uniqueness, pride and resilience. And KStew Fierceness apparently.

In the About KJ Page of this site, I include a Sentence Completion activity (it’s the group therapist in me, I’ve gotta have par-ti-ci-pation! (clapping hands in time)!! Every 10 to 14 days or so, I change out the questions. This edition includes a question about talents, and I’ve included my answer below…

Talents As An 8-Year Old: Jump roping, playing piano, playing handball, roller skating (on quads, yo. Not blades)

Anyway, the point is: if you don’t know what you’re good at, chances are you were once really invested in and gifted in some arena. Are you still doing those things, practicing those habits that allowed you to excel when you were eight years old? I still play piano, I still can rock the quad roller skates, though sadly, I have not played handball since I was maybe ten. But at least I know that I possessed some ability and interest at one point in my life.

  • Articulate Those Strengths Identifying strengths is an uncomfortable matter for many, but think of it like this: The sooner you identify  your talents and skills, the sooner you can secure the job, the college placement, the friends, the partners , the _____________(fill in the blank), that you desire in your life.

I’ve been responsible for hiring new employees in my field, and I’ve been on countless interviews as a counseling intern and as a waitress, a manager, a therapist, and for apartment rentals. COUNTLESS. I learned very quickly that the minute I show my uncertainty and disbelief in answering the question:

“What can you bring to this company? What are your assets? Your strengths, KJ?”

UMMMMM. Well, I have most likely removed myself from candidacy for the position, because I doubted myself and caused the interviewer to doubt me as well.  The ability to acknowledge and then verbalize your strengths is VITAL.

One day, we’ll perhaps breach the subject of all the jobs I’ve held, and places I’ve lived. It’s good stuff.

  • Accept Compliments Ok. I could write several theses on this subject. I’m going to try to do my best to simplify and summarize. *deep breath*. Say. THANK. YOU. Ahh, see? At the very least, when you feel your immediate verbal  smackdown bubbling from your throat—SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE. The feeling you have to deny  a compliment from others is simply your inner dialogue, your inner Bullshit Person whispering at you that you’re not worthy of nice testaments. Please STOP the negative self-talk. For one thing, people will not say nice things to you if you constantly argue with them. Another, the more you negatively talk to yourself, the more likely you will believe it…and other people will believe it too. Self-fulfilling prophecies are very real. We create our reality, my friends.

Me thinks that Ms. Kristen has had a little practice in a few of those suggestions. Do you see her telling Sean Penn to FUCK OFF because he’s incorrect in his assessment of her acting skills?? Uh. I think not.

When her colleagues and friends pay a compliment to Kristen, even if she doesn’t agree, she shuts her mouth. She doesn’t open the can of whoop-ass. Besides, her detractors and critics would pounce on her for being “ungrateful” if she did counter a compliment, and girlfriend does not have time to play those she-said/they-said games anymore.  So as a result of choosing to use her energy wisely, focusing on HER ASSETS, Stewie can transition from this (at the WTTR Press Premiere):

….to THIS…seamlessly, beautifully, the next morning (leaving Regis & Kelly early the next morning):

And she can confidently declare prideful, genuine, powerful statements like this:

“Unless you respect and like yourself, nobody else is going to”

Yes. That’s right. That’s what Kristen Jaymes Stewart told an interviewer this weekend during the WTTR press junket. She said she learned this lesson while playing the role of Mallory, a broken, but resilient girl. Perhaps  the character of Mallory has helped Kristen navigate away from internalizing the cruel,  alarming threats and criticisms from “fake fans” and Nonsensicals rampant these days. And perhaps Kristen is truly taking these moments of unrelenting scrutiny to OWN. WHAT. IS. HERS.  See how beautiful accepting the good can be?

Let’s chat about another Majestic Misfit who OWNS it, shall we?


I have been a fan of our FRR for at least a decade, maybe closer to two of ’em. For sure since he was a little guy, which means, since I was a little gal, since I’m only two years older than he is. I’ve wanted to highlight his Royal Rebelliousness for some time now, to applaud his transition from child actor to awkward (yesss) adolescent to the thoughtful, insanely talented revered indie actor that he is now. Much like our beloved Ambassador of Other, Kristen, JGL has been in front of cameras, since his age was a single digit (for the record, he was 6 when he debuted in Robert Redford’s A River Runs Through It). I feel like I had already known him for years by the time he appeared in  TV’s 3rd Rock From The Sun…ok, confession. I knew about him from his days in Disney’s Angels in the Outfield…anybody else? Any takers? Bueller? He shared leading role status in the beloved 10 Things I Hate About You alongside late, great Heath Ledger (to whom Joseph has some resemblance, no?), and he dazzled, danced, and endeared himself to us in one of my very favorites: 500 Days of Summer (what part of MUSICAL NUMBER don’t you just freaking LOVE??) Oh. And you may have caught him in  G.I.Joe as the nefarious Cobra Commander, but I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if you bolted straight up in your seat when you got an eyeful of Joe opposite Leo DiCaprio in this year’s Inception.

Born and raised in Los Angeles, California, Joe, as he prefers to be called, had early exposure to the pursuit of creativity and expression. His mother ran for U.S. Congress  for California as apart of the Peace And Freedom Party, and his father was a program guide editor for Pacifica Radio (KPFK–ahhhh I feel calmer just having typed out the name of that lovely station–I’m such a fan). Joe’s maternal grandfather is Michael Gordon, Hollywood director (think Doris and Rock in Pillow Talk).

After successfully navigating his adolescent years by attending public high school, avoiding fame, and appearing in a long-running and popular TV show 3rd Rock From The Sun, JGL decided to take a hiatus from acting and attend Columbia to study French, literature, and history. He has been quoted as knowing how fortunate he was to have had success and a job as child, which allotted freedom to pursue interests and education as an adult. He left Columbia after a few years of study to return to acting, and hellllooo provocative and proclamation! He participated in a series of projects such as Mysterious Skin (in which he played a gay prostitute) and Brick (as an adolescent running an underground drug ring) that had critics bestowing accolades and praise, calling him the “rising star” in acclaimed  and quality Indie films (Boston Herald), and “one of the hottest actors in the indie firmament” (New York Times).

Well, ok, I fell in love with the guy truly, when I saw his social media project/ stand against paparazzi: Pictures of Assholes <—Click for YouTube Link… Joe turned the camera on a couple of paparazzi and challenged them to seek awareness of how invasive and destructive paparazzi attention can be to one’s soul. Seriously. Swoon. Just goes to show that folks can be powerful and influential simply with words…and a willingness to talk.

A mirror can be a powerful intervention.

I wasn’t going to write about Joe today, because I just discovered that he is grieving the loss of his older brother David, a photographer, performance artist and definitive Other, who passed away earlier this month. Joseph collaborated with his brother often in projects, and Joseph cites David as an integral partnership and inspiration in the creation of HitRECord.org, his online collaborative production company . Following David’s death, Joe publicly asked artists, musicians, filmmakers and the world to celebrate his brother’s spirit with him. And well, you don’t have to ask me twice to honor a creative spirit.

Guitar player, singer, writer, collaborator, producer, dancer, intellectual, and a pursuer of Creative Expression and Challenge, Joseph Gordon-Levitt embodies the qualities for  Ambassador of Other, so beautifully, that, as with Kristen, I am struck speechless and greatly inspired. P.S. my crush on him increased exponentially after watching this: CLICK—>:::BAD ROMANCE:::


*Is not interested in success, nor power or money. Seeks good scripts and personal connection.

*Dislikes the concept of celebrity, and believes the “true” people deserving of accolades are astronauts and teachers.

*Quote: “The most valiant thing you can do as an artist is to inspire someone else to be creative”


Though she is our elected Other Queen, Kristen may not have always believed that she had royal characteristics. Some extremely impressive Hollywood personalities have much to say about Kristen’s strengths and majesty, just in case she isn’t sure. Over the course of a singular day obscenely gifted colleagues such as James Gandolfini, James Woods, Jake Scott and Melissa Leo praised Kristen’s formidable talents and even gave statements comparing Kristen’s unique and high skills to those of acting legends Meryl Streep…Marlon Brando…Robert DeNiro.

Director Jake Scott compared Kristen's burgeoning skills to those similar in Meryl Streep

Reviews about Kristen’ ability to act include clips and phrases such as:  “raw vulnerability” ,”fierceness” “heartbreaking emotion”, “incredible uniqueness”, and “the potential to be one of the greats, if not THE greatest of her generation”. Two years ago, if you would have Googled Kristen’s name, you’d see her impressive resume, and the stunning list of legendary co-stars she’s worked with, and you might read that she’s disciplined, focused and even “brilliant”. Two years ago you may have also read that KStew was notoriously shy, awkward and uncertain in interviews and at press junkets. That she would bumble through interviews and project an aloof stance that unsettled journalists. Today, Kristen is sought after by high-calibre, legendary  film-makers as well as couture fashion designers; her name is being thrown around in major awards buzz, and she is landing on nearly every Best Dressed list published. She has a growing bevy of former-co-stars’ admiration and devotion, including James Gandolfini and Melissa Leo; Jodie Foster and Sean Penn, and the list goes on….

Thank you, @tiybor!


*Is not interested in fame, nor power, or money. Seeks only the connection of humanity within the character.

*Is able to define and accept her strengths and challenges, on her own, and modestly.

* Quote: “Unless you respect and like yourself, nobody else is going to”

Because he approached paparazzi on the street and held up his own video camera (mirror) to patiently dialogue with them about intrusion of privacy and the price of celebrity, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is not only my hero, he is also a Rebellious Royal.

Because she is able to define, accept and constructively use the feedback about her strengths and challenges, all while in outrageously sexy dresses and heels, Kristen Stewart is our Reigning Other Queen.





QUESTION: What were your talents as an 8-year-old? Do you use these assets today? If so: How? If not: Why do you think that is?

LONG A/N: **Big thank you to Emma from  @TeamKristenSite for the rec a long time ago for The Curse of the Good Girl. We had quite the book exchange didn’t we?

** Ever since I’ve moved over to WP, I have been writing Musings and publishing without pre-reading nor beta-ing. You’ve all been very kind in overlooking my silly typos and grammatical faux pas. I’m trying to break out of the habit of writing Musings the moments before publishing, and it’s been unsuccessful. The procrastination, unfortunately, is enabling me. Nonetheless, please give a warm shoutout to Buff_82 who designed the Pretty and the Banner for Musings, and ensures that the playlist I create each week is up and running on the site. So thank Buff for The Pretty and The Music.

**I may not publish next week, or if I do, it may not be Thursday. I am heading out of town for a psychology conference, and am planning Birthday Festivities with my beloveds. Basically that means, because of the nature of those plans, I don’t know if I will be here nor there. In this country? Probably. But I cannot guarantee. *giggles*

**WINNERS of The Kathryn LeGrice Originals Giveaway, I hope to get your prints in the mail by this weekend. I’m so pleased that they’re traveling literally around the world…Spreading the Other Love!!

**As usual, I do not mean to diminish the great importance and awe I feel in repeating/emphasizing this: Your letters, tweets and comments completely blow my mind and make my life. Thank you so much. I have responded to all of last week’s comments, and am working through the emails too. But I assure you, I have received your words and I HEAR YOU. I DIG YOU. KEEP ON, YOU GUYS. You’re making an incredible difference out there by pursuing your bliss, embracing your Otherness, opening up to synchronicity, supporting Kristen and Rob!! You are perhaps sparking a Movement-A REBELLION….KEEP GOING!!!

**My Cyber Sisters/Readers: You rock me. I am honored to be in the company of such brilliant, funny, talented women. We’re about to hit an anniversary here soon…CHEERS!

All my love, and see you soon. xo, KJ

A Musical Love Letter

6 Oct

Just a Muselet here, lovelies. Tomorrow I’ll post my regular Musings,  featuring a new Royal Rebel and our usual love for KStew and her Misfit partners in crime… Today I’m happy to announce the winners of the Musings On Other Soundtrack Giveaway, aka: KJ’s Old-School-Love-Letter-poured-into-a-mixed-tape-but-on-a-CD-to-Others. I always enjoyed writing and receiving a good letter. It started when I was in fifth grade, and I took a week-long trip to Washington D.C. with some classmates, and I met new friends who lived in exotic places like…Florida…and Colorado. To have a long-distance penpal when ten or eleven years old, having met them while traveling abroad, seemed pretty damn cool, in my opinion.

Letter writing became my all-consuming world when I was in seventh grade. I knew how to fold the 8 1/2 by 11 inch squared paper into a heart, a circle, an envelope, and perhaps, when computer class became too boring, a swan. And do you know what these little “letters” (notes) would say? Something like this:

Dear M,

Hey honey! I’m in Mrs K’s class, English. I’m so bored. Did you see Joe today? Oh my god, he is soooo fine. Do you think he still likes Kelly?


Love Always, K

Clearly, not on par with Beethoven’s prose to his Immortal Beloved. But a definitive step higher than:



YES: ___

NO: ___

So here’s the delio: I love you guys. I love you so much I don’t have words, and that in itself is telling, because I always have words. I also love music, it’s an integral, essential part of my being, and it shapes Musings in a very personal way. If I we were still in junior high or high school, I’d write you all and pass you a swan-shaped note in which I checked the box that said YES, when asked if I love you. And, as was the case of my first love, Joe (see above, 7th grade Joe was beautiful), I’d exchange mixed tapes filled with music of light-FM love songs and R & B. And instead of stealthily passing the note while en route to History class under the pretense of fixing my hair scrunchies (YES, SCRUNCHIES, facepalm), I would implement today’s technology of Twitter, Skype, Email, Chat, Texting…where beautiful, devoted poetry has been reduced to:

I heart U, u hot biotch. Txt me. xx


Ok. While this is perfectly fine for every day interactions, and for moments where we are in between meetings and errands, and the eighteen jobs we have…This lackluster statement leads me to think: we have lost the ability to connect in a more meaningful way.

Let’s think about this a second: If you could write Kristen Stewart, our Reigning Other Queen, which medium would you use, what words would you use? How would you communicate your admiration for her? Would you put thought and time into composing a text message? Or would you perhaps like to speak a little bit about your propensity towards domesticity and baking…Kristen puts time into planning and creating meals and desserts for her loved ones, don’t you think she’d appreciate something a little more personal than a statement that could only fit amongst 140 characters a la Twatter?


If she doesn't inspire hand-written love sonnets...


So, let me send you my love letter to Others…Here are the winners of the first Musings On Other Giveaway, based on the comments left on last week’s first Musings’ essay from the new website (If you left more than one comment, I counted you once, and I only included commenters on the main Essay’s page)…

From Random. Org: The Integers

Generate  random integers (maximum 10,000).


Each integer should have a value between  and  (both inclusive; limits ±1,000,000,000)


Here are your random numbers:


HOORAY! To my lovelies: (16) Dano, (7) Buff82 (5) Nail, (10) Jessica (3) Medelia_Fi , you will be receiving the MusingsOnOther Soundtrack/My  Aural Love Letter to YOU in the mail as soon as we get in touch and I have a your contact information. CONGRATULATIONS!….As a Reminder, here are the Tracks:

1. Trouble–Ray LaMontagne

2. The Devil’s Tears–Angus & Julia Stone

3. Acid Tongue–Jenny Lewis

4. Crucify–Tori Amos

5. Hallelujah–Jeff Buckley

6. Soul to Squeeze–Red Hot Chili Peppers

7. Wake Up–Arcade Fire

8. Not Afraid–Eminem

9. Lying–Martina Topley-Bird

10. It’s a Fire–Portishead

11. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What A Wonderful World–Iz

12.  Never Tear Us Apart–INXS

13. Dig–Incubus

14. Wave of Mutilation–Pixies

15. The Shining–Badly Drawn Boy

16. Addicted to Love–Florence + The Machine

17. The 6th X: For Kelleen–Richard W feat. KJ on vocals

18. Joyful Girl –Ani DiFranco

Why am I doing this? Well, I realized that I miss the old-school way of expressing affection, with an old-fashioned letter written by hand. I miss the romantic sentiment behind homemade gifts, and the excitement of receiving envelopes or packages in the mail. So that is what I’m trying to resuscitate: the personal connection we as humans, have the privilege of exercising. Even now, as I pieced together the playlist for the Musings Soundtrack Love Letter, I could just post it up on PlayList.com for you all to peruse. But if I did that, I wouldn’t get to send you the CD, in the mail, and write you a little card in my own hand. You wouldn’t have the pleasure of receiving a small parcel in your mailbox. I wouldn’t be able to tell you that every single song on the play list was featured in a Musings essay past, and contained a specific message: Love, empowerment, encouragement, gratitude, solace, grief, joy, affection, inspiration…


How do I love thee, let me count the ways


So I’ll see you tomorrow for our regularly scheduled Musings. We’re talking Creative Living, Following Bliss, The Social Network, and the resurfacing of Kristen and Rob, three nights (going for 4?) in a row…Last night, they took in a show by one of our Featured Rebel Royals, Jenny Lewis. SWEETNESS.

And let’s take a moment to gaze at the gloriousness that is the Official Welcome to the Rileys Movie Poster, shall we? *Stares, hypnotized* Ok. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, my dears. Much Love, KJ.

P.S. WINNERS, make sure you send me your contact info! P.P.S: I will most likely be creating a Volume 2 of the Soundtrack. There is just so much good music out there by Others and for Others.



And in The End, the love you take…

26 Aug
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself

So, I’m writing this having no idea how long it will be, or how much I will say. I’ve started writing this while in my current city of residence, but am finishing it up right now in my hometown…I’m here for yet another childhood bestie’s wedding and a few other  family celebrations. I’ll be spending some time with a couple gals of the KSIBTU Crew, and a couple of my Sisters and Readers as well. This week has been a tremendously challenging one for different reasons. For starters, I am in the final days before launching my “magical little practice,  making the leap of faith and taking a risk based solely on the rightness of a feeling. I am following my pathway to bliss, a pathway opened up quite unexpectedly, through my writing of Musings and enjoying my place in the Kristen Stewart Fandom. Have any of you started your own business before? I’m positive some of you readers have because, I may be biased, but I happen to think the readers of Musings are the most intelligent, thoughtful, funny and creatively rebellious lot among the fandom. You’re Kristen Stewart fans! Of course you’ve gone and built something from the ground up, and probably with your bare hands…and while blindfolded! Like McGyver, you just need a tiny clothespin spring and some chewing gum and you’ve made a time machine or some shit. Seriously, you guys are that brilliant. Anyway…I’m appealing to you entrepreneurs, rabble rousers and pioneers when I say: I’m quaking in nervous excitement, but I’m still pushing onward.

Another reason why this week proved interesting is that Kristen has again immersed herself in work, this time, the filming locale being the beautiful Argentina, and there have been no public sightings of her. Well, there were the Argentinean airport sightings, announcing her arrival with her On the Road costars Garret and Sam…and some pretty happy airline employees.

I know, man.
You totally fanboy’ed after she walked away.

Another difficulty (a fly in the chardonnay) surfaced this week, one we’ve addressed before, but quite honestly, we shall continue to revisit…It’s what we do here on Team Other…we  address and attempt to deconstruct reasons for Other-Hunting and Other-bashing. Specifically in this case: The absolute bleakness and misery poured into tearing our Other Queen Kristen down. And Homie Don’t Play That.


Call and Response

We could not possibly understand the scrutiny that Kristen and Rob or Kristen and her family are under. Not unless we are Kristen and her beloveds. I at least, will be the first to inform you, that unfortunately I am not Ms Kristen Jaymes Stewart. The majority of us have only had a glimpse (what, a four minute  interview on an “entertainment news” show at the most?) into who Kristen may be when she’s not playing a character. Perhaps some of us have made it to the barricades at one of her movie premieres, received her autograph, or had a picture taken with her, but we do not know her.

So when I see commenters posting on public boards pertaining to Kristen and/or Rob, making statements reflecting Kristen and Rob’s preferences or moods; or regarding how Kristen and Rob will act or should act, I get extremely frustrated. I skimmed over a blogger’s  (who shall remain anonymous) thoughts today in an article written  in which she calls Kristen “miserable”, “spoiled and bratty” and acting “bipolar”.


I don’t even want to give anymore energy to this ridiculousness. It appears, wonderfully, enough, for every maliciously-intended thought injected into the world, there are three times as many positive, loving responses to counter it. Check some of the delightful ripostes lobbed back from the always lovely RoseSee, the refreshingly intelligent Opytaylor and the witty folks over at LetterstoRK.


I will add this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion, absolutely. Everyone has the right to like or dislike whatever/whomever they want, that is not the disputed issue. However, to publicly spout off baseless charges about Kristen Stewart, a 20-year-old girl with whom this anonymous, female blogger has no personal relationship, but to also make mood disorder diagnoses (an incorrect one at that) is obscenely uninformed and irresponsible. I get to comment on this piece of the article, because guess what?? It so happens that I am a mood disorder diagnostician, and that blogger had no clinical grounds upon which to base her charges. And until she produces a license to practice psychotherapy to back up her “observations” she tries pass off as truth, or, evidence indicating that the writer personally is an expert on Bipolar Disorder, then I easily dismiss this “article” and toss it on the pile with every other vile, inaccurate, sensationalizing “entertainment” article produced. *dusts hands*
I also am a bit puzzled at some of the hypocrisy of Kristen and Roberts’ “supporters” that becomes apparent, “quiet”, NinjaStew time periods…like now. What part of “privacy” is hard to understand? What part of “I’m not going to talk about my personal life” does not make sense? How does being recognizable equate to Kristen and Rob deserving the scrutiny and invasion of their personal solitude (as some Assclowns and Bullshit People have reasoned)? Kristen has repeatedly and consistently informed interviewers that she will not divulge information about her private life. Anyone who is close to Kristen and Rob do not share discretionary information. The ones that do, perhaps aren’t exactly “close” are they? Not if they blatantly disregard Kristen’s or Rob’s express wishes. People claiming to be “insiders” aren’t really all that “insider-y” if they make public statements on public discussion boards and twitter timelines, in my opinion. And “friends” of Kristen and Rob, who know how valuable freedom from interference is to the pair, certainly would never draw more attention to themselves.

I am not at all surprised that Kristen and Rob are aware of what is being said about them. Rob has referred to the internet “journalists” as “little nerds, behind their little computers, on their little blogs”.  These “little nerds” throw out defamations, or start petty rumors, purport in-fighting and spread damage without assuming any responsibility.
This is what I want to address. The process of being accountable in what you put out there into the world, into this fandom. In previous Musings we’ve discussed looking in the mirror, the very real concept of coexistence; also, The Golden Rule, and even karma. In light of what we saw with an un-famous anonymous writer presenting an article filled with insults and disproportionate double standards and contradictions not only in her own writing, but in her worship of only one half of the Rob-and-Kristen partnership, there will be a counter response three, four or five-fold (or more). That’s another reason to love the KStew and Rob supporters out there. The Other Brigade is composed of fiercely loyal, soulful, passionate players. It is beautiful to witness. Do you know who leads the charge in defending Kristen? That would be the “deliciously handsome” Robert.

Rob says: I heart Kristen. Hard.

And because I can, I’m putting another Rob picture up …and GOOD GAH, MAN! This is an outtake from AnOTHER Man…How perfect is that title?


So who do you suppose is Robert’s Number One Defender?  Oh that’s right. . .

Y’all best back up.
She’s already sinking into a Crouching Tiger-
NinjaStew Stance

Do not think for one minute that a singular attack on one of them does not effect the other. As evident in bonded relationships, if one partner is assailed, the other one is also adversely effected. Defense mechanisms crop up and evolutionary instincts kick in. Rob will and has consistently kept Kristen’s emotional and physical well-being among the forefront of his priorities; Kristen will and has consistently encouraged Rob’s confidence in self-preservation, self-presentation and in decision-making. Realize how intertwined they are. That’s why not only is this a Kristen-supporting forum, but it’s a support of all Others and of essential, integral members in Kristen’s life, including Robert.

Lastly, before I move on to highlight the Royal Rebels this week, I wanted to share with you an experience that involves you and highlights the idea of accountability, call and response, counterbalancing any obstacles with optimism and support. Last Thursday, while I was writing Musings, I encountered two pieces of news that rocked my world. Without going into great  detail, I can tell you that there was a challenge to my union with my sweet husband N, at the same time that I learned my very tentative financial situation had simply been obliterated, due to circumstances outside of my control. I was slammed twice with these two extremely important situations in the middle of Publishing Day. I fell apart. I staved off panic, though  barely. I paced. I muttered. Though, for once, in that moment, I did not cry, which tends to be my default emotion.

What did I do? I turned to my Cyber Sisters, my KSIBTU Crew, my 3D besties. I used my words, sent out a brief email asking for a moment of their time so I can vent, cry and brainstorm a plan of action. And because the blessings that Kristen Stewart brought me manifested in the forms of real life people who have become sisters, friends, confidantes, readers who give honest feedback, messengers of support and light…they responded to my call. Again, for every obstacle or challenge thrown out there, a positive, encouraging counterbalancing force will also emerge. Yin and Yang. I instantly began receiving emails, IMs, texts and tweets from people all over the world. My Possum Besties Ophelia and Justice spearheaded the efforts to send love and encouragement my way my reminding me about self-care and slowing my roll, and the beautiful, brilliant ProRobsten organized a sort of fundraiser in order to support this Other Queen in Training, to keep me from being evicted and  to keep the private practice’s opening day for September 1. They wanted me to know they encouraged my efforts to blissfully dance in the bubbles, and help me shoulder some of the costs involved in opening the “Magical Little Practice”. And they didn’t want me to step back from writing Musings, which I would have, in order to try and make ends meet.
Without even knowing it, @P_lever had sent me this picture in honor of Other and as a reminder to persevere… just a couple days before I was hit double-time by emotional and financial tornados. And the brilliant and beautiful @kate_suena sent me a care package, really, the mother of all care packages, not even knowing how impeccable her timing was:

chocolates, maple candies, KSIBTU Crew artwork,

My Cyber Sisters and Readers sent DMs, emails and cards which began arriving (are still arriving) within the next day, which included paypal funds, personal checks and words of encouragement and strength…and love. Reminders of why I needed to move forward. Some of the messages sent read something like this…and excuse me a moment while I sniffle…

Because Others and Misfits in your city need your guidance towards empowerment…”

“Because you are helping me embrace my Other and teach my daughter to embrace hers…”

“Because it would devastate people if you stopped writing Musings…

“Because Kristen and Rob need their allies in fighting the good fight…”

You can see what my favorite thing about receiving mail has been, right? Not the monetary piece (although that is so nice, and I won’t have to resort to prostitution now, thank the Goddess). I am overwhelmed with gratitude and disbelief. But stunned into movement, because I have been kicking ass and taking names starting with the government office who forgot to pay me in the first place. I’ve been able to spend some time with N this week, going to the movies, laughing, re-enacting The Nuzzle  (which I think will be my Rapper name)… Things are improving.  I am able to still put together pieces and address the tension with N while also following the blissful, Creative Life… It’s what is issued forth that is returned…sometimes ten-fold. Seek to counterbalance the hatred out there. Seek to truly see that when Kristen is happy, Rob is happy. Or if you’re more concerned about his happiness, know that he is truly content when his partner Kristen is as well. Please don’t tear her down anymore. Don’t destroy role models for Awkwardness, Rebelliousness, Otherness…they’re  so rare these days.

Featured Royal Rebel: Heath Ledger

Oh. My. I personally believe this man is an angel. His warm, glowing spirit seemed to emanate from his pores. It was impossible not to stare at him when he was on screen. If I had seen him on the street, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see him floating. Heath Ledger shares many of the qualities of Otherness that Kristen does: painful shyness, an over-analytical mind, impossible dedication to learning the undercurrent of a character’s consciousness; nervousness, a seeker of “home, ” a seeker of answers.
Born in Perth, Australia, Heath was born to a teacher mother and a race-car driver father. He was always insatiably curious: he was a chess champion and starring in school plays at age 10, and he graduated from high school by the time he was 16. He decided he wanted to become an actor at that time and pursued roles in Australian television shows, landing his first role in Sweat in which he portrayed a gay cyclist; and Ship to Shore. I first laid eyes on him in the 1999 Movie “10 Things I Hate About You” and I was intrigued with his obvious tender heart, and of course that ridiculously sexy Australian accent.

After several notable roles in movies such as The Patriot, Monster’s Ball, Lords of Dogtown and A Knight’s Tale, it was the heartbreakingly poetic role of Ennis in the film Brokeback Mountain that elevated Heath’s already-acclaimed acting abilities to a completely new level of the craft. Legendary actors such as Sean Penn and Daniel Day-Lewis bestowed praise on Heath’s performance, and the role garnered him two acting awards including the New York Film Critics Circle award. Later, he would win the Academy Award posthumously for the most renowned role of his career, as The Joker in The Dark Knight. He was only 28 when he died from a “toxic-combination of prescription medications”. We were the same age. While he is remembered for his sweet spirit and his unparalleled acting abilities still with undeveloped potential, he was also known for his personal quirks and behaviors. He had a very tentative relationship with Australian paparazzi, and when he became a father in 2005, Heath was extremely cautious and weary of journalists who would venture too close to his daughter and his fiancee actress Michelle Williams. He admittedly struggled with anxiety while on stage, which often would manifest in giggles (and he would be bashed and criticized for it)  and would often delve so deeply into research of his character, that he struggled for years with insomnia. He was unable to “stop thinking…I couldn’t stop my mind from running”, he reported. At his untimely death, Heath’s performance in the Dark Knight earned him popular and critical accolades from esteemed colleagues and critics. He was referred to as “one of the very best actors of his generation”.

Offenses of Otherness:
Analytical mind hindering the ability to verbalize feelings

Willingly “looks into the abyss” of the darkness in roles

Unwaveringly dedicated to the protection of his private life

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart



Our Other Queen has been very busy in Montreal and now Argentina in her work for  Francis Ford Coppola’s film adaptation of On the Road. Director Walter Salles has revealed that the first portion of filming has wrapped to his satisfaction, due in large part to the ‘excellent cast’ who shares a passion and drive to make the movie. Early reviewers of the updated script and screenplay have claimed that not only is it “wise” to have Kristen cast in the role as the precocious, sexual, free-spirited nymph Marylou, but that in addition to the script,  she is one of the exceedingly “talented actors” to excitedly anticipate in this film.


While she is away filming On the Road, Eclipse is still earning box office millions, location scouts are surveying potential filming locales for Breaking Dawn, and Kristen’s name is attached to at least two other film projects in the works after Breaking Dawn wraps, projected March 2011. Despite her critics and the Other-Hunters constantly circling Our Queen, she still manages to appear poised, unruffled and genuine. She was named The Queen of Awkward by DailyMotion (Fist-Pump in celebration for this honor, KStew!) this week with flattering commentaries by comedians and journalists completely stunned by the good fortune of having someone “so beautiful and so awkward” combined in one girl. Queen of Awkward Video HERE. This clip features one of my favorite Queen Kstew Moments: The dropping-and-breaking of the MTV Movie Award on stage…

drop it like it’s hot, baby girl

And if I hadn’t been already, I would have fallen in love here.
With this Awkward Lovely

Offenses of Otherness:
Analytical mind hinders her ability to express what she means

Willingly “looks into the abyss” in the characters she plays

Unrelenting dedication to the protection of her private life

…Is equal to the love you make

Because I realized that being vulnerable in my dark times, brought to me light, strength and comfort beyond what I have ever known, I am still an Other Queen-in-Training.

Because Heath would giggle when he became nervous and  inaccurately express his feelings in interviews due to his over-analytical mind, he will always be remembered as a Royal Rebel.

Because she is happy being an uncovah lovah, and is crowned Queen of Awkward while she isn’t even on the same continent as her electors, Kristen is our Reigning Other Queen.


Heath will always be Other.
Kristen is Other.
Others answer the call for balance
with light, encouragement and optimism.
Embrace your Other.  

Question: Are you aware of the intentions you put out into the world?

A/N: Totally UnBeta’d guys, as if you didn’t see that already. Bear with me as you stumble upon typos or duplicated words. I literally started this at 2AM this morning, wrote some more at 5AM before I hopped a plane down south. Finished it here in my childhood home, hours after I had hoped. Don’t blame my pre-readers Bouffant, Cynically Convy or Buff82 for any shittastic fuckery you see here, blame only MOI. Thanks to the usual suspects. Thanks to the most amazing friends and sisters and readers who reached out and gave some comfort and love when I was stumbling around broken. Mad love to Iris, Buff, CC, Crystal, Kate, Brenda, CWQ and Julie for sending me words of encouragement that brought me to tears. Special shout outs to Tebby, Ophelia2010, Justice_Aussie, and ProRobsten for organizing a “Save The Loopy Therapist” Campaign…words cannot convey. Thanks to KStewartFan for the lovely Kristen pictures, per usual, and to the aforementioned bloggers Rose, Dano/Opy and LetterstoRK as linked above, for answering the call for balance, with light and encouragement. Special thanks to my Practice’s business manager Puss who took a big hit for the team but emerged triumphant with me. Onward to Bliss…See you all Next Thursday. xo, KJ

A KStew absence makes the heart grow fonder

4 Aug

Yes I know. It stings a bit. There is an emptiness and an ache during these Kristen-less days. The last public sighting we have of Kristen is from the bowling alley and that quirky-cool man’s reference to Kristen as “that punky chick from Twilight“.Thank the Goddess for these newly released EW outtakes (outtake because there is just too much Pretty?)

and peeps say she doesn’t smile. pffft.

Also thank The Goddess again for the soothing (at least for me, anyway) knowledge that Kristen is not on the streets dodging Vulture-Papz because instead she’s safely ensconced and immersed in her current job: filming On the Road. I am so pleased to know that Kristen is submerged in a new role, and it’s just an added bonus that the role is of one of the fair and feisty Marylou in the Kerouac classic. Filming began on Monday in beautiful Montreal, and word on the street is that these first days dive into some of the grittiest moments between the threesome. While writing this essay, pretty UH-MAY-ZING casting news surfaced: Viggo Mortensen (um, YESSSS) and Amy Adams are joining the cast for On the Road! Talk about high calibre projects!! Kristen has been attached to filming OTR for a couple years now, and I can only imagine how excited and thrilled she is with the way this film is shaping up. I personally feel this film has the makings of legend, much like the book on which it is based. Ok..but anyhoo, we know what Kristen is doing, and it is so much greater than anything I can claim to have done. But with Kristen out of the spotlight, and Rob waving goodbye to the WFE set yesterday, what can we Muse about, lovelies? mmm. lemmmeee think…lemme think….

Helllooo, Garrett. Road tripping with you will NOT be a problem.

Return of the King indeed, Mr Mortensen

Idle hands make…

Well, some folks have certainly found new topics to muse about…In these brief moments where Kristen has been out of the limelight, bewildering events have occurred amongst the fandom. The Not-A-Fans and the Disturbingly Focused folks managed to assist in the creation then subsequent spreading of false stories about Kristen, and Kristen herself is not available to clarify. Plus, absence leaves lots of room for elaboration by the especially creative storytellers. Sadly, those are the tamer actions of the idle and the bored. The most distressing actions I’ve witnessed above all, happened within these past two days.


Some “fans” were quite busy offering distractions in the form of petty tweet-wars; libelous, vile photo manipulations; side-choosing in arguments that they created regarding whether they know more private information about Kristen and Rob than other people. This same information that Kristen and Rob themselves have worked so excruciatingly hard to keep private.  






I won’t spend more than a moment thinking too hard about it all, because I have more fulfilling Musings to entertain, but out of a mental health professional’s curiosity, I ask:


People who refer to themselves as “fans”, but whom are also engaged in this harmful, hurtful behavior towards both Kristen and Rob and their supporters:











Are you unhappy?

Is it anxiety, boredom, or a shattered spirit? Needing a power boost? Do you simply stir the pot while your favorite target is indisposed, because you need something to do?







The arrows will only go away…
When I cause trouble with KStew and Rob fans.
The arrows will only go away….
If I draw their chaos elsewhere…


Dr Glenn R Shiraldi is an author, Pentagon faculty member and university professor, with an expertise in stress management and self esteem. It is from his work The Self Esteem Workbook from which I draw some of my thoughts about the harmful self-proclaimed “fans”. Per Dr Shiraldi and Coopersmith, People with efficient self-esteem tend to be healthier, friendlier, more expressive, more active, more self-trusting, trusting of others, and holding little to NO hostility. Makes sense. Essentially, the more assured and grounded one is in her own decisions and beliefs, the less likely she is to harbor distrust and hostility. So could this be a key contributing factor to the hate and need for destruction that some of these Vultures, Not-a-Fans and BullShit People feel towards a young woman and a young man who just happen to be public figures? A great absence of security and conviction in self? Perhaps. In my years of providing therapy as well as receiving it, I did learn one significant concept:


It is impossible to obtain true inner strength and confidence when one is searching outside the self for it. Moreover, it’s a disservice to everyone when malicious intentions are injected into the Great Wide Open. Why tempt the Omnipresent Consequence??


Uh, Me? Meet Confidence.


Basically it means all the energy poured into role-playing MEAN GIRLS by creating high school hierarchies within this supposedly “supportive” community, detracts from the energy in supporting betterment of humanity and oneself… It also detracts from enjoying the gifts of a precocious woman and a soulful man that are the most unique, intelligent and atypical talents we’ve had the pleasure of observing in many, many years. Which is truly too bad.






I’m done giving any more of today’s Musings to the contemplation of motivation behind unprovoked attacks on our Royal Rebels. I transition out of this convo by saying: Dear idle, bored, and anxious folks out there, let us please commence with remembering why Kristen is our Other Queen, and celebrate all her Offenses of Otherness that are blueprints for accessing our own Majestic Misfit-ness.


Kristen looks in a mirror every single day.
Do you?

The Beauty that Kristen brings

So I say, as I have from day one, instead of focusing on any absence or perceived shortcoming of our Reigning Other Queen, let’s focus on the beauty and goodness that has enhanced our lives as a result of being a Kristen Stewart supporter. My world Pre-KStew Discovery was lovely, entertaining and exciting, sure. But my world Post-KStew Discovery is just more. In the past two years that I’ve been on the Twilight and Team Kristen rollercoaster, I have been infinitely blessed. As I wrote last week, my appreciation of Rob and Kristen ultimately brought me to the creation of Musings, therefore, you Beatific Rabble Rousers.

Since discovering and becoming a supporter of Kristen Jaymes Stewart, I have met the nicest, kindest most passionate people from all corners of the world. I mean, I’m a traveler, and have been to a few pretty exotic places, but it wasn’t until joining Team Kristen and Team Other, that I’ve truly met the most gifted and beautiful people in the world. I speak on a daily basis with some of my Cyber Sisters and Readers, more than I speak to my own family, outside of my husband. I read FAN FICTION! The glorious, smutty, brilliant creations of daydream believers and warrior poets. I exchange late-night texts and tweets with my fellow fiction addicts while we sob into the last tissues in the house, and nibble on Toblerone chocolate while discussing the virtues and complications of Mob Life.

Dear: EP, I don’t know how, I don’t know when it became so.
But you OWN me. That is all.
Love, Me.

Since creating and Musings and spearheading the campaign to defend my fellow Others like you, Kristen, Rob, and this week’s featured Rebel, Ryan Gosling, I see brilliant moments of “Other” everywhere. Opportunities to take the atypical path, make an unconventional decision, take a chance on idea I wouldn’t always. When I was out to dinner one night with Kathryn, My Welsh beauty and “Manager”, our waitress put her two hands behind her back and said to us, “Pick one. Odd? Or Even?”
Can you guess which one I picked? The waitress handed me some lovely candy and my silver setting for the evening. And we ended up having an soulful conversation about pursuing the art of Creative Living. But you know what? When given the choice, I will always, always, choose “ODD”.

Odd has never looked sooo sooo right.

I have almost daily, conversations with soul mates and kindreds. This was a conversation that Cynically Convivial of KStew Is Better Than You I had a while back. It went something like this:

Me: I feel like I have so much to learn each day. Each day brings me something new. I love it.

CC: I love to learn. I love words. I love books. My dad always tells us that if you didn’t learn ONE thing by the end of the day then you’ve failed as a citizen of the world.

Me: Oh I love that. I move through each day with a similar guiding energy.

CC: One of my dad’s favorite quotes, by W. Markiewicz is: “Its better to be an authentic loser than a false success, and to die alive than to die dead.” It’s how I became obsessed with the phrase “Own It”. I know what my flaws are. I know everything that’s wrong with me, and I own it.

Me: Much like our girl Kristen. You, my lovely, are a Rebel Queen as well.

CC: Kristen appreciates authenticity and different-ness. I appreciate her unwillingness to concede.

Then I write stuff like this in the sand in Kauai.

Let’s continue to build our Rebel Army, as we began a couple months ago with the first-ever Musings, shall we?

Featured Royal Rebel: Ryan Gosling

This soulful, soft-spoken, unassuming man was born and raised in London, Ontario, Canada. Having no formal performance training, Ryan found himself snagging the spot in The New Mickey Mouse Club alongside fellow Mouseketeers Justin Timberlake, Keri Russell, and Christina Aguilera. Okay, maybe you don’t recognize him from his awe-inspiring singing and dancing with the MMC (or maybe you do?), but you probably do recognize him here:

He garnered critical acclaim for his work in films such as Murder By Numbers (a role in which he played a teen aged murderer) and The Believer in which he played a Jewish Neo-Nazi before he landed the role as Noah in his most mainstream movie to date, The Notebook. His propensity for choosing unusual, broken and imperfect (Other) characters in smaller independent films before choosing to work in a well-known film is a very similar trajectory as our Reigning Other Queen Kristen. According to Internet Movie Database, Ryan was a victim of teasing and bullying when in grammar school, and was relegated to home schooling until he was 16 years old and his family moved to Los Angeles, CA. In California, his high school nickname, appropriately so, was: “Trouble”. He dropped out of high school at age 17, and went to New Zealand to work on the TV show Young Hercules.

A gifted guitarist and singer in his band Dead Man’s Bones, Ryan has quietly but steadily gained admirers in colleagues and industry critics alike. Our own Poet Warrior Rob Pattinson includes himself among Ryan’s fans. He was nominated for an Academy Award and became the recipient of the Independent Spirit Award for his work in Half-Nelson, in which he played a heroin-addicted high school teacher. He received critical and public praise for his role as Lars in my personal favorite Gosling film: Lars and the Real Girl, in which he portrays a socially awkward and painfully shy man who claims a blow up doll as his girlfriend. He is compelling and gently surprising in his contrasting roles: a self-proclaimed traveler and lover of solitude. He is both the advocate for freedom of Darfur refugees under the reign of a murderous army; and, a partner in a Beverly Hills restaurant serving Moroccan food. He walks the line of appearing in small independent Indie films as well as big-budgeted Hollywood productions. In a move I find magical, he chose at one point to live alone in a south central Los Angeles apartment because he felt “closest to real people” there, and because the Vulture-Papz would not seek him out.

Offenses of Otherness:

*Introspective and methodological
*Quiet and Press Shy
*Articulate and flinchingly honest
“Do something that you’re afraid of, at least once”

Our NinjaStew frequently tackles something she’s admittedly afraid of: Red Carpet events flanked by aggressive, insulting paparazzi.

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

Our reigning Ambassador of Other has a drive and dedication that is both bewildering and impressive. Her colleagues and past cohorts have expressed concern for Kristen’s health, as she completely embodies the characters she portrays. Because she “cannot project feelings she herself does not possess”, New Moon director Chris Weitz says, “I have found myself concerned for her at moments”. She quite infamously carries a spot-on “bullshit detector” and can identify false friends and inauthentic souls immediately. This translates into her ability to run through scenes with several pages of dialogue, and finding the one moment in which it rings untrue. Catherine Hardwicke, Twilight director laughs, “There was quite a bit of rewriting on set. Kristen will not say any dialogue that she cannot respect”.

Offenses of Otherness:

*Self Assured and confident in self
*Refuses to downplay her intelligence
*Only accepts projects she wholly believes in
“Nobody cares more than I do”

Offensive Together

Instead of letting fissures and fractures deter or define our community, I say we choose “odd” and seek reminder of all the common characteristics we actually share with our Rebel Royals, our Hellcat Misfits. Because I observed and then wrote about, to finally internalize so many of Kristen’s “Beauty Marks” and “Offenses of Otherness”, there is no way in hell I’m going to discard the valuable lessons now. Kristen and Rob, and Ryan, all our Ambassadors are moving forward, living their own lives, embracing and representing Other. We should be doing the same. And with all the blessings that supporting Team Other has brought me, why would I ever dwell on any negativities? Its ALL good here.

Because I will always choose the unconventional path, and feel compelled towards “Odd”, I am a Royal Rebel.
Because he gracefully and consistently embodies several contradicting roles, Ryan is an Ambassador of Other.
Because she will never speak a word–whether in-role or in every day life–that does NOT resonate with her personal truth, Kristen is our Reigning Other Queen.

I am Other.

Ryan is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others will not search outside themselves,

for confidence that resides within.

Embrace your Other.

Question: How has being on Team Kristen blessed you?

A/N: How is GrooveShark working out for you, my lovelies? If the music is important to you, and you’re struggling with the mechanics of the widget, let me know, ok? Just like you let me know when the comment sections fucking up the flow.

Birthday wishes to my girls: @Randommama who was not feeling well AT. ALL for weeks, and she couldn’t really celebrate her own day. Happy Birthday, my Sister. To Iris: @Just2CUSmile and Amy @EvaLola80, I love you girls and even though we’ve distance between us, you are close always. Happy Birthday.

To my CyberSisters/Readers: You give me energy, inspiration, passion and guidance, and this is just when talking about FOOD! Your support of Musings and Team Other transcends and you school me every day in daily blessings.

Julie, my constant. You KNOW. My Possum Besties, you inspire. ClogWieldingQueen, you honor me.
Buff_82. You bring so much pretty. I need your address. Seriously. Bellasmummy86, kisses and gropes. Kindred. And to my soul sisters, and reasons for me to be BETTER: Bouffant and CynicallyConvy, NONE of this is possible without you. I wouldn’t even know how to begin if you weren’t holding my hands.

The Beginnings of Beauty

29 Jul

A/N: Push Play on the GrooveShark Playlist, the music doesn’t start automatically with these dudes. Gonna try them out since Playlist has been leading me to pull out my hair. All Hawaii Scenic pics are taken by my uber talented hubs N.

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I’m going to be frank. This is gonna be a long-assed post. Take your stretch breaks, use the restroom, hopefully you packed some munchies (or a cooler of meat patties, if you’re Taylor). I have copious amounts of Musings I want to talk about today, and I’m admittedly overwhelmed. I didn’t sit down to write this post until late last night, when instead I should have been finishing it and handing it over to my brilliant previewers. I tossed around the idea of making this a two-parter. I still may do that. Also, today’s essay will probs deviate a bit from it’s typical structure. But nonconformity is what we Misfit Hellions swear by, right? Ah, well, anyhoo, a couple events occurred this week, prompting my already full head to become inundated with topics to address. Firstly, I returned from Kauai, aka my little slice of Heaven, while still battling a sinus/cold from hell. Then I peek into my emails and glance at my tweets briefly, to learn that one of our beloved Royal Rebels attempted to go home for some rest and self care, but his efforts were thwarted by vulture-paparazzi. Its disturbing anytime to witness the Vultures circling prey; however, it was especially jarring to process the scene as I was emerging from my peaceful island sanctuary. I felt my stomach drop to my toes and I felt such sadness on behalf of Rob and Kristen and all folks who contend with the incessant hounding by exploitive, merciless papz. Between Kauai, Rob’s stand against the paparazzi and my return to the Mainland to begin preparations for the launch of my “magical little practice” at The Healing Center, I felt compelled to think back to The Beginning…

Rob: KJ, could you PLEASE ask the vultures to kindly
leave me be?
Me: Oh, Rob, I’ll do anything you ask…
As soon as I regain consciousness.
Rob: *glances at the KJ pile at his feet*
Well, let’s see if I can entertain those lurking Vultures…

Mirror, Mirror
Last week in my Muselet, I already knew what I’d write about for today’s Musings, mentioning that I would go back to The Beginning of Beauty as I have known it…and naturally my mind began to relive my journey of discovering the supreme legacy that is our Ambassador of Other Kristen Stewart…And the beginning of Musings On Other Queens. This week’s posting marks two months of Musings, somehow. You guys, I have been completely bowled over by the generously kind responses from YOU. I still cannot believe that you come back and peek into my weekly ramblings. And that you contact me to tell me your stories of embracing your Other! Even last week, when I was away slowing my roll, you all sent me descriptions of your Happy Places, and let me tell you, I love what you do to initiate self care, and I want to join you in your Happy Places! So since we’re marking the ridonk successful innaugural months of Musings, and I was in the place that began it all for me, I wanted to share with you all how Musings, outside of The Homecoming Queen Experience, was born. Hawaii serves as the catalyst for a more global understanding of Beauty for me. Let me tell you why…Well, besides the obvs…
I may have alluded to it once before, but I haven’t stated it outwardly before here on Musings. I am adopted. My biological makeup is comprised of Southeast Asian Islander, and Latino Islander, but my adoptive family is of Swiss and German descent. I have had the most loving, warm, accepting  upbringing possible, with the greatest family. I recognize how blessed I am, I truly do. But I can only say, as a child of multi-ethnic backgrounds, and/or adoption can: that there is always, always a floating, nebulous feeling of searching for more, a better fit, even when everything else is right in the world. So, after my first appalling (at least to me as a fourteen-yr old girl) experience of being called out for being The Other Homecoming Queen (revisit the very first Musings ever, all of eight weeks ago, to relive that crowning moment of Other Queen awakening) I finally began to understand the true gift of being Other when I removed myself from the usual surroundings, and ventured out, beyond my personal comfort zones.  

I was eighteen years old, a freshman in college and fashion was in the waning years of “grunge” and the emergence of “goth”. I hovered somewhere in between the two. In the meantime, I was a hostess at a restaurant that catered to clientele averaging in the age of 55, but the view was gorgeous of the ocean, and I crushed on fellow servers and bartenders, so I was groovy. I had successfully evaded having a boyfriend as well as that damned Homecoming Queen Nomination. My puffy hair was constantly toeing the line of being called TRIANGLE, and the CDs on rotation in my walkman (pre-iPod days, folks) were Tori Amos, Pearl Jam, Sublime, Pixies and The Beatles.  This Other Queen in Training with Geometric Hair, brownie skin tone, the propensity for knee socks, and flowing dresses joined three girlfriends on a Ladies Only Getaway to Hawaii. The gals accompanying me were my physical antitheses. These beauties had blonde streaked hair, light eyes, legs for days.  They were, in essence, The Classic California Girls.

trufax. they kinda looked like this.

And we were heading into a land that purported and enjoyed residual images like this in the 1950s: 

Legit. 1950’s Pin Up girl “representing” Hawaii

And here was…me…not so pale, of course, I AM Asian AND Hispanic, y’know…With an afro, kohl-lined eyes, and Marlboro Lights:


The trip WAS, and forever shall be deemed for me, The Birthplace of Beauty. Not only did I taste true independence and rental car driving for the first time, but I experienced a welcoming embrace and celebration of all the characteristics and quirks that I had kept on the DL. Please do not assume I am solely speaking of physical characteristics, even though they are obviously what I can use to describe the differences. As you know, we Others are Rebellious Mayhem-makers more for our internal propensities, than we are our outward appearances–though we can shock with our physical looks as well, NO DOUBT. But I’ll describe some of my own characteristics up for evaluation.  My puffy, curly hair, my rounded nose, my almond-shaped eyes, my penchants for walking barefoot, like ALWAYS, if I wasn’t in Chucks; my need to stand on the sand alone; my almost-dysfunctional love of rice and salt; my impulses to twirl in circles and run through patches of flowers? Yeah, it kinda all seemed like the way to roll when in the islands. In Oahu and Maui, I’d walk down a street that looked like this:
and luminous, Other-worldy people who looked like this–quite possibly without the ukeleles–
approached me, looked me in the eyes, whispered warm greetings in Hawaiian, and welcomed me HOME. I spoke last week of being an Island Girl by blood, this is why. Because while I may have been “odd”, “exotic”, “unusual and unconventional” back where I lived in Southern Cali, I apparently fit the Standard of Beauty in Hawaii. And it only laid the groundwork for future cultural research and spiritual soothing in which I would encounter several years later in my travels through Europe, and most importantly Southeast Asia, and my motherland, The Philippines. I understood, in those quiet moments of interaction with strangers in Hawaii, that there is not one, specified concept of Beauty. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of definitions of Beauty…But I’d fit at least ONE of them. And I would do what I could to support and defend every one of us, including Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson from Vultures and BullShit people trying to tell us otherwise. 

N & I, prepared to Defend our fellow Others.
Our matching Hawaiian bracelets look like superhero cuffs, don’t they?

Finding Twilight, You and Us:

Seeing a couple of pictures, and only hearing about (because I refused to watch the video) the conundrum the Vulture-papz caused for Rob this past weekend, I was transported Back to the Beginning of Musings. When had I become such a public KStew and RPattz supporter?! How did I somehow get clumped (incorrectly in some cases) with the millions of Twi-fans that were emerging from the woodworks? Where were you when you first fell under the Twilight Spell??


I was a fan of the Twilight books, one of those folks who had actually read the books first before Twilight the movie was released in theaters in 2008. I had been bed-ridden for six weeks in recovery from knee surgery and one of my cool hipster girlfriends came to have lunch with me. She had dark circles under her eyes and she was yawning. She told me in hushed tones, eyes darting around her, that she was up all night finishing a book…and she whispers “Twilight”. I didn’t laugh and point at her, though I did giggle conspiratorially with her, since I eyed the books every time I went into Borders (which if it were up to me, would be a daily requirement), but never picked up a copy. My beautiful, cool hipster friend’s endorsement of the books and my happening to have a lot of time on my hands convinced me I needed a little Twilight in my life. I knew a movie was coming out, and I knew Robert Pattinson was in it…Hello, Harry Potter Fan here, friends. I knew Cedric Diggory, and I recognized him instantly in a trailer I saw earlier in the year. Ok, well, I read the books, including Breaking Dawn in  about 5 days, and my insatiable thirst spilled over to the internet. Wanna know what I found, that forever changed everything??

Oh so young and unscathed then
Yesssss. The legend. The myth. The April 22, 2008 on-set Twilight interview with Larry Motha-effin Carroll on MTV. I knew instantly, not from my practice as a psychotherapist, not from any tabloid jabbering (though of course, that came in spades, later) that these two individuals, Robert and Kristen, were twin souls, and their chemistry was UH-MAY-ZING. So while I was a Twilight book reader first, I found myself observing the actors, their static electricity and resonating with them as people long after I had finished the text. More Googling led me to bios on Kristen Stewart (Hey, I DO remember that little girl from Panic Room!) and of course Rob…Pictures of the two of them like this:





um. Sorry, were you talking to us?


can’t hear yoooooou.



uh-huh. unf.


Naturally, I was led to the major gossip reporting sites who clearly were compelled in the same indescribable manner that I was, but I noticed the division pretty quickly. There were folks who really really really worshipped Rob…and greatly admired Kristen, and loved the idea that there was something more than friendship between the two. Then I saw sites dedicated passionately to the cause of tearing down these two, as a couple and as individuals. I was stunned. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t comprehend that people hated these young actors, and disproportionately KRISTEN, with the vile intensity of a thousand suns. I steered clear of those sites, and found a group of posters that regularly commented on and discussed the Twilight filming schedule, and Rob and Kristen as actors and perhaps “more than just best friends”. Fast forward two years later, and here I still am,  passionately defending these lovely people against not just slanderous attacks on the franchise of which they are apart, but for the personal characteristics that are of decidedly OTHER persuasion that they very clearly EMBRACE. And to the attackers, haters, vultures, BullShit People, Critics, Bat-shit Insane “Not-A-FANs” I say: HELL TO THE NAH. Because a public attack and hunting down of two OTHER REBELS is truly an affront and assault to ALL Hellcat Eccentrics. Maybe it’s my Island blood, in which your clan sticks together, or maybe it’s the psychologist in me trying to make sense out of unfounded, unrelenting HATRED, but I know this much: You attack my fellow Misfits, it’s GAME. ON. And I will use what tools i have to my disposal. For me, that means my words, my abilities to copy and paste pretty pictures, and my penchant for picking really really good music. *grins*. That, my lovelies, is the story of the inception of Musings on Other Queens.



Featured Royal Rebels


We’re gonna flow a bit different today for the featured Rebel section. We Other’s like to switch it up a bit, and I’ve already run long on my earlier stories…so let’s give a try, yes? I’m going to highlight Kristen, as always, but showcase her in the company of other Majestic Misfits of whom I hope to write more about in future Musings…It could be construed as, say, building an army of rabble rousers, folks who wave their Freak Flag high and proudly represent our brand of Rebellion…Oh and they’re glorious, my lovelies, just like the reigning Queen Other herself is.



Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart


Major Offenses of Otherness:


Unapologetically Authentic,


Truthful Public Speaking


Wears Chucks with designer dresses.


In. Public.


Kristen, in my opinion is a real-life representation of another Mayhem Minx



Other Queen, Iconic Literary Heroine:
Lisbeth Salander

Major Offenses of Otherness:


Disregards rules,


Unashamedly more intelligent than EVERY.ONE,


Defender of WOMEN’S and HUMAN rights


Lisbeth’s tenacity and cleverness are shared traits with a certain British Hellion:



Royal Rebel, Poet Warrior: Rob Pattinson
Major Offenses of Otherness:
Insistence in defending his private life,
Willingness to take risks in his craft,
Defender and Supporter of Other Queens and Rebel Royals

His willingness to tackle unconventional roles is reminiscent of the great Mythical Misfit:
Royal Rebel, Original Revolutionary:
Johnny Depp
Major Offense of Otherness:
Unapologetically Authentic,
Propensity towards eccentric, offbeat roles,
Defender and protector of his and his family’s private life

So thank you for journeying on this nostalgic road with me, my fellow Trailblazing Thinkers. I humbly bow before you for all for your unparalleled support and generosity as I  gather the troops for supporting not just Queen Stewie and Rebel Rob, but for all Others and misrepresented souls out in our world. I am so greatly moved that you would hold the space for me to divulge a few personal details in the name of deconstructing the alien, the unknown factor that often accompanies segregation, degradation and prejudice. But see, my entire hope in public Musings was to illuminate the fact that we are all Others, together. There really is no need for Vultures to circle in hopes of “catching” our Rebel Royals in compromising situations. Because I found one definition of beauty among hundreds, that I can comfortably call my own, I am an Other Queen. Because Rob, Lisbeth and Johnny refuse to compromise their authentic paths, and defend their rights to privacy, they are all Majestic Misfits. Because she delves consistently and passionately into her work, and because she is unapologetic for it, Kristen is our Reigning Other Queen.

I am Other.
Kristen is Other.
Others go back to their Beginnings,
grateful for present blessings.
Embrace Your Other.

Question: When did you realize you were really majestic in your misfit-ness?
When did you pay homage to your awkward beginnings?

A/N: My awesome and insanely gifted prereaders/betas are Buff_82, Cynically Convy and Bouffant. You ladies are my sexspenders on WFERob’s pants. You’re THAT valuable to me. Loves, Hugs, Tears and gropes as usual to my Cyber Sisters and Readers. Special shout outs to @P_lever; @Miss_Maroon @AriRebel3 @TakemetoBliss @JessWink22 for waiting so patiently for my response to your letters and awesome projects. Truth be told, I’m quite stunned by your words and plans, and I can’t gather coherency. Can you believe that shit? Me? Incoherent? bahaha. To my Possum Besties Ophelia and Justice: I miss you girls. Thanks to Periwinkle for a little Lisbeth Salander pep talk this week. To Julie as always. And to My ClogWielding Warrior Queen, J. You stun me.


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